vanillasky11 0 #1 August 7, 2003 A beautiful young lady goes to her local pet store in search of an exotic pet. She spots a box full of frogs. The sign says: "Sex Frogs...Only $20 each! Money Back Guarantee! The girl excitedly looks around to see if anybody's watching her and whispers softly to the man behind the counter, "I'll take one." As soon as she closes the door to her apartment, she reads the instructions carefully: 1. Take a shower 2. Splash on some nice smelling perfume 3. Slip into a very sexy teddy 4. Crawl into bed and place the frog on the bed Following the instructions exactly, she quickly gets into bed with the frog. Nothing happens. The girl is totally frustrated and quite upset. She rereads the instructions and notices at the bottom of the paper, "If you have any problems or questions, please call the pet store." She calls and is told by the salesman, "I had some complaints earlier today. I'll be right over." Within five minutes he is ringing her doorbell and is welcomed in. "See, I've done everything according to the instructions and the damn thing just sits there." He picks up the frog, stares directly into its eyes. "Listen to me froggy. I'm only going to show you how to do this one more time." "You haven't seen a tree until you've seen its shadow from the sky." -- Amelia Earhart Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jtval 0 #2 August 7, 2003 wanna buy a frog?My photos My Videos Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 226 #3 August 7, 2003 Deep within a forest a little turtle began to climb a tree. After hours of effort he reached the top, jumped into the air waving his front legs and crashed to the ground. After recovering, he slowly climbed the tree again, jumped, and fell to the ground. The turtle tried again and again while a couple of birds sitting on a branch watched his sad efforts. Finally, the female bird turned to her mate. "Dear," she chirped, "I think it's time to tell him he's adopted."I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lawrocket 3 #4 August 7, 2003 A wealthy and attractive lady goes out shopping one day. Upon return to her sprawling estate, she instrcuts her chauffeur to bring her bags inside. She directs him to the back of a room and when he drops the bags, she closes the door behind her and gives him a look he'd never seen before. "Bill, please pull off my shoes." So he pulls of her shoes. "Bill, would you take down my hose?" He takes down her hose. "Bill, would you take off my dres?" He quickly complies. "Bill, unhook my bra." He unhooks her bra. "Bill, please remove my panties." Bill removes her panties. "Bill, if I EVER catch you wearing my clothes again, you're fired!" My wife is hotter than your wife. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Casie 0 #5 August 7, 2003 Subject: Blanket A man and a woman, who have never met before, find themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train. Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, the two are tired and fall asleep quickly -- he in the upper bunk and she in the lower. At 2:00 AM, he leans over and gently wakes the woman saying, "Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold." "I have a better idea," she replies.. "Just for tonight, let's > >pretend that we're married." "Wow! That's a great idea!!" he exclaims. "Good," she replies. "Get your own damn blanket."~Porn Kitty WARNING: Goldschlager causes extreme emotional outbursts! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Casie 0 #6 August 7, 2003 Rodeo Bulls A man took his wife to the Rodeo and one of the exhibits is that of breeding bulls. They went up to the first pen and there was a sign that said, "This bull mated 50 times last year." The wife poked her husband in the ribs and said, "He mated 50 times last year." They walked a little further and saw another pen with a sign that said, "This bull mated 120 times last year." The wife hit her husband and said, "That's more than twice a week! You could learn a lot from him." They walked further and a third pen had a bull with a sign saying, "This bull mated 365 times last year." The wife got really excited and said, "That's once a day. You could REALLY learn something from this one." The husband looked at her and said, "Go up and ask him if it was with the same cow." The husband's condition has been reduced from critical to stable and he should make a full recovery.~Porn Kitty WARNING: Goldschlager causes extreme emotional outbursts! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sebazz1 2 #7 August 7, 2003 It seems these two East Kentucky rednecks, Bubba and Cooter, decided they should go to the University of Kentucky so they could get ahead. Bubba went in first, and the professor advises him to take Math, History, and Logic. "What's Logic?" Bubba asked. "Well, let me give you an example," said the professor. "Do you own a weed-eater?" "Sure do," the redneck responded. "Okay. Then I assume, using logic, that you have a yard," the professor went on. "That's real good," said the redneck, in awe. "Logic also tells me that since you have a yard, you also have a house. Is that right?" "GAWL-LEE!" the redneck shouted. "And since you own a house and a house is tough to take care of by yourself, logic dictates that you have a wife. Right?" "Betty Mae! This is incredible!" Bubba is catching on now. "Finally, since you have a wife, logically I can assume you are heterosexual rather than homosexual. Is that right?" "You are absolutely right! Why that's the most fascinatin' thang I ever heerd of. I can't wait to take this here logic class!" Bubba, proud of the new world opening up to him, walks back into the hallway where Cooter is still waiting. "So what classes are ya takin'?" Cooter asks. "Math, History, and Logic," replied Bubba. "What in tarnation is logic?" asks Cooter. "Let me give you an example," Bubba says. "Do you own a weed-eater?" "No," says Cooter. "You're queer, aintcha?" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Amazon 7 #8 August 7, 2003 Kewl... from funny thread to homosexuals...next the homophobes will get on the thread and get it locked..... 50 ways to turn a thread into a butt thread Amazon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wlie 0 #9 August 7, 2003 In before the lockMy other ride is the relative wind. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 226 #10 August 7, 2003 Sebazz needs to learn how to be more sthenthitive.I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
leroydb 0 #11 August 7, 2003 IBTL . . . . .Leroy ..I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw my bath toys were a toaster and a radio... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Amazon 7 #12 August 7, 2003 ROFL.... Carefull I have only one nerve left.. and some of these people are getting on it Amazon oh yeah IBTL Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
n2skdvn 0 #13 August 7, 2003 jumpity jumpity jump!!!! edited to say im just being cute if my calculations are correct SLINKY + ESCULATOR = EVERLASTING FUN my site Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 226 #14 August 7, 2003 ..and another one down, and another one down, and another post gets the lock. Hey ... they're gonna get you too, and another post gets a lock...I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SpeedRacer 1 #15 August 8, 2003 Did you hear they've been giving Viagra to the old men in the nursing homes? It keeps them from rolling out of bed! Speed Racer -------------------------------------------------- Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Vertifly 0 #16 August 8, 2003 LMFAO... BWAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHHAHA!!!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
