Things NOT to Say During Sex

[happythoughts 0]

Things NOT to Say During Sex

1. I hope you don't expect a raise for this.
2. Hurry up, the game's about to start.
3. Are you trying to be funny?
4. You're almost as good as my ex.
5. Is that smell coming from you?
6. Haven't you ever done this before?
7. BEER!
8. You're so much like your sister.
9. What's your name again?
10. A second time? I barely stayed awake the first time.
11. Can we order a pizza?
12. Smile for the camera!
13. I think the condom broke 10 minutes ago.
14. Hold on, let me change the channel.
15. But you just started!
16. How much do I owe you?
17. Stop moaning, you sound stupid.
18. I'm still looking for your good side.
19. Is it in yet?
20. You're fogging up the windshield.
21. Did I tell you my Aunt Martha died in this bed?
22. On second thought, let's turn out the lights.
23. Your best friend does this much better.
24. Im sorry, I wasn't listening.
25. Did I forget to tell you I got worms from my cat?
26. Don't make that face at me.
27. I hope you're as good looking when I'm sober.
28. Your mother's hot. Can you fix us up?
29. Just use your finger, it's bigger.
30. Can you hold this sandwich for me?
31. You're as soft as a sheep, inside and out.
32. I really hate women who actually think sex means something.
33. You woke me up for that?
34. We'll try again later when you can satisfy me, too.
35. And to think, I didn't even have to buy you dinner.
36. I haven't had this much sex since I was a hooker.
37. Is it O.K. if I tell my friends about this?
38. Hurry up, I'm late for a date.
39. It's nice being in bed with a woman I don't have to inflate.
40. Maybe you're just out of practice.
41. Don't squirm, you'll spill my beer.
42. Respect you in the morning? I don't respect you now.

[Viking 0]

thanx for the pointers man!

I swear you must have footprints on the back of your helmet - chicagoskydiver
My God has a bigger dick than your god -George Carlin

[airtwardo 7]

By now everyone knows what
Coyote Ugly is...

...Ya know what's worse than Coyote Ugly???





Waking up with a chewed of arm under YOU!

even worse is a Rolex is still attached!

~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~

[happythoughts 0]

Quote

thanx for the pointers man!

Some women have Parthenophobia. If the subject comes up, just act like a veteran.

[Viking 0]

BWAHAHAHAHAHA you bastard i almost spit rootbeer all over my room when i found out what that means!!!

I swear you must have footprints on the back of your helmet - chicagoskydiver
My God has a bigger dick than your god -George Carlin