Cornholio 0 #1 July 23, 2003 That other e-mail thread had me digging through my e-mail box to find this goodie. This is what I send to people (newbies) who send me chain letters. I encourage you to cut and paste it and send it to the people who constantly send you chain letters and you want then to stop. Trust me - it really works. ---------- Hello, my name is Basmati Kasaar. I am suffering from rare and deadly diseases, poor scores on final exams, extreme virginity, fear of being kidnapped and executed by anal electrocution, and guilt for not forwarding out 50 billion fucking chain letters sent to me by people who actually believe that if you send them on, then that poor 6-year-old girl in Arkansas with a breast on her forehead will be able to raise enough money to have it removed before her redneck parents sell her off to the travelling freak show. Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you and everyone you send "his" email to $1000? How stupid are you? "Ooooh, looky-here! If I scroll down this page and make a wish, I'll get laid by every Playboy model in the magazine!". What a bunch of bullshit. So basically, this message is a big FUCK YOU to all the people out there who have nothing better to do than to send me stupid chain mail forwards. Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my apartment and sodomize me in my sleep for not continuing the chain which was started by the Romans in 5 A.D. and was brought to this country by midget pilgrims on the Mayflower and if it makes it to the year 2000, it'll be in the Guinness Book of World Records for longest continuous streak of blatant stupidity. If you're going to forward something, at least send me something mildly amusing. I've seen all the "send this to 50 of your closest friends, and this poor, wretched excuse for a human being will somehow receive a nickel from some omniscient being" forwards about 90 times. I don't care. Show a little intelligence and think about what you're actually contributing to by sending out forwards. Chances are it's your own unpopularity. The point being? If you get some chain letter that's threatening to leave you shagless or luckless for the rest of your life, delete it. If it's funny, send it on. Don't piss people off by making them feel guilty about a leper in Botswana with no teeth, who's been tied to a dead elephant for 27 years, whose only savior is the 5 cents per letter he'll receive if you forward this mail, otherwise you'll end up like Miranda. Right? Now forward this to everyone you know. Otherwise, tomorrow morning your underwear will turn carnivorous and will consume your genitals. Butthead: Whoa! Burritos for breakfast! Beavis: Yeah! Yeah! Cool! bellyflier on the dz.com hybrid record jump Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cornholio 0 #2 July 23, 2003 And if you still don't believe that by not sending out chain letters you will be killed, sodomized, or file for bankruptcy - this letter is for you. Just file it into your mailbox and save it. You will not be harmed. -------- This letter serves to protect you from any malicious wishes that may result from not forwarding a chain letter on the Internet. The following protections have automatically been applied to you because you have received this letter. If you have not receieved this letter, please put your head between your knees and say "Duh!" 6 times aloud. This letter hereby absolves you of any and all malicious consequences you have been subject to by receiving a chain letter via the Internet. By receiving this letter, you are bound to not send out any chain mail to anyone you know. Chain mail is evil and pointless. Please consider the following examples: Barry White received this mailing sometime in 1946 (albeit before the Internet was in existence...but whatever), and he forwarded out a malicious chain letter to everyone in his addressbook. A week later, he was visited by a group of lesbian eskimo worshipers who beat him endlessly with uncooked lasagna noodles. Gertrude Gartholemeu received this letter and ignored it. After sending a chain letter to three of her friends, she was found mutilated by Jehovah's Witnesses because they were angry that she didn't follow their ways and beliefs. Don't let this happen to you. This message will protect you throughout your natural life and is unlimited in scope. Its protective powers will never expire nor become ineffective against any chain letter or clauses held within. Butthead: Whoa! Burritos for breakfast! Beavis: Yeah! Yeah! Cool! bellyflier on the dz.com hybrid record jump Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
crapflinger2000 1 #3 July 23, 2003 You are angry __________________________________________________ What would Vic Mackey do? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Girlfalldown 0 #4 July 23, 2003 Thank you so much for that! I get at least 1 please forward this stupid-ass email to everyone on your list every day. I can't wait til tomorrow... -------------- (Do not, I repeat DO NOT, take my posts seriously.) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Blahr 0 #5 July 23, 2003 I think this is the funniest freakin thing I've read in months. One of my many hats is e-mail administrator and damn do I see a ton and a half of that crap every day. This is a keeper Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MochaSkyChick 0 #6 July 24, 2003 ROTFL - That was priceless PMS #62 Zarza R[red Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
