rainy day funnies

[SpeedRacer 1]

Well, I was supposed to go to the DZ today, but we got yet ANOTHER rainy day.

Nothing to do but post whore. Dilbert quotes:

"My invention can detect human stupidity. It has a very simple interface. All I do is point it at people."
"Then what does it do?"
"Why would it need to do anything else?"


I have a new personal crusade. I'm going to hunt down the people who have strong opinions on subjects they dont understand. Then I'll bop them with this cardboard tube.

Speed Racer
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[DaGimp 0]

well i dont think there is anythig funny about a rainy day

"Professor of Pimpology"~~~Bolas

[Guest]

"Out-Out! You demons of stupidity!"

"The mouse does not know life until it is in the mouth of the cat."

[SpeedRacer 1]

On consultants:

"My recommendations are based on an analysis of accountablity. As a consultant, I'm not accountable to your stockholders. So I can recommend anything that amuses me."

"I like to con people. And I like to insult people. If you combine con & insult, you get consult!"

"If you give a man a fish he will eat for a day. But if you teach a man to fish he will buy an ugly hat. And if you talk about fish to a starving man then you are a consultant."

Speed Racer
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[CrazyIvan 0]

Speaking of consultants:

Consultants Creed:

We the willing, led by the unknowing
are doing the impossible for the ungreatful.

We have done so much, so well, for so long,
with so little, we are now qualified
to do anything, with nothing.

__________________________________________
Blue Skies and May the Force be with you.

[happythoughts 0]

Quote

I have a new personal crusade. I'm going to hunt down the people who have strong opinions on subjects they dont understand. Then I'll bop them with this cardboard tube.

You seem to feel strongly about this intelligence issue. Does this mean that the bop will be self-administered?

[happythoughts 0]

My life as an employee: Working 55-60 hours a week because overtime is built into the project plan. Expected unpaid overtime 400 hours per year. Expected vacation time 120 hours per year.

Beeper call on 4 application systems. Constantly reminded that the company is going through a "tough period" and we are all lucky to have a job. Of course, all the people that I used to work with lost their jobs in the merger. Expectation of a raise?

My life as a consultant: Only overtime and weekend work if they have a need me. You can't waste the time of someone you are paying. No beeper calls. Making 20% more and averaging 2 months a year vacation.