FliegendeWolfgf 0 #1 June 23, 2003 I'm sure most of you have gone trhough this at some point. My partner's father called me last night in order to persuade my man to stop skydiving. There was an undercurrent of "If you really cared about our son, you would give him an ultimatim to stop." My response was more along the lines of "Because I love him, I want him to be happy and skydiving makes him happy." In case this becomes an ongoing thing (I have a feeling it will), are there any suggestions on how to appease the potential rents' in law? I thought of telling him that recreational drugs, a favorite activity of his other son, are far more dangerous than skydiving. This doesn't really seem like an option. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PhillyKev 0 #2 June 23, 2003 Just tell them that you have a huge insurance policy out on him and there's no way in hell you're convincing him to give it up. That should shut them up. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites FliegendeWolf 0 #3 June 23, 2003 Everyone say hi to meine Ali! She's awesome. Ali: a few places to poke around here- http://www.dropzone.com/cgi-bin/forum/gforum.cgi?post=529644#529644 http://www.dropzone.com/cgi-bin/forum/gforum.cgi?post=529634#529634 http://www.dropzone.com/cgi-bin/forum/gforum.cgi?post=509598#509598A One that Isn't Cold is Scarcely a One at All Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Amazon 7 #4 June 23, 2003 I always use the lines about Mama Cass died choking to death on food on her couch. Sonny Bono was attacked by a homicidal tree while skiiing. Dr Atkins died after slipping on the ice. Ole Number 3 died when he just bumped the wall in his race car.... when its your time to go its just time. If they really are concerned tell them to quit eating, Never go outside on slippery days, do not drive a car and never never ski thru a forest of homicidal trees.Amazon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Faber 0 #5 June 23, 2003 Skydive is safe in a surden margen.Lots of things are way more dangerus than skydiving.Did any ever borther to tell about all the safty we has in our jumps? ADD,Reserve packed by a pro. main packed by our self.Good education. I have never had any problems by telling my parents what im doing and they respect it(even my BASE),i think its about comunication,and NOT lying.You cant make trust be a lie.never.. Be honest about why you do it and why you wont stop doing it(if you dont want). Stay safe Stefan Faber Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites GARYC24 3 #6 June 23, 2003 Instead of talking about it.. How about showing them some video's like: From Wings Come Flight-Norman Kent Willing to fly (even tho I have not seen that one!) Maybe even-"Over the edge"- Tom Sanders Other than that..make sure your husband is current and always be safe! The videos' will show the beauty and art of skydiving. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites quade 4 #7 June 23, 2003 Probably the best thing you can hope for for them to just leave you both alone about the subject. To that end, I would suggest not talking to them about it. They already know it's a part of his life, so leave it at that and ignore the rest. There's no real need to convince them of anything and you'd probably only be wasting your time trying, if not also causing a further rift between all of the parties involved.quade - The World's Most Boring Skydiver Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites quade 4 #8 June 23, 2003 Quote From Wings Come Flight-Norman Kent Willing to fly (even tho I have not seen that one!) Maybe even-"Over the edge"- Tom Sanders Just don't mention what happened to the wives. They probably don't need to hear the stories. While skydiving is a very beautiful experience -- it's definately not a safe one. Seriously, it's probably best to just ignore the families.quade - The World's Most Boring Skydiver Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Kris 0 #9 June 23, 2003 If it's his father that called, show him the airplane washing and intermission scenes from the Chronicles III video. Guaranteed he'll be out for a tandem the next weekend.Sky, Muff Bro, Rodriguez Bro, and Bastion of Purity and Innocence!™ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites aero04 0 #10 June 23, 2003 See if you can get them to the DZ one weekend. Let them see what goes on a normal weekend. Teach them a little bit about our sport. Let them see a rig up close and explain the safty features, RSL, Cypress, ect. Let them see the smiles on the faces of everyone, especially your partner. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites happythoughts 0 #11 June 24, 2003 QuoteWhile skydiving is a very beautiful experience -- it's definately not a safe one. Seriously, it's probably best to just ignore the families. Agreed. It is not safe. Never tell anyone that it is. No level of experience or ability makes it safe. It is best to let the matter drop. Don't discuss it with the family. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Luminous 0 #12 June 24, 2003 QuoteSee if you can get them to the DZ one weekend. Let them see what goes on a normal weekend. Teach them a little bit about our sport. Let them see a rig up close and explain the safty features, RSL, Cypress, ect. Let them see the smiles on the faces of everyone, especially your partner. What she said. You can't convince them it's "Safe". You can show them how we make it as safe as possible. If you really want to you can quote statistics that show that percentage wise, more people are seriously injured our killed driving, playing softball, or walking down stairs than are skydiving. You'll find a link on DZ.com somewhere for that. Some people will always be convinced we have a death wish. Allow them their opinion and continue with your life. BSBD "Dancers are considered insane by those that don't hear the music." