Deuce 1 #1 July 25, 2003 I know one other couple who's made it work as long as me and the fair Corinne. Skydivers, too. My parents didn't, my sisters (3) didn't, and recently my in-laws have hit the skids after about a zillion years. But just because it doesn't always work, is that a fair reason to condemn it? Maybe. But I fed my girls tonight, and their Mom is working late doing her Executive Secretary thing, and she'll be home after they're asleep. I'll probably be reading after giving the girls a bath, and they will definitely be asleep. (They're watching Tom and Jerry now) We've been doing this for about 20 years. (7 with kids). It's OK. I've been a bunch of different things (PLC Candidate, office pogue, Deputy, Cop, Bureaucrat, fat guy, fit guy) and so has she. It's OK. It's hard. Don't fear it. You can do it. With some luck and a lot of very hard work. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites BlueEyedMonster 0 #2 July 25, 2003 Excellent! I commend you. However its just not for some people. Me personally--I totally fear consummating the marriage. I don't think I could handle that. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites lewmonst 0 #3 July 25, 2003 Rock on Duece! I still believe. peace, spread the love lewhttp://www.exitshot.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites SkymonkeyONE 4 #4 July 25, 2003 I absolutely don't condemn the institution, even after two incredibly bad experiences. I could stay a bitter person, but that would be counterproductive. I am not sucking in my current relationship, so why would I arbitrarily say "no more marriage?" Chuck Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Deuce 1 #5 July 25, 2003 QuoteI still believe. That is pretty much all two people have to do. Loveandhappiness. JP Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites CrazyIvan 0 #6 July 25, 2003 I wanted to get married, long time ago, but, not anymore, nowadays marriage is more like a business, money is the main concern, not feelings, to me is totally riculous scenes like this: Joe: I love you Jane...with all my heart Jane: I love you too Joe: LET'S GET MARRIED!!! Jane: OK!!! Joe: Excellent, call your lawyer to get the PRE-NUP ready Jane: you got it. Call me old fashion, but, where is the TRUST and real love?. sorry, I don't believe anymore, besides, you don't need to get married to be happy.__________________________________________ Blue Skies and May the Force be with you. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites sunshine 2 #7 July 25, 2003 QuoteWith some luck and a lot of very hard work. Awesome for you. The fact that you know it takes work is respectable. Me personally, i don't think i'm marriage material. Tried it once, and i'm not in any hurry to try it again. My sister has been married 10 years i think, and has 2 kids. She's like the happiest person i know. So if the 2 people are right for each other and really love each other, then it can work. ___________________________________________ meow I get a Mike hug! I get a Mike hug! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Unstable 9 #8 July 25, 2003 It seems to me like the people who fear marriage simply arn't ready yet - maybe they need a little more time to mature. Deuce - i commend you - keep up the good work - sounds like you have a very luckey wife..... Blue Skies,=========Shaun ========== Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites wmw999 2,589 #9 July 25, 2003 Marriage is a decision, one that takes making again and again. The magic is that when it works, it's magic, because two people decide, again and again, that the decision is worth making. What could be cooler. Wendy W.There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Jessica 0 #10 July 25, 2003 Off-topic for the thread, but Wendy, I really want to meet you one of these days. Everything you post makes me nod in suprised agreement.Skydiving is for cool people only Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites sunshine 2 #11 July 25, 2003 QuoteOff-topic for the thread, but Wendy, I really want to meet you one of these days. Everything you post makes me nod in suprised agreement. Wendy frickin rocks. I'm lucky that i got to meet her in eloy and spend time with her. Perhaps we should have a Wendy Boogie sometime.... ___________________________________________ meow I get a Mike hug! I get a Mike hug! