Casie 0 #1 July 30, 2003 A typical macho man married a typical good-looking babe. After the wedding, he laid down the following rules: "I'll be home when I want and if I want - and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you that I won't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing when I want, with my old buddies, so don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any comments?" His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex here at seven o'clock every night . . .whether you're home or not." UH OH!~Porn Kitty WARNING: Goldschlager causes extreme emotional outbursts! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Casie 0 #2 July 30, 2003 A husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary. The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads, 'Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever.'" "Yeah?" she replies. "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads, 'Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At Last.'" HE ASKED FOR IT!~Porn Kitty WARNING: Goldschlager causes extreme emotional outbursts! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 226 #3 July 30, 2003 A back woods couple gets married and are riding down the road in their horse drawn cart. Suddenly the Horse stops for no reason and starts to graze on the side of the road. The Husband jumps off the cart and looks the horse strait in the eye and says "That's ONE!" the wife just looked at him, puzzled. So off they went. Again the horse stopped, again the man got off the cart. This time he wound up and Punched the horse strait in the mouth as hard as he could. The horse staggered back and shook his head. The woman just sat there, puzzled. So off they went. Well you can guess what happened... This time the man slowly walked over to the horse pulled out his gun and shot him right between the eyes. Screaming the woman jumped up and said "What the hell do you think you are doing? That was our only horse!" The man slowly turned to her and said, "That's One!"I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Casie 0 #4 July 30, 2003 A husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table. The husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you're no good in bed either!" and storms out of the house. After sometime he realizes he's been nasty, decides to make amends and rings her up. She comes to the phone after many rings and the irritated husband says, "What took you so long to answer the phone?" She says, "I was in bed." "In bed this early, doing what?" "Getting a second opinion!" YUP, HE HAD THAT COMING, TOO!~Porn Kitty WARNING: Goldschlager causes extreme emotional outbursts! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DYEVOUT 0 #5 July 30, 2003 Q What's 40 feet long and smells like urine? A Line dancing at the nursing home. Q What's the difference between a poodle humping your leg and a pitbull humping your leg? A You let the pitbull finish. Q What do you call a blonde in the closet? A The 1984 Hide-and-Go-Seek champion. Q What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline? A You take your cleats off before jumping on the trampoline. One for Casie - Q What has two legs and bleeds profusely? A Half a cat. . . . and one for JT - Q Why don't Italians like Jehovah's Witnesses? A Because Italians don't like any witnesses. ----------------=8^)---------------------- "I think that was the wrong tennis court." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Casie 0 #6 July 30, 2003 LMAO! Thanx!~Porn Kitty WARNING: Goldschlager causes extreme emotional outbursts! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Casie 0 #7 July 30, 2003 A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife, "Mother of Six" in spite of her objections. One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it's time to go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home 'Mother of six?'" His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion shouts right back, "Anytime you're ready, 'Father of Four.'" RIGHT ON, LADY!~Porn Kitty WARNING: Goldschlager causes extreme emotional outbursts! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DYEVOUT 0 #8 July 30, 2003 Q - Did you hear about the woman who confused her Valium with her birth control pills? A - She had 14 kids, but she doesn't really care. ----------------=8^)---------------------- "I think that was the wrong tennis court." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Luv2Fall 0 #9 July 30, 2003 Why do men normally die before their wives? Because they want to. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jtval 0 #10 July 30, 2003 HEY...who told you? It wasn't me, I didnt do it!My photos My Videos Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jtval 0 #11 July 30, 2003 actually when jehovas witness' Identify themselves I love to tell them that I never even knew there was an accident! LOLMy photos My Videos Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Casie 0 #12 July 30, 2003 A blonde enters a store that sells curtains. She tells the salesman: "I would like to buy a pink curtain in the size of my computer screen." The surprised salesman replies: "But, madam, computers do not have curtains!!!" ....And the blonde said: "Helloooo....? I've got Windows"!!!~Porn Kitty WARNING: Goldschlager causes extreme emotional outbursts! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