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites bobsled92 0 #13 June 24, 2003 Point out that everything else we do every day has high statistics. Driving ANYwhere, crossing the street, slipping in the tub......._______________________________ If I could be a Super Hero, I chose to be: "GRANT-A-CLAUS". and work 365 days a Year. http://www.hangout.no/speednews/ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites happythoughts 0 #14 June 24, 2003 QuotePoint out that everything else we do every day has high statistics. Driving ANYwhere, crossing the street, slipping in the tub....... This is the basic problem that I have with the "safe" argument. The statistics are about death, not about injury. The family is worried about death and possible other injuries. Everyone on this forum knows a couple of people who have died, some more. Everyone know at least five people who have broken arms, legs, ankles, etc. Everyone posting knows people right now who are not jumping due to injuries. True? Trying to persuade the family that skydiving is safe is a waste of time because no fact will persuade them anyway. Avoiding the topic saves a lot of pointless drama. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites MarkF 0 #15 June 24, 2003 My reply would have been a lot more terse. Something along the lines of "if you want him to stop, you tell him". Most likely I would have told 'em to take their emotional blackmail and stuff it in a very dak place and to get the fuck out of my sight. I just cannot abide that sort of thing...:-) Beware though, being as blunt as I tend to be gets you into a bit of trouble. No-one's ever left guessing what I meant though...Ooroo Mark F... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites mccordia 74 #16 June 24, 2003 Just make fun of every question, give em freaky answers like "My instructor....god have merci on his soul.....always told me that skydiving was verry safe...." The more you hammer on how 'safe' skydiving is, the less they'll actualy believe you.....just forget about it... You could show em some mumbo-jumbo made-up statistics that show skydiving being safer then pulling a hair from your nose, but why even bother?JC FlyLikeBrick I'm an Athlete? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites goose491 0 #17 June 24, 2003 I agree, there's no point in 'hammering' "It's safe" to someone who thinks It's not. The only thing you can do is educate them and let them make the decision for themself. I've found though, that ALL whuffos are interested in my gear... I'm sure you all are aware of this too. My father was extremely uneasy and nervous about my skydiving until I gave him the grand tour of my rig. Just seeing how it works, going through the deployment stages on the ground (i.e. the pilot chute acts as an anchor now that I fall away from, the lines come off the bag here and are fully stretched before any fabric hits the air.... blah blah.... this is my cutaway pillow, you see this yellow tefflon cable?... This is the three ring system, when the tefflon cable is removed via the cutaway... This is my reserve handle.... this is where the reserve pilot chute springs out... blah blah... this is my cypress, if I'm under a thousand feet, and doing more than 78 down.....) Just seeing how much though and technology goes into the gear along with my personal knowedge of how it works and it's safety features just blew him away! He actually asks me about my skydives now inteade of just not wanting to hear about it. In the end, it's going to be his decision, but I think it would benefit you and 'yo man' to to give your dad such a walkaround of his aircraft. Good luck, blue skies, Nick My Karma ran over my Dogma!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites NoShitThereIWas 0 #18 June 24, 2003 I have not yet read all of the other responses so forgive me if I repeat someone else's advice... Yep, this is a tough topic. Especially for those of us who ARE parents and/or have neurotic/panicky or just simply loving and concerned parents... When my family asks me questions or makes comments to me about my safety in the sport and/or about my daughter I try to understand where they are coming from first. Then I explain that there are risks in crossing a busy street or getting into an automobile. I give them statistical information like we lose less than 1% a year and explain what most of the incident reports consist of. That many people believe or think, what if my parachute doesn't open when in reality, most incidents occur under properly functioning canopies. I explain that shit happens and no one can control or prevent everything and that the inevitable can and will happen. I also tell them that I take all precautionary measures to insure my own safety and the safety of others. Pretty much after I tell them all of that, they feel better. There is always an element of risk in everything we do while being alive on this planet. Life is pretty short when you think about it... Lets all live as long as we possibly can and get the most out of life as we can... Be safe everyone please and be aware.Roy Bacon: "Elvises, light your fires." Sting: "Be yourself no matter what they say." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Kris 0 #19 June 24, 2003 QuoteI give them statistical information like we lose about 1% a year and explain what most of the incident reports consist of. I think that percentage is a bit high. If you are counting the incidence per jumper and if you go by USPA's guess of 34K active jumpers, the percentage should be 0.10%. If you are going by the guess of number of jumps at 3-4 million per year in the US, then it would average a 0.0010% chance of fatality/jump.Sky, Muff Bro, Rodriguez Bro, and Bastion of Purity and Innocence!™ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites freakydiver 0 #20 June 24, 2003 Tell them to or show them the fatality rates compared to just about any other activity out there. I kid you not, there are actually more injuries per participant in bowling than in skydiving in a given year. -- (N.DG) "If all else fails – at least try and look under control." -- Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Join the conversation You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account. Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible. 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FliegendeWolf 0 #3 June 23, 2003 Everyone say hi to meine Ali! She's awesome. Ali: a few places to poke around here- http://www.dropzone.com/cgi-bin/forum/gforum.cgi?post=529644#529644 http://www.dropzone.com/cgi-bin/forum/gforum.cgi?post=529634#529634 http://www.dropzone.com/cgi-bin/forum/gforum.cgi?post=509598#509598A One that Isn't Cold is Scarcely a One at All Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Amazon 7 #4 June 23, 2003 I always use the lines about Mama Cass died choking to death on food on her couch. Sonny Bono was attacked by a homicidal tree while skiiing. Dr Atkins died after slipping on the ice. Ole Number 3 died when he just bumped the wall in his race car.... when its your time to go its just time. If they really are concerned tell them to quit eating, Never go outside on slippery days, do not drive a car and never never ski thru a forest of homicidal trees.Amazon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Faber 0 #5 June 23, 2003 Skydive is safe in a surden margen.Lots of things are way more dangerus than skydiving.Did any ever borther to tell about all the safty we has in our jumps? ADD,Reserve packed by a pro. main packed by our self.Good education. I have never had any problems by telling my parents what im doing and they respect it(even my BASE),i think its about comunication,and NOT lying.You cant make trust be a lie.never.. Be honest about why you do it and why you wont stop doing it(if you dont want). Stay safe Stefan Faber Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GARYC24 3 #6 June 23, 2003 Instead of talking about it.. How about showing them some video's like: From Wings Come Flight-Norman Kent Willing to fly (even tho I have not seen that one!) Maybe even-"Over the edge"- Tom Sanders Other than that..make sure your husband is current and always be safe! The videos' will show the beauty and art of skydiving. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
quade 4 #7 June 23, 2003 Probably the best thing you can hope for for them to just leave you both alone about the subject. To that end, I would suggest not talking to them about it. They already know it's a part of his life, so leave it at that and ignore the rest. There's no real need to convince them of anything and you'd probably only be wasting your time trying, if not also causing a further rift between all of the parties involved.quade - The World's Most Boring Skydiver Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
quade 4 #8 June 23, 2003 Quote From Wings Come Flight-Norman Kent Willing to fly (even tho I have not seen that one!) Maybe even-"Over the edge"- Tom Sanders Just don't mention what happened to the wives. They probably don't need to hear the stories. While skydiving is a very beautiful experience -- it's definately not a safe one. Seriously, it's probably best to just ignore the families.quade - The World's Most Boring Skydiver Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kris 0 #9 June 23, 2003 If it's his father that called, show him the airplane washing and intermission scenes from the Chronicles III video. Guaranteed he'll be out for a tandem the next weekend.Sky, Muff Bro, Rodriguez Bro, and Bastion of Purity and Innocence!™ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
aero04 0 #10 June 23, 2003 See if you can get them to the DZ one weekend. Let them see what goes on a normal weekend. Teach them a little bit about our sport. Let them see a rig up close and explain the safty features, RSL, Cypress, ect. Let them see the smiles on the faces of everyone, especially your partner. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #11 June 24, 2003 QuoteWhile skydiving is a very beautiful experience -- it's definately not a safe one. Seriously, it's probably best to just ignore the families. Agreed. It is not safe. Never tell anyone that it is. No level of experience or ability makes it safe. It is best to let the matter drop. Don't discuss it with the family. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Luminous 0 #12 June 24, 2003 QuoteSee if you can get them to the DZ one weekend. Let them see what goes on a normal weekend. Teach them a little bit about our sport. Let them see a rig up close and explain the safty features, RSL, Cypress, ect. Let them see the smiles on the faces of everyone, especially your partner. What she said. You can't convince them it's "Safe". You can show them how we make it as safe as possible. If you really want to you can quote statistics that show that percentage wise, more people are seriously injured our killed driving, playing softball, or walking down stairs than are skydiving. You'll find a link on DZ.com somewhere for that. Some people will always be convinced we have a death wish. Allow them their opinion and continue with your life. BSBD "Dancers are considered insane by those that don't hear the music." