KawiZX900 0 #26 June 30, 2003 rubber gloves and SARS masks Accelerate hard to get them looking, then slam on the fronts and rollright beside the car, hanging the back wheel at eye level for a few seconds. Guaranteed reaction- Dave Sonsky Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
blondeflyer7 0 #27 June 30, 2003 Quoteyeah, but how many licks would it take to get gooey insides off of a dead hamster that has been residing in Richard Gere's nether region? *Becky runs away from this thread* Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
andy2 0 #28 June 30, 2003 all jokes aside (and some pretty good ones come up with this thread) why dont you look online for some diagrams and charts of the skeletal system of hampsters? This would be a lot less traumatizing and probably more "scientificky" and more educational. I pretty much promise you there is going to be bits of fur, yellowed teeth, leathered skin, and probably one or two bugs living in it. We used to kill squirrells and hang them in our backyard when we were kids, and hanging on a noose, exposed to the rain and elements and such took 4-5 months to fully decompose to the point where they didn't stink anymore. This was in the warmer months. --------------------------------------------- let my inspiration flow, in token rhyme suggesting rhythm... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sinker 0 #29 June 30, 2003 oh come on now, you pussy!!! whoops, did I just call you that? Um, yes I did... -the artist formerly known as sinker Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jtval 0 #30 June 30, 2003 Quoteyeah, but how many licks would it take to get gooey insides off of a dead hamster that has been residing in Richard Gere's nether region? although I would guess, if you massage it just right it wont take too long. hmmm maybe six-eight inches long! WTF??? why Is this thread headed to the sodomy thread again!My photos My Videos Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
blondeflyer7 0 #31 June 30, 2003 Quoteoh come on now, you pussy!!! whoops, did I just call you that? Um, yes I did... OKOK....you caught me peeping Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sinker 0 #32 June 30, 2003 yep, legalize butt piracy and see what you get? it's like a seathing black hole... literally and figuratively, everything just gets sucked right into the topic... just saw this on the web, funny... how to create energy from a hamster... 1.Stick copper and zinc electrode-needles in opposite ends of hamster. Use in series for higher voltage. -gwh 2.Shove them back and forth in Richard Gere's butt. Creates static electricity. 3.Go to Radio Chack and offer them the hamster in exchange for two AAA batteries. 4.Attach the hamster to a hand-crank generator and then drop it onto a trampoline. 5.Ignite in large numbers. Use heat released to drive steam turbine. 6.Kidnap and threaten to torture. Extort ransom from animal-rights activists and other anti-cruelty types: demand payment in the form of electric current. 7.Drop hamsters from great heights. Use water-mill like turbine to generate electricity. 8.Drop large numbers of hamsters into tar pit, wait a few million years, drill for crude oil at same location to run electric turbine. 9.Cold Fusion -> Steam Turbine. No explanation necessary. -seano 10.Any form of neutron capture / beta emission. -seano 11.Convince hamsters they're really lemmings. Show cliff to hamsters. Install turbine halfway down cliff. 12.Densely pack hamsters into flywheel shape. Spin rapidly. Attach generator. 13.Put hamster on electricity-generating treadmill. Feed back small portion of generated electricity into hamster brain pleasure center. Watch him generate his little heart out! 14.Seal large quantity of hamsters in air tight holding tanks. Add water. Allow suitable time to pass for decomposition. Collect methane gas resulting. Put gas in fuel cells. 15.Smush mucho hamsters in a trough, use the drippings/blood to run a waterwheel for hydroelectric power. 16.Give hamsters lots of shitty beer. Use piss and vomit to run hydroelectric generator. 17.Skin hamster. Melt animal fat into tallow and then form candles. Heat steam turbine. 18.Switch hamsters for P6 chips coming of Intel assembly lines. Saved electricity will be enormous. Cover performance loss by releasing new version of Windows NT at the same time. -gwh 19.Build glass room. Put hamsters inside. Put cocaine inside. Ground the floor and attach negative leads to the ceiling. -gwh 20.Have hamster steal one of kube's magic cards. Leech power from resulting nuclear strike. 