Share your love with me.....I'm feeling sappy.

[jose 0]

Just over 1 year now, is how long I have been a jumper. I want to share with you all where I am at right now and how it is that I got here. I apologize for how long this will be, but my hearts a talkin.

I moved from California in 1997 to Washington for a construction job just after getting married. California sucked as the seasons were; earthquakes, floods, fires and riots. Leaving your friends behind is hard when your 25 years old. They are your support group. I enveloped myself in my remodel of a house I had bought with my new wife, and boy howdy, did it take my life in a different direction. No longer was the late night fuckoffs that me and my friends did. 4 wheeling in the hills and drinking beer by a bonfire in the canyon somewhere. Just being silly and having a good time with my buddies and girlfriend, now wife. Those were the days of carefree and irresponsibility. Wow......I sure wish I had realized how special those days were when I was living them.

So anyways, back to the house. 6 years later, I am finally coming to a close with this damn thing I call the neverending lifesucker. I now have a full time position as a firefighter, and a year and a half old boy named James Patrick. Geeze....how did I get here? It hasnt seemed like that long, but it has been an eternity in the same. Once I was young and carefree, now I am rooted, carreered, and a father.

I have made a couple friends along the way here in Wa, but none like the ones I had back home. Sure, I get out once in a while and cut loose with some guys. Maybe go for a dirtbike ride or something, but somehow it seems all to pacifistic. What is missing. I don't feel like the guy I once was. I dont think I look like the guy I once was. How can it be that I am losing my godamn hair at age 30. What the fuck did I do to deserve that? Its not like I'm friggin bald, buy you know guys, its just not that thick there anymore,ya know?

One early spring, my brother came out to visit me from Co. He had started jumping earlier in the year, and had about 60 jumps or so. He was always talking about it. We start drinking and get real stupid ya know. Just seeing how much we can annoy the wife and mom. Hehe. He brought out some video tapes of skydiving stuff. One was Good Stuff and Swoop and some other one. We watched them and during one of the videos, there was a scene of a base jumper going off the cliffs in Norway. It was a parallel jump with the cameraman off to the right. My hair stood on the back of my neck and I had this wave of emotion come over me. In my mind, I knew that I had to do this thing called skydiving. It wasnt merely a desire or a want, but a fact, a necessity, a destiny awating me.

The next day, I was in Pitt Meadows BC. going thru my PFF. It was a shitty day, so I only got 1 IAD in. But while I was there waiting for the weather to change, I sat on the couch and watched these guys and gals just fiddlefuck around in the hanger. It was obvious that they all knew each other, and it was neat and depressing at the same time to see them enjoy themselves and each other so much. It reminded me of when I was still in Cali. with my buds and how young and stupid we were. Course we knew we were stupid and immature, but we didnt give a fuck. We were happy with who we were. Well, this is what was before me right there in that hanger, and I thought to myself, "I will never have as free of a friendship with others as these people have with each other. They must have known each other for a lifetime."

I continued with my PFF and got my solo certificate. I bought a rig at jump 16. Took my A test at jump 25 and passed. I continued jumping at the same DZ all summer, but with all my other responsibilities, I did not get to jump as much as planned. I made some small acquaintances in that time, but nothing significant. I was still a low time jumper that people were afraid of, and rightly so.

I proceeded to jump my ass off over the winter in the lower US with my brother and his and now my friends. We fostered some good relationships, but long distance ya know. I learned alot over the winter about the sport and my skills improved. Freeflying was definitely for me.

As this new season has dawned upon us I have been to my local DZ quite regularly and have attended the Kamloops May Meet in BC. It was magical. I have never flown so good before, and was getting in 2-8 way sit flies and hanging in with the best of them. Toe docks, grabs, and all kinds of cool shit that I only dreamed of. Even did a tube jump. All of a sudden I felt an amazing relationship growing between myself and others that I jump with. Some I have known for the whole year and some I have just met. I was starting to feel like I was a part of their group, their being, their silly and stupidness that I have so much missed, but not really know it all these years. I can't express in words how these people make me feel.

Over the last few weeks, I have been at the DZ numerous times with some of these people. Flying free and having a hoot. We often go out after jumping and have dinner. All the time acting people 10-15 years younger. It's amazing. We plan events outside jumping to hang with each other, celebrate birthdays, just go piss off and stuff. How is it that there are really people like this? People who hardly know you, but are willing to let you inside their vulnerable undersides with unstaving friendship? Just tonight I realized that I am now one of those guys who are fiddlefucking around in the hanger and not the guy on the couch. I feel like I am a part of something. Acceptance? Belonging? I don't exactly know, but I it feels like a long hard hug from someone you love, but havent seen in a long time. I don't want it to end.

Maybe this is a kind of payoff for all the hard work I have put into my personal life in the last 6 years. I feel that I have neglected the younger person in me for long enough and I can not even begin to tell all you how much it means to have your friendship and comradiery. Jumpers are an amazing kind of being, and to be one, not only physically, but spiritually, is one of the greatest gifts one can have.

[airtwardo 7]

Welcome to "OZ"
...But now that your truely here, understand and accept.

You can never go back!

Blue Skies Brother.