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bobsled92 0 #13 June 24, 2003 Point out that everything else we do every day has high statistics. Driving ANYwhere, crossing the street, slipping in the tub......._______________________________ If I could be a Super Hero, I chose to be: "GRANT-A-CLAUS". and work 365 days a Year. http://www.hangout.no/speednews/ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #14 June 24, 2003 QuotePoint out that everything else we do every day has high statistics. Driving ANYwhere, crossing the street, slipping in the tub....... This is the basic problem that I have with the "safe" argument. The statistics are about death, not about injury. The family is worried about death and possible other injuries. Everyone on this forum knows a couple of people who have died, some more. Everyone know at least five people who have broken arms, legs, ankles, etc. Everyone posting knows people right now who are not jumping due to injuries. True? Trying to persuade the family that skydiving is safe is a waste of time because no fact will persuade them anyway. Avoiding the topic saves a lot of pointless drama. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MarkF 0 #15 June 24, 2003 My reply would have been a lot more terse. Something along the lines of "if you want him to stop, you tell him". Most likely I would have told 'em to take their emotional blackmail and stuff it in a very dak place and to get the fuck out of my sight. I just cannot abide that sort of thing...:-) Beware though, being as blunt as I tend to be gets you into a bit of trouble. No-one's ever left guessing what I meant though...Ooroo Mark F... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mccordia 74 #16 June 24, 2003 Just make fun of every question, give em freaky answers like "My instructor....god have merci on his soul.....always told me that skydiving was verry safe...." The more you hammer on how 'safe' skydiving is, the less they'll actualy believe you.....just forget about it... You could show em some mumbo-jumbo made-up statistics that show skydiving being safer then pulling a hair from your nose, but why even bother?JC FlyLikeBrick I'm an Athlete? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
goose491 0 #17 June 24, 2003 I agree, there's no point in 'hammering' "It's safe" to someone who thinks It's not. The only thing you can do is educate them and let them make the decision for themself. I've found though, that ALL whuffos are interested in my gear... I'm sure you all are aware of this too. My father was extremely uneasy and nervous about my skydiving until I gave him the grand tour of my rig. Just seeing how it works, going through the deployment stages on the ground (i.e. the pilot chute acts as an anchor now that I fall away from, the lines come off the bag here and are fully stretched before any fabric hits the air.... blah blah.... this is my cutaway pillow, you see this yellow tefflon cable?... This is the three ring system, when the tefflon cable is removed via the cutaway... This is my reserve handle.... this is where the reserve pilot chute springs out... blah blah... this is my cypress, if I'm under a thousand feet, and doing more than 78 down.....) Just seeing how much though and technology goes into the gear along with my personal knowedge of how it works and it's safety features just blew him away! He actually asks me about my skydives now inteade of just not wanting to hear about it. In the end, it's going to be his decision, but I think it would benefit you and 'yo man' to to give your dad such a walkaround of his aircraft. Good luck, blue skies, Nick My Karma ran over my Dogma!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NoShitThereIWas 0 #18 June 24, 2003 I have not yet read all of the other responses so forgive me if I repeat someone else's advice... Yep, this is a tough topic. Especially for those of us who ARE parents and/or have neurotic/panicky or just simply loving and concerned parents... When my family asks me questions or makes comments to me about my safety in the sport and/or about my daughter I try to understand where they are coming from first. Then I explain that there are risks in crossing a busy street or getting into an automobile. I give them statistical information like we lose less than 1% a year and explain what most of the incident reports consist of. That many people believe or think, what if my parachute doesn't open when in reality, most incidents occur under properly functioning canopies. I explain that shit happens and no one can control or prevent everything and that the inevitable can and will happen. I also tell them that I take all precautionary measures to insure my own safety and the safety of others. Pretty much after I tell them all of that, they feel better. There is always an element of risk in everything we do while being alive on this planet. Life is pretty short when you think about it... Lets all live as long as we possibly can and get the most out of life as we can... Be safe everyone please and be aware.Roy Bacon: "Elvises, light your fires." Sting: "Be yourself no matter what they say." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kris 0 #19 June 24, 2003 QuoteI give them statistical information like we lose about 1% a year and explain what most of the incident reports consist of. I think that percentage is a bit high. If you are counting the incidence per jumper and if you go by USPA's guess of 34K active jumpers, the percentage should be 0.10%. If you are going by the guess of number of jumps at 3-4 million per year in the US, then it would average a 0.0010% chance of fatality/jump.Sky, Muff Bro, Rodriguez Bro, and Bastion of Purity and Innocence!™ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freakydiver 0 #20 June 24, 2003 Tell them to or show them the fatality rates compared to just about any other activity out there. I kid you not, there are actually more injuries per participant in bowling than in skydiving in a given year. -- (N.DG) "If all else fails – at least try and look under control." -- Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
