Okay - really tasteless joke!

[robskydiv 0]

Too good to be true.

[robskydiv 0]

Your man is soo lucky!

[txblondie 0]

What's the best form of birth control after 50?
Nudity
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
45 lbs.
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What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
45 minutes.
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What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife.
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Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.
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Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and
good looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.
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What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of
driving.
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How do you know when you're really ugly?
Dogs hump your leg with their eyes closed.
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How do you know when you're leading a pathetic life?
When a nymphomaniac tells you, "Lets just be friends."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mom's have Mother's day, Dad's have Father's day, what do single guys
have?
Palm Sunday.
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What does a 75 year old woman have between her breasts?
Her navel.
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What has a whole bunch of little balls and screws old ladies?
Bingo machine.
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What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW?
A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
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Why did God create alcohol?
So ugly people could have sex, too.
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What's the difference between Beer Nuts and Deer Nuts?
Beer Nuts are $1, and Deer Nuts are always under a buck.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
Mace will do that to you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia?
Everyone has the same DNA.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Did you hear about the Chinese couple who had a retarded baby?
They named him Sum Ting Wong.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the
other?
A speech impediment.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What do you call an Alabama farmer with a sheep under each arm?
A pimp.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Why do drivers education classes in redneck schools use the car only on
Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays?
Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What's the difference between a Southern zoo and a Northern zoo?
A Southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front the cage,
along with a recipe.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What's the difference between a Northern fairytale and a Southern
fairytale?
A Northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time." A Southern fairytale
begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit."

*****************************************
Blondes do have more fun!

[fungi3001 0]

what do you do if the washing machine breaks?






















slap the bitch

[Zenister 0]

Quote

Whats black and white, and doesn't make a sound if you run it over with a car?





A mime.

along those lines...


whats black and white and red and crawls along the sidewalk?








a wounded nun.

____________________________________
Those who fail to learn from the past are simply Doomed.

[robskydiv 0]

Okay Okay!! TxBlondie, You Win!!!
But allow me to add one to your reptoire. What is the dfference between a nothern blonde and a southern blonde?
A northern blonde says:"You can. A southern blonde says:" Y'all can."

[happythoughts 0]

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How do you know when you're leading a pathetic life?
When a nymphomaniac tells you, "Lets just be friends."

Or a hooker says, "Not on the first date..."

[freeflir29 0]

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provided that he "tip" me well for my service!

Excellent!!! Don't worry sweety......I won't stop at just the tip. You get the whole thing.

[leroydb 0]

Quote

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Excellent - I serve my man beers naked with just an apron and high heels on.
I still try to be a "good girl" about it whenever possible...

Hmmm...I think I'd rather just serve it naked!

[happythoughts 0]

Ok, back to really tasteless jokes...

My ex used to work in a hospital. She would come home from work and tell me about her day. I got tired of hearing inappropriate details during meals so I told her a story to get the idea across.

---
There was two guys crossing the desert on an airplane and it crashed. They were walking for days. They had no food and very little water. They were reallllly starving. They came across a dead camel. It was bloated and had maggots running back and forth.

The first guy finally said, "I can't stand it, I'll eat anything and took a few bites." The second guy just watched. After a while, the first one became violently ill and started vomiting. He looked at the second guy and asked "I guess you had the right idea." The second guy picked up a chunk and said, "Nah, just waiting for a hot meal..."

[clouddancerss 0]

How did Helen Keller's mother punish her? She re-arranged the furniture

[SkydiverRick 0]

Three gay guys are sitting in a hot tub. A big glob of cum floats to the surface. One of the guy gets angry and asks "ok, who farted?"

never pull low......unless you are

[CrazyThomas 0]

What was the woman doing in the living room?
That's beside the point. What was the bitch doing out of the kitchen?

What's the difference between like and love?
Spit or swallow.


Later,
Thomas

[skydyvr 0]

Boyfriend, goin' down on his girlfriend for the first time: Damn, that's the biggest pussy I've ever seen, damn that's the biggest pussy I've ever seen!

Girlfriend: Well geez, you didn't have to say it twice!!

Boyfriend: I didn't!!!

. . =(_8^(1)

[champu 1]

what's the difference between a truckload of babies and a truckload of bowling balls?

you can't unload the bowling balls with a pitchfork.

[SkydiverRick 0]

Quote

what's the difference between a truckload of babies and a truckload of bowling balls?

you can't unload the bowling balls with a pitchfork.

How do you make a dead baby float?

Two scoops of ice cream and one dead baby.

never pull low......unless you are