~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~

[QuickDraw 0]

Great Post Jose.

I think you touched on something there that we have all felt and seen,
being a low-time jumper myself, it just inspires me when i meet all of these great people with no hang-ups other than what beer they drink.

I am not a father, and having a pot to piss in is a distant dream at the moment,
but i think that is the foundation of why all of us come to this site.

Once again excellent post.

-- Hope you don't die. --

I'm fucking winning

[ltdiver 3]

Very well said.

We all have this inner 'child', this need to belong, this desire to succeed. Acceptance no matter who we are.

Welcome to the world where this can all be rolled up into one.

ltdiver

Don't tell me the sky's the limit when there are footprints on the moon

[RevJim 0]

Wow. Nice post. It raised the hair on my neck and arms. Why? I'm not sure. I think it reminded me of, well, me. You are so right about the friendships that are formed within our little community.
Thanks for the wonderful post!

It's your life, live it!
Karma
RB#684 "Corcho", ASK#60, Muff#3520, NCB#398, NHDZ#4, C-33989, DG#1

[leroydb 0]

one word.... AMEN

Leroy


..I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw my bath toys were a toaster and a radio...

[CrazyIvan 0]

Dude, it could be worse...you could be ME

__________________________________________
Blue Skies and May the Force be with you.

[Chivo 0]

Very nice post... brings back so many memories... from last weekend... and the weekend before that... and the one before that...

~Chivo

[bobsled92 0]

That's excellent.
I had stopped for 5 years and "that feeling" hit me (the 1st jump returning/refresher) so strongly that I had tears of pure joy (hoping no one saw me).
You have your heart in the right place, appreciating all that life has to offer while others just blow through without ever "living".
-Grant

_______________________________
If I could be a Super Hero,
I chose to be: "GRANT-A-CLAUS". and work 365 days a Year.
http://www.hangout.no/speednews/

[katiebear21 0]

Right on... so many of us share those same feelings and passion for the sport!

Katie
Get your PMS glass necklace here

[DYEVOUT 0]

I'm sorry I didn't read your post, but it was really long. I shall forever know you as the guy with the exquisite avatar of the guy blowing puke out of his nose - BEAUTIFUL

----------------=8^)----------------------
"I think that was the wrong tennis court."

[jtval 0]

well of course this reminds me of a billy joel song

A bottle of white, a bottle of red
Perhaps a bottle of rose instead
We'll get a table near the street
In our old familiar place
You and I, face to face oooh

A bottle of red, a bottle of white
It all depends on your appetite
I'll meet you any time you want
In our Italian Restaurant.

Things are okay with me these days
Got a good job, got a good office
Got a new wife, got a new life
And the family is fine
Oh, we lost touch long ago
You lost weight, I did not know
You could ever look so nice after so much time!

Do you remember those days hanging out at the village green?
Engineer boots, leather jackets,and tight blue jeans
Oh, you'd drop a dime in the box play a song
About New Orleans
Cold beer, hot lights
My sweet romantic teenage nights

Brenda and Eddie were the popular steadies
And the king and the queen at the prom
Riding around with the car top down
And the radio on
Nobody looked any finer or was more of a hit at the Parkway Diner
We never knew we could want more than that out of life
Surely Brenda and Eddie would always know how to survive

Brenda and Eddie were still going steady in the summer of '75
When they decided the marriage would be at the end of July
Everyone said they were crazy
Brenda you know you're much too lazy
And Eddie could never afford to live that kind of life
But there we were waving Brenda and Eddie goodbye.

They got an apartment with deep pile carpet
And a couple of paintings from Sears
A big waterbed that they bought with the bread
They had saved for a couple of years
But they started to fight when the money got tight
And they just didn't count on the tears

Well they lived for a while in a very nice style
But it's always the same in the end
They got a divorce as a matter of course
And they parted the closest of friends
Then the king and the queen went back to the green
But you can never go back there again.

Brenda and Eddie had had it already
By the summer of '75
From the high to the low to the end of the show
For the rest of their lives
They couldn't go back to the greasers
The best they could do was pick up their pieces
But we always knew they would both find a way to get by
Oh, that's all I heard about Brenda and Eddie
Can't tell you more cause I told you already
And here we are waving Brenda and Eddie goodbye.

A bottle of red, and bottle of white
Whatever kind of mood you're in tonight
I'll meet you anytime you want
In our Italian Restaurant

My photos

My Videos

[EricaH 0]

Holy cow!! It's my story almost exactly. But I moved from FL to Chicago for College & got stuck here. Went through groups of friends every year, never really fitting in.
Came out to do a tandem & saw the people in the hanger "fiddlefucking" around & thought "I belong here, this is were I belong". I grew up the first time on the beaches of FL & now I'm regressing into the same HAPPY, life loving, joking girl I use to be on the dz planes of Chicagoland.

Life really is great here & in this world. I don't get along so well w/ my blood family... but this skydiving family is so much more wonderful, close, forgiving, sharing, loving & honest AND it extends accross the world. After wasting 8 years being unhappy in the metropolitan way of life... I've found my "home" & I am truly happy now.

There is no can't. Only lack of knowledge or fear. Only you can fix your fear.

PMS #227 (just like the TV show)