Zenister 0 #1 April 9, 2003 QuoteMy complaint about Lord Zenister I've tried to keep quiet, but I just can't hold it in any longer. I have to tell everyone that Lord Zenister is apt to respond to this letter in the same emotional way that a devout Christian in the 15th century might have responded to someone who announced publicly that he didn't believe in the virgin birth. In the rest of this letter, I will use history and science (in the Hegelian sense) to prove that I indeed find Zenister's demeanor and pomposity downright apalling. Although chimpanzees can be convinced to wear clothing, understand commands, and even ride bicycles (if well paid for their services in bananas), it would be virtually impossible to convince Zenister that his bedfellows all have serious personal problems. In fact, the way Zenister keeps them loyal to him is by encouraging and exacerbating these problems rather than by helping to overcome them. So long as the devastating inequities that characterize our society persist, his spin doctors will be unable to deny that Zenister has never gotten ahead because of his hard work or innovative ideas. Rather, all of Zenister's successes are due to kickbacks, bribes, black market double-dealing, outright thuggery, and unsavory political intrigue. Now that I've had time to think hard about his protests, my only question is this: Why? Why distract people from serious analysis of the situation? Well, we all know the answer to that question, don't we? But in case you don't, then you should note that the question that's on everyone's mind these days is, "Why doesn't he point a critical finger at himself for a change?" That is, what is this brainless fascination he has with escapism? A complete answer to that question would take more space than I can afford, so I'll have to give you a simplified answer. For starters, he says he's going to deny us the opportunity to sound the bugle of liberty any day now. Is he out of his mind? The answer is fairly obvious when you consider that I recently overheard a couple of misinformed, vapid pickpockets say that his refrains are our final line of defense against tyrrany. Here, again, we encounter the blurred thinking that is characteristic of this Zenister-induced era of slogans and propaganda. I demand an apology from Zenister for his insults. And that's where we are right now. I could substantiate what I'm saying about the worst types of beer-guzzling knuckle-draggers I've ever seen, but I don't feel that that's necessary, since we all know what they're like. One of his thralls once said, "We're supposed to shut up and smile when Zenister says irritable things." Now that's pretty funny, of course, but I didn't include that quote just to make you laugh. I included it to convince you that Zenister doesn't want us to expose some of his jaundiced, nasty deeds. He would rather we settle for the meatless bone of sadism. Having studied his charges and finding them groundless, I must now tell the world that griping about Zenister will not make him stop trying to burn our fair cities to the ground. But even if it did, he would just find some other way to clear forests, strip the topsoil, and turn a natural paradise into a dust bowl through a self-induced drought. The reason I'm writing this letter is that hedonism is a growing threat to society and should be outlawed. With this central point cleared up, the rest of Zenister's arguments are rendered moot, as I try never to argue with him, because it's clear he's not susceptible to reason. Personally, I don't expect Zenister to give up his crusade to add insult to injury. But we'll see. The salient point here is that if I seem a bit illiterate, it's only because I'm trying to communicate with him on his own level. While reading this letter, you may have occasionally asked yourself, "Where is all of this leading?" and, "What is the point exactly?" I deliberately wrote in the style I did so that you may come up with your own conclusions. Therefore, I leave you with only the following: Lord Zenister is a prime example of the ignorance, naivete, and plain old stupidity that he so adamantly criticizes. go here____________________________________ Those who fail to learn from the past are simply Doomed. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
trigger 0 #2 April 9, 2003 So what i heard is all true then!.CHOP WOOD COLLECT WATER. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BBKid 0 #3 April 9, 2003 Thank god for that - I thought I'd forgotten how to read English then. Thanks for the link too, oh, my least favourite professor is going to have a bad day when he checks his e-mail. BWAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!! Nick --------------------------- "I've pierced my foot on a spike!!!" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
D22369 0 #4 April 9, 2003 most AWSOME!!! I put that one in my favorites.......I can see its gonna get used one of these days. thanks for opening my eyes to the possibilities!!! RoyThey say I suffer from insanity.... But I actually enjoy it. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rebecca 0 #5 April 9, 2003 Everybody lock your doors, get a gun, protect yourself! Ms. Rebecca is planning to create massive civil unrest! Let me begin by saying that she would not hesitate to force square pegs into round holes if she felt she could benefit from doing so. "What's that?", I hear you ask. "Is it true that her compeers can conceive of nothing but deluded defenses of her amateurish practices?" Why, yes, it is. I'd like to finish with a quote from a private e-mail message sent to me by a close friend of mine: "Ms. Rebecca has an ego of galactic proportions". Too funny! Good stuff- thanks Zenister! you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' -- well do you, punk? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PhillyKev 0 #6 April 9, 2003 Oh man....you know there are going to be 500 uses of this site over the next week. I've seen what the auto complaing generator can do to a message board. It ain't pretty. It does get really funny though when people think it's a legitimate attack against them and start responding point by point. I can think of a few people on here it would be amusing to see the reaction of. But I guess personal attacks are still off limits even if computer generated Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skymama 37 #7 April 9, 2003 My complaint about Skymama Pathetic. Moonstruck. Reckless. In case you can't tell, I'm making a direct reference to Skymama. I assume you already know that this makes the issue an even greater tragedy, but I have something more important to tell you. Be forewarned: The central paradox of her shenanigans, the twist that makes her analects so irresistible to the worst sorts of insolent, cold-blooded slubberdegullions there are, is that these people truly believe that she has achieved sainthood. The facts are in: It is a sad state of affairs when inhumane scumbags like Skymama "solve" all our problems by talking them to death. heehee...I always knew you slubberdegullions thought of me as a saint! She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man, because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
thethinker 0 #8 June 13, 2003 Zenister, hey baby, this is mama... I just wanted to say i read ya posts baby n you seem like a very smart man. Perhaps we could cam to cam sometime and share a sun rise in the morning. I like donuts, and sex for the am breakfast how bout you? Does it sound like a plan? You so sexy. We do not have to visit a madhouse to find disordered minds; our planet is the mental institution of the universe. -Johann von Goethe Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jtval 0 #9 June 13, 2003 rand, last time this was posted I picked a few names from work and left them lying around! it cuased such great confusion... I even wrote one as a letter of reprimand. IT was fkn funny as hell!My photos My Videos Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bbarnhouse 0 #10 June 13, 2003 Oh and just think....I have to go on a date with this scallywag!(Zenister) I am absolutely, positively mortified at the thought! Sticky, I just hate when its sticky...Gawd I miss Tara.... But iffin' ya give me a ransome balance.... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zenister 0 #11 June 13, 2003 lol..i had forgotten about this..hmmm who should i complain about today??____________________________________ Those who fail to learn from the past are simply Doomed. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jtval 0 #12 June 13, 2003 ah ...whats your bosses name! it sems to cause hysterics in my shop! or it that dissentionMy photos My Videos Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
