Genn 0 #26 June 28, 2003 pd190, would he really get kicked off the DZ because he isn't liked? or would he just have no friends? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
squirrel 0 #27 June 28, 2003 let him know that skydiving involves people from many different aspects of life...and that his behavior is offesive to 99.9% of them. i like the video taping idea... ________________________________ Where is Darwin when you need him? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pd190 0 #28 June 30, 2003 Well, time for an update.... He didn't show up this weekend. I hope that he isn't giving up. Genn, it's definately not because he's not liked. Okay, time for some examples. You guys need more info. That way you can see better what I'm talking about. Here are specifics that the DZO is concerned with..... 1. He physically assualted (bear hugged a tandem master in training jumper from behind seperating something in his rib cage) a jumper causing him to miss work on Monday and a doctors visit. This jumper had just met this guy the same day. We still had two tandems to complete before the end of the course. 2. Borderline sexually harassing female tandem students. He made some comments to some ladies who were completing pre jump training. These are just two of the examples. Now that you have a little more information, am I off of my rocker for wanting to help this kid???? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jimmytavino 16 #29 June 30, 2003 QuoteWell, time for an update.... 1. He physically assualted (bear hugged a tandem master in training jumper from behind seperating something in his rib cage) a jumper causing him to miss work on Monday and a doctors visit. This jumper had just met this guy the same day. We still had two tandems to complete before the end of the course. 2. Borderline sexually harassing female tandem students. He made some comments to some ladies who were completing pre jump training. These are just two of the examples. Now that you have a little more information, am I off of my rocker for wanting to help this kid???? You might be..... he sounds like he might be a product of the "M TV" generation,,,... you know " carry on,, do what you want. show off," and also of the World Wide Wrestling "phenomena" ....... slamming people around, bear hugging a person he hardly knows,,,, disrespect to women,,,,( that Damn WWW has gone way over the edge,,, in it's recent ways regarding women.....) talk about objectifying them,,, and in an atmosphere of violence, physical brutality and overt sexuality... what the hell do artificiall breasts, have to do with ANY "sporting event" ? The guy sounds like a Johnny Knoxville disciple...... the art/ lifestyle/sport of skydiving doesn't need to deal with such juveniles.... the sad thing is.... He probably doesn't even "get it"..... What are his skydiving abilities like?????...... Natural selction is at work here,,, don't interfere with it..... or you may wind up regretting it........ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
riggerrob 643 #30 June 30, 2003 QuoteIf he wants to work video, I'd have whoever is in charge of that give you some criteria he's not currently meeting, and make it clear that he has to already be meeting them before he can shoot video. If he's not interested in being liked, then giving him hints on that won't help. All you can do is try to figure out what motivates him, and figure out a carrot he can work toward. Wendy W. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Wendy has some good points. Make it clear to the kid what behavior is acceptable around students and what is not: bear-hugging, profanity, grabbing boobs, etc. Be gentle with your criticisms, because if you overwhelm him with a long list of his faults, you will just offend him and he will stop listening. Focus on improving on one social skill at a time. For example, tell all the other staff members that this weekend we are working on improving the kid's bear hugging skills, ie. approach from front, establish eye contact, call person by name, chuckle, make exaggerated hugging movements with arms, regain eye contact, make sure the other person is in a mood for hugging, regain eye contact, etc. Also make it clear to him the consequences of negative behavior, i.e. he is grounded as long as buddy with the sore rib cannot work. Remind staff members to reinforce both positive behaviors. This process of retraining is going to take a while. Once he has mastered one skill, say "Dude, your bear-hugging skills improved markedly last weekend, (be specific) yada, yada, so this weekend we are going to work on your attire. Do you have any t-shirts without profanity? No, hum, well, here you can borrow a polite old USPA t-shirt of mine." The kid reminds me of my younger self. It sounds like he never learned polite behavior. For example, I was bullied so badly as a child that I believed that insulting people was normal. A stint in the Army taught me to dis-trust authority figures, include swear words in every sentence and how to berate people like a drill sargent. It took me a lot of years to realize that drill sargents only achieve short term results. My attitude did not start to change until a senior instructor took me aside at the end of my Instructor A course and told me that I came across as an a**hole. I did not even know what the word meant! In the long run, I have come to realize that psyching students up like a drill sargent is worse than a waste of time. Now I spend most of my time listening to the student's side of the story and even managed to keep a civil tone when I showed a student how my shin was bleeding after he kicked it for the third time. Re-training this kid is going to be a slow process, with feedback at every step, but in the long run, your DZ will be a better place for your efforts. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
base311 0 #31 June 30, 2003 send him to hang out with scotty carbone for a couple of months. gardner Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