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites LouDiamond 1 #12 July 25, 2003 Well DUH, what did you expect? She's a rocket scientist after all"It's just skydiving..additional drama is not required" Some people dream about flying, I live my dream SKYMONKEY PUBLISHING Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites VanillaSkyGirl 6 #13 July 25, 2003 Marriage is a decision, one that takes making again and again. The magic is that when it works, it's magic, because two people decide, again and again, that the decision is worth making. What could be cooler. Amen, Wendy! You have such a good heart. As a child and teenager, I did not know anyone whose parents were divorced or unhappily married. Over the years, I have met a little bit of everything. Sadly, divorce was beginning to look commonplace. It's nice to know that there are loving couples like Duece and his wife who understand each other and what love and commitment is really all about. Edited to add: I secretly admire Wendy, too! A "Wendy Boogie" sounds great! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites wmw999 2,589 #14 July 25, 2003 Um. Thanks. Now back to marriage. Wendy W.There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Deuce 1 #15 July 25, 2003 Wendy is an onion without a middle. You keep peeling her back and there's always more. I was so sorry to have missed you at Perris. I hope you pull a rabbit out of a hat and make it to Eloy. Me you and Ben were the only ones out of what, 50 , who made contact in some of those funnels? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Blahr 0 #16 July 25, 2003 QuoteI wanted to get married, long time ago, but, not anymore, nowadays marriage is more like a business, money is the main concern, not feelings, to me is totally riculous scenes like this: Joe: I love you Jane...with all my heart Jane: I love you too Joe: LET'S GET MARRIED!!! Jane: OK!!! Joe: Excellent, call your lawyer to get the PRE-NUP ready Jane: you got it. Call me old fashion, but, where is the TRUST and real love?. sorry, I don't believe anymore, besides, you don't need to get married to be happy. Marriage is what the two people make it man :-) If you want it to be about money, its about money. If you want it to be about love, its about love. The world doesnt decide for you what your marriage is about, you decide for yourself :-) So, your argument is crazy Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites racer42 0 #17 July 25, 2003 Such wisdom. Thanks Wendy. It was 16 years for us in May. Two incredible daughters,one mortgage,2 cars, a cat, one black lab, a hermit crab, 142 jumps (one broken leg), yeah problems here and there. Ya gotta look em in straight in the eyes at the "I Do " part and then just keep making the decision. Life is good. Let's all go skydive somewhere tommorrowL.A.S.T. #24 Co-Founder Biscuit Brothers Freefly Team Electric Toaster #3 Co-Founder Team Non Sequitor Co-Founder Team Happy Sock Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Tonto 1 #18 July 25, 2003 In Post apartheid South Africa, 70% of marraiges end in divorce in the 1st 5 years. Mine was one of these. These are "perfect" stats, as every marraige is recorded, and can only be undone in the High court - also recorded. Now in 18 years of skydiving, I bust an ankle (jump 10) and femured myself (jump 159) The other 3903 dives have been pretty uneventful. If someone said 70% of skydives resulted in death or injury in the 1st 5 years... I'd probably not have done my 1st jump course... Wendy said it. It's an every day thing, and I think it's more about being the right person than finding the right person. As for getting married again, I'm scared shitless. Can't fail if you don't try, right? But what if you meet that person you really feel you could try with, dispite your fear? tIt's the year of the Pig. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites freeflir29 0 #19 July 25, 2003 QuoteWith some luck and a lot of very hard work. But why put in the effort for a worthless slut? Get the milk from the cow while you can!!!!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites bluefingers 0 #20 July 25, 2003 what does "post-apartheid" have to do with it? I've never been married, never wanted to get married, ever, but my way of thinking is changing ... rapidly. Maybe I'm growing up? Kerry Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Tonto 1 #21 July 25, 2003 "what does "post-apartheid" have to do with it? " In the 2 years from 1992 to 1994 - During the term of the interim goverment (power-sharing) prior to SA's 1st democratic election, the divorce rate increased by 15%. Initial reasons were thought to be families torn between staying or imigrating to the prefered political climes of Australia, Canada, the UK, etc, but the divorce rate has remained consistantly high at +70% in the first 5 years. A further 50% colapse prior to 15 years. The high crime rate, rapid political and ecconomic change, among other factors increase stress and uncertainty in our daily lives. We're more likely to turn that stress against our partner than to support them through it. So. If 70% of marraiges end in divorce in the 1st 5 years - How many people die - stay married "for the sake of the kids - are not financially independant enough - or emotionally dependant enough to go it alone? What % of happily married people are out there? Men tend to be happy. The women they marry are not. Over 80% of divorces are initiated by women. Deuce and Wendy have said it - in different ways. It's being happy with what you've got - not what you want. Everyone is going to go through good patches, and bad patches. It's commiting to the future - no matter what - every day - that makes the difference between the do'ers and the talkers. tIt's the year of the Pig. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Tonto 1 #22 July 25, 2003 "Marriage is what the two people make it man :-) " No, not really. Marraige is what one person makes it. It takes only one to break it - but 2 to keep it together. tIt's the year of the Pig. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites bluefingers 0 #23 July 25, 2003 Thanks Tonto, that's very interesting and food for thought. Kerry Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites txblondie 0 #24 July 25, 2003 Marriage phobia comes from the high divorce rate, the fear of broken hearts, and the fear of the legal battle if and when it ends. The problem is, the divorce rate is so high now because few people go into marriage with the idea of "for better or for worse". Far more people go into marriage with the "there's always divorce" idea, and so they don't try to make it work, and a lot of people get married without being mature enough to do so. I personally believe in marriage; my parents and their best friends both just celebrated 26 years, my aunt and uncle just celebrated 33, and I know some older couples who are somewhere between 40 and 50 years running. The idea is that it's possible, and it doesn't have to be hard to stay together, if you're willing to accept that there will be times when it's not easy. Deuce, I commend you, and I'm sure your wife is very happy, as are you. Keep going strong, and good luck with what the future holds! ***************************************** Blondes do have more fun! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites BadDog 0 #25 July 25, 2003 Getting married is simply agreeing to be legally bound by the terms and conditions that the legal system places on your relationship and the termination of that relationship. Since I don't think that my relationships are any of the legal system's business (meaning any business of the judges and lawyers), I refuse to submit to their jurisdiction and refuse to be bound by their rules by refusing to marry. Even if I agreed with the current laws (which, as you might gather, I DO NOT), there's no guarantee that some bozos won't change the rules later on. No thanks. I don't disagree with many of the comments as they relate to relationships per se (trust, money, love, etc.) but they have nothing to do with marriage per se. 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BlueEyedMonster 0 #2 July 25, 2003 Excellent! I commend you. However its just not for some people. Me personally--I totally fear consummating the marriage. I don't think I could handle that. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lewmonst 0 #3 July 25, 2003 Rock on Duece! I still believe. peace, spread the love lewhttp://www.exitshot.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SkymonkeyONE 4 #4 July 25, 2003 I absolutely don't condemn the institution, even after two incredibly bad experiences. I could stay a bitter person, but that would be counterproductive. I am not sucking in my current relationship, so why would I arbitrarily say "no more marriage?" Chuck Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Deuce 1 #5 July 25, 2003 QuoteI still believe. That is pretty much all two people have to do. Loveandhappiness. JP Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CrazyIvan 0 #6 July 25, 2003 I wanted to get married, long time ago, but, not anymore, nowadays marriage is more like a business, money is the main concern, not feelings, to me is totally riculous scenes like this: Joe: I love you Jane...with all my heart Jane: I love you too Joe: LET'S GET MARRIED!!! Jane: OK!!! Joe: Excellent, call your lawyer to get the PRE-NUP ready Jane: you got it. Call me old fashion, but, where is the TRUST and real love?. sorry, I don't believe anymore, besides, you don't need to get married to be happy.__________________________________________ Blue Skies and May the Force be with you. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sunshine 2 #7 July 25, 2003 QuoteWith some luck and a lot of very hard work. Awesome for you. The fact that you know it takes work is respectable. Me personally, i don't think i'm marriage material. Tried it once, and i'm not in any hurry to try it again. My sister has been married 10 years i think, and has 2 kids. She's like the happiest person i know. So if the 2 people are right for each other and really love each other, then it can work. ___________________________________________ meow I get a Mike hug! I get a Mike hug! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Unstable 9 #8 July 25, 2003 It seems to me like the people who fear marriage simply arn't ready yet - maybe they need a little more time to mature. Deuce - i commend you - keep up the good work - sounds like you have a very luckey wife..... Blue Skies,=========Shaun ========== Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wmw999 2,589 #9 July 25, 2003 Marriage is a decision, one that takes making again and again. The magic is that when it works, it's magic, because two people decide, again and again, that the decision is worth making. What could be cooler. Wendy W.There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jessica 0 #10 July 25, 2003 Off-topic for the thread, but Wendy, I really want to meet you one of these days. Everything you post makes me nod in suprised agreement.Skydiving is for cool people only Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sunshine 2 #11 July 25, 2003 QuoteOff-topic for the thread, but Wendy, I really want to meet you one of these days. Everything you post makes me nod in suprised agreement. Wendy frickin rocks. I'm lucky that i got to meet her in eloy and spend time with her. Perhaps we should have a Wendy Boogie sometime.... ___________________________________________ meow I get a Mike hug! I get a Mike hug! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LouDiamond 1 #12 July 25, 2003 Well DUH, what did you expect? She's a rocket scientist after all"It's just skydiving..additional drama is not required" Some people dream about flying, I live my dream SKYMONKEY PUBLISHING Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
VanillaSkyGirl 6 #13 July 25, 2003 Marriage is a decision, one that takes making again and again. The magic is that when it works, it's magic, because two people decide, again and again, that the decision is worth making. What could be cooler. Amen, Wendy! You have such a good heart. As a child and teenager, I did not know anyone whose parents were divorced or unhappily married. Over the years, I have met a little bit of everything. Sadly, divorce was beginning to look commonplace. It's nice to know that there are loving couples like Duece and his wife who understand each other and what love and commitment is really all about. Edited to add: I secretly admire Wendy, too! A "Wendy Boogie" sounds great! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wmw999 2,589 #14 July 25, 2003 Um. Thanks. Now back to marriage. Wendy W.There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Deuce 1 #15 July 25, 2003 Wendy is an onion without a middle. You keep peeling her back and there's always more. I was so sorry to have missed you at Perris. I hope you pull a rabbit out of a hat and make it to Eloy. Me you and Ben were the only ones out of what, 50 , who made contact in some of those funnels? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Blahr 0 #16 July 25, 2003 QuoteI wanted to get married, long time ago, but, not anymore, nowadays marriage is more like a business, money is the main concern, not feelings, to me is totally riculous scenes like this: Joe: I love you Jane...with all my heart Jane: I love you too Joe: LET'S GET MARRIED!!! Jane: OK!!! Joe: Excellent, call your lawyer to get the PRE-NUP ready Jane: you got it. Call me old fashion, but, where is the TRUST and real love?. sorry, I don't believe anymore, besides, you don't need to get married to be happy. Marriage is what the two people make it man :-) If you want it to be about money, its about money. If you want it to be about love, its about love. The world doesnt decide for you what your marriage is about, you decide for yourself :-) So, your argument is crazy Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
racer42 0 #17 July 25, 2003 Such wisdom. Thanks Wendy. It was 16 years for us in May. Two incredible daughters,one mortgage,2 cars, a cat, one black lab, a hermit crab, 142 jumps (one broken leg), yeah problems here and there. Ya gotta look em in straight in the eyes at the "I Do " part and then just keep making the decision. Life is good. Let's all go skydive somewhere tommorrowL.A.S.T. #24 Co-Founder Biscuit Brothers Freefly Team Electric Toaster #3 Co-Founder Team Non Sequitor Co-Founder Team Happy Sock Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tonto 1 #18 July 25, 2003 In Post apartheid South Africa, 70% of marraiges end in divorce in the 1st 5 years. Mine was one of these. These are "perfect" stats, as every marraige is recorded, and can only be undone in the High court - also recorded. Now in 18 years of skydiving, I bust an ankle (jump 10) and femured myself (jump 159) The other 3903 dives have been pretty uneventful. If someone said 70% of skydives resulted in death or injury in the 1st 5 years... I'd probably not have done my 1st jump course... Wendy said it. It's an every day thing, and I think it's more about being the right person than finding the right person. As for getting married again, I'm scared shitless. Can't fail if you don't try, right? But what if you meet that person you really feel you could try with, dispite your fear? tIt's the year of the Pig. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freeflir29 0 #19 July 25, 2003 QuoteWith some luck and a lot of very hard work. But why put in the effort for a worthless slut? Get the milk from the cow while you can!!!!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bluefingers 0 #20 July 25, 2003 what does "post-apartheid" have to do with it? I've never been married, never wanted to get married, ever, but my way of thinking is changing ... rapidly. Maybe I'm growing up? Kerry Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tonto 1 #21 July 25, 2003 "what does "post-apartheid" have to do with it? " In the 2 years from 1992 to 1994 - During the term of the interim goverment (power-sharing) prior to SA's 1st democratic election, the divorce rate increased by 15%. Initial reasons were thought to be families torn between staying or imigrating to the prefered political climes of Australia, Canada, the UK, etc, but the divorce rate has remained consistantly high at +70% in the first 5 years. A further 50% colapse prior to 15 years. The high crime rate, rapid political and ecconomic change, among other factors increase stress and uncertainty in our daily lives. We're more likely to turn that stress against our partner than to support them through it. So. If 70% of marraiges end in divorce in the 1st 5 years - How many people die - stay married "for the sake of the kids - are not financially independant enough - or emotionally dependant enough to go it alone? What % of happily married people are out there? Men tend to be happy. The women they marry are not. Over 80% of divorces are initiated by women. Deuce and Wendy have said it - in different ways. It's being happy with what you've got - not what you want. Everyone is going to go through good patches, and bad patches. It's commiting to the future - no matter what - every day - that makes the difference between the do'ers and the talkers. tIt's the year of the Pig. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tonto 1 #22 July 25, 2003 "Marriage is what the two people make it man :-) " No, not really. Marraige is what one person makes it. It takes only one to break it - but 2 to keep it together. tIt's the year of the Pig. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bluefingers 0 #23 July 25, 2003 Thanks Tonto, that's very interesting and food for thought. Kerry Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
txblondie 0 #24 July 25, 2003 Marriage phobia comes from the high divorce rate, the fear of broken hearts, and the fear of the legal battle if and when it ends. The problem is, the divorce rate is so high now because few people go into marriage with the idea of "for better or for worse". Far more people go into marriage with the "there's always divorce" idea, and so they don't try to make it work, and a lot of people get married without being mature enough to do so. I personally believe in marriage; my parents and their best friends both just celebrated 26 years, my aunt and uncle just celebrated 33, and I know some older couples who are somewhere between 40 and 50 years running. The idea is that it's possible, and it doesn't have to be hard to stay together, if you're willing to accept that there will be times when it's not easy. Deuce, I commend you, and I'm sure your wife is very happy, as are you. Keep going strong, and good luck with what the future holds! ***************************************** Blondes do have more fun! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BadDog 0 #25 July 25, 2003 Getting married is simply agreeing to be legally bound by the terms and conditions that the legal system places on your relationship and the termination of that relationship. Since I don't think that my relationships are any of the legal system's business (meaning any business of the judges and lawyers), I refuse to submit to their jurisdiction and refuse to be bound by their rules by refusing to marry. Even if I agreed with the current laws (which, as you might gather, I DO NOT), there's no guarantee that some bozos won't change the rules later on. No thanks. I don't disagree with many of the comments as they relate to relationships per se (trust, money, love, etc.) but they have nothing to do with marriage per se. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