21.Teach hamsters to play blackjack. Once they're at the competitive level, convince Las Vegas hotel owners to convert to serving hamsters. Saved electricity from smaller lights, hotels, etc. -gwh 22.Accumulate enough hamsters that the self-gravitational force causes the mass to shrink and heat up. Use thermocouples to generate energy. -gwh 23.Raid PG&E corporate headquarters. Threaten to drop hamster down CEO's pants unless he gives you a power plant. -gwh 24.Get several dozen hamsters. Shoot them up with crystal meth. Attach dog sled. 25.(This is, undoubtedly, the way to get the most power from them) Combine the hamster with an equal mass of antimatter--a anti-hamster if you will. Then harness the massive energy release for power.... 26.Have the Emperor warp and twist a hamster clone into an evil Anti-Hamster, Darth Hamster. This should be good for 4-6 sequels. Install tension to electricity converters into theatre. -gwh 27.a. Find a good genetic engineer. b. Splice appropriate genes from electric eels into hamsters, because they're smaller and cuter and, well, hamsters. c. Feed the hamsters. d. Surgically install appropriate electrodes. e. Periodically drain off the voltage. Unfortunately, this only gets you DC current. 28.How could I have been so blind? Splice in genes from blue-green algae as , and you wouldn't even have to feed the hamsters! (Well, maybe some horous and iron and stuff) 29.Mail the electric company a dead hamster every day until they give you power for free. 30.Crossbreed hamster with Mothra and use resulting giant mutant lightning- breathing hamster as power source. 31.Give the hamster to Scotty, he'll find some way to yeild 20% more power from the dilithium crystals. 32.Take thousands of hamsters into orbit--when the orbit decays, they will heat up the atmosphere. With enough hamsters, you could raise the planets temperature as much as you want. 33.Pull the hamster out of root@soda's ass. Then when they turn red & embarrassed, use the heat from their red face to drive a Carnot engine 34.Emmass enormous quantities of hamsters until it reaches enough mass to begin hamsterfusion in the core. Use solar cells to convert radioation to electricity. - seano 35.Throw in more hamsters to 33 (above) until the hamsterstar goes supernova... you couldn't want any more energy than that... 36.Repeat 34 with another mass of hamsters... spin the resulting neutron-hamsters around each other in a binary orbit... use gravity waves to rotate hydro-turbine. 37.Take five or six hits of acid. Tell yourself very firmly that hamsters _are_ electricity. (Well, they've got lots of electrons in them, yes?) Acquire hamsters however you choose; "operationally," you've now got electricity. (I say "five or six hits," because I find that things which were perfectly clear to me after one hit, e.g., that the word "Krups" is actually an make onomatopeiac piece of German slang for an unprintable Viennese practice, make absolutely no sense afterwards; and Leary used to take five hits or so. QED.) 38.Give them little magnetic collars, and run them through a maze of coiled wires. 39.Reduce hamster to their component atoms. Compress the resulting plasma until it fuses. Transfer the released energy via heat/engine or energy conversion scheme of your choice. -ERic 40.Take two hamsters, run one through a klein bottle to convert it to anti- matter. Combine the first hamster with the anti-hamster. Harness the resultant massive burst of energy as per #38 above. -ERic 41.Drop hamster into black hole. Use photovoltaics to release the radiated energy. -Eric 42.It is a well-known result of quantum field theory that all fields are symmetric under the combined action of time-reversal, charge-conjugation and parity-inversion operators: the familiar TCP symmetry. It is trivial to show that time reversal and charge conjugation both take fermions into their anti-particles. Use this to show that plucking hamsters from mirrors will produce beaucoup electromagnetic radiation. (Hint: Do you need to pull the hamsters out of the mirror _going_backwards_in_time_?) Ref: J. J. Sakurai, _Adv. Quan. Mech._ 43.Put female hamster scent on glass rod. Release male hamster. He will try to rub his furry coat against glass rod. Drawback: only creates static electricty. -the artist formerly known as sinker Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Muenkel 0 #33 June 30, 2003 Can't you just give her the "dust to dust" speach? Chris _________________________________________ Chris Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
