wmw999 2,589 #1 June 13, 2003 As I've matured..... I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in. I've learned that one good turn gets most of the blankets. I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just jackasses. I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it. I've learned that whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed. I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others - they are more screwed up than you think. I've learned that depression is merely anger without enthusiasm. I've learned that it is not what you wear, it is how you take it off. I've learned that you can keep vomiting long after you think you're finished. I've learned age is a very high price to pay for maturity. I've learned that I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy it. I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities. I've learned that artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity. I've learned that 99% of the time when something isn't working in your house, one of your kids did it. I've learned that there is a fine line between genius and insanity. I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away. (And the real pains in the ass are permanent.) And remember it's never too late to have a happy childhood. Wendy W.There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
n2skdvn 0 #2 June 13, 2003 Subject: Oxymoron`s Oxymoron's 1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks? 2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand? 3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know? 4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words? 5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack? 6. Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing? 7. Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing? 8. Why do "tug" boats push their barges? 9. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already there? 10. Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting? 11. Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light"? 12. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected? 13. Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites? 14. Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things? 15. Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds? 16. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it? 17. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting? 18. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? 19. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right? 20. Why is bra singular and panties plural? 21. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead? 22. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase? 23. How come abbreviated is such a long word? 24. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them? 25. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? 26. Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one? 27. Christmas is weird. What other time of the y ear do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks? if my calculations are correct SLINKY + ESCULATOR = EVERLASTING FUN my site Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SpeedRacer 1 #3 June 13, 2003 As I've matured... I've learned that you should never drive through the middle of a small southern town at 100 miles per hour with the local sheriff's drunken sixteen-year-old daughter on your lap. Speed Racer -------------------------------------------------- Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SpeedRacer 1 #4 June 13, 2003 QuoteChristmas is weird. What other time of the y ear do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks? here's another one re. Christmas “Everyone loves the Holidays. The Democrats love them because they involve deficit spending. The Republicans love them because they get to cut down a tree.” — Garrison Keillor Speed Racer -------------------------------------------------- Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MikeMcLean 0 #5 June 17, 2003 QuoteI've learned that you should never drive through the middle of a small southern town at 100 miles per hour with the local sheriff's drunken sixteen-year-old daughter on your lap. Substitue "Indiana" for "southern" and a wonderful college memory comes bubbling to the surface.It wouldn't hurt you to think like a fucking serial killer every once in a while - just for the sake of prevention Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MochaSkyChick 0 #6 June 17, 2003 Quote21. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead? LOL...It's so funny because we've all done it. PMS #62 Zarza R[red Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CrazyIvan 0 #7 June 17, 2003 QuoteQuote21. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead? LOL...It's so funny because we've all done it. You forgot SHAKING it too. __________________________________________ Blue Skies and May the Force be with you. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MochaSkyChick 0 #8 June 17, 2003 QuoteQuoteQuote21. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead? LOL...It's so funny because we've all done it. You forgot SHAKING it too. Even better...take the batteries out then put them right back in hoping for some magical recharge. PMS #62 Zarza R[red Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zenister 0 #9 June 17, 2003 sometime you just need that ONE button press to change the VCR input..(the button thats ONLY on the remote on some machines) moving the batteries sometimes works..pressing harder never does.. on remotes..____________________________________ Those who fail to learn from the past are simply Doomed. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