blondeflyer7 0 #34 June 30, 2003 OMG....you made a fire thread out of a dead hamster.....HOBBY....yes I need one Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hooked 0 #35 June 30, 2003 I simply can't imagine why a 6 yr. old girl would want to see what her dead hamster looks like after a year! Couldn't you just show her a picture of an animal skeleton? If it at all looks gross after digging it up, she might just have nightmares. J -------------------------------------- Sometimes we're just being Humans.....But we're always Human Beings. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zeemax 0 #36 June 30, 2003 Quoterubber gloves and SARS masks there were two SARS virus's sitting on a wall, one says to the other 'you know, i could murder a chinese'Phoenix Fly - High performance wingsuits for skydiving and BASE Performance Designs - Simply brilliant canopies Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sinker 0 #37 June 30, 2003 now chris, we've had that talk... what's better than an actual demonstration??? -the artist formerly known as sinker Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zenister 0 #38 June 30, 2003 its not graverobbing its archeology!at least it wasnt a richard gere joke.____________________________________ Those who fail to learn from the past are simply Doomed. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Muenkel 0 #39 June 30, 2003 But Jan, this is where it all begins with skydivers...interest in weird stuff. Chris _________________________________________ Chris Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sinker 0 #40 June 30, 2003 well, i'd view the corpus first, then if it isn't too gruesome, then Hannah could come and join the fun! Seriously though, she's very a very precocious 6 year old and we encourage her. She doesn't see anything morbid in it, we don't either, as long as the "meat and potatoes" are long gone... -the artist formerly known as sinker Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sinker 0 #41 June 30, 2003 that's right, graverobbing would be if we were using the the dead rodent for some freaky witchy festival or something. we just want it for the educational value... -the artist formerly known as sinker Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zenister 0 #42 June 30, 2003 Quote7.Drop hamsters from great heights. Use water-mill like turbine to generate electricity. what DZO is going to go for this??____________________________________ Those who fail to learn from the past are simply Doomed. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hooked 0 #43 June 30, 2003 I don't agree with that remark at all. Weird stuff okay, but I'm thinking of a 6 yr. old little girl here! Jan -------------------------------------- Sometimes we're just being Humans.....But we're always Human Beings. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jtval 0 #44 June 30, 2003 Quotethat's right, graverobbing would be if we were using the the dead rodent for some freaky witchy festival or something. we just want it for the educational value... do you think there are any valueables on the rodent? you know watches, rings...gold teeth! (staying away from the rings joke- where has the hamster been where a ring might be found. oHere richy, richy, richy)My photos My Videos Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hooked 0 #45 June 30, 2003 Quotewell, i'd view the corpus first, then if it isn't too gruesome, then Hannah could come and join the fun! Seriously though, she's very a very precocious 6 year old and we encourage her. She doesn't see anything morbid in it, we don't either, as long as the "meat and potatoes" are long gone... I am curious as to what prompted this interest??? Jan -------------------------------------- Sometimes we're just being Humans.....But we're always Human Beings. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
andy2 0 #46 June 30, 2003 [QUOTE] Quote -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 7.Drop hamsters from great heights. Use water-mill like turbine to generate electricity. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- what DZO is going to go for this??[/QUOTE] Come on man, you gotta BASE that little guy to get the good energy! --------------------------------------------- let my inspiration flow, in token rhyme suggesting rhythm... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jtval 0 #47 June 30, 2003 Quote I am curious as to what prompted this interest??? Jan HUNGER??My photos My Videos Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
andy2 0 #48 June 30, 2003 [QUOTE]I am curious as to what prompted this interest??? Jan [/QUOTE] penis envy? --------------------------------------------- let my inspiration flow, in token rhyme suggesting rhythm... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hooked 0 #49 June 30, 2003 Quote HUNGER?? You are just awful. Jan -------------------------------------- Sometimes we're just being Humans.....But we're always Human Beings. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jtval 0 #50 June 30, 2003 Quote[QUOTE]I am curious as to what prompted this interest??? Jan [/QUOTE] penis envy? why would his daughter...oh nevermindMy photos My Videos Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
