Air Force MEPS a/k/a: From worst to best in twelve hours...

[BobB 0]

Warning: This is a long post (obviously)...which I don't actually expect anyone to read...I am just so impressed by how skydiving took me to a calm place when I felt so disproportionately out of place that I had to put it here. It's kind of personal stuff, but for some reason I don't feel any reservation at all posting it here.

I've been trying to get into the Air Force. Today I had a physical at MEPS. It didn't go well and I was pissed about it. What follows is basically a cut and paste from an email I sent my dad regarding the day's events. I'm only posting it here because it shows how effective skydiving was in turning my day completely around, despite all the little events which served to get me really worked up. I noticed a couple of Air Force related threads recently. If anyone has any experience with consults and how much of a hassle it is to get a waiver I would appreciate any info.

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I was at MEPS for the physical today. It didn't last as long as I thought it would. I was done at about 11:30 or 12:00.

Blood pressure was good (127/78 @ 72bpm). I was quite shocked when she wrote the numbers down. Maybe it's the running/exercise I've been getting that's lowered it (I used to routinely see numbers around 135/85 @ 83). I'm sure the fact that I've slacked back on alcohol helped, too (more on THAT later).

They administered a breathalyzer test for alcohol (I guess it's an issue if they have to test for it? I'm a little surprised though). I passed that one...no surprises.

Let's see, then it was the hearing test....good.

I had blood drawn. I submitted a urinalysis specimen (or, as another candidate eloquently put it, I took the "whiz quiz"). I had my eyes checked (depth perception, color vision and acuity). There was an "ortho" section where doctors looked at you walking, made you stand on one leg while rotating the opposite ankle in space, measured height/weight, made you walk in funny ways to check for abnormalities, etc. (I thought maybe they just do it for laughs...but I guess there's a medical purpose).

Then there was the one that I KNEW I would get busted on...physician's exam. For some reason, over the past week (naturally right before a physical), I've had three or four sebaceous "big pimple things" appear on my face. He asked if that was a regular thing...I told him no. He saw the scars on my chest (from acne). So, I get a dermatologist's consult for acne...go figure...I half expected a consult with a beautician -- and thoughts of "only Brad Pitt need apply to the military" being a disclaimer on military recruiting materials.

He noted that I had some "abnormal heart sounds" while listening under stethoscope. He wrote it down as a "galloping pulse" or something like that. BAM....cardio consult needed, too. GREAT...kiss that Sep. 2nd board date goodbye. The next one's not until December and I MIGHT make that one if the consult scheduling and surgeon general waiver work out. I'm really getting pissed now as my timed plan for joining the military has been de-railed!!

During the physician's exam, the doctor stopped once to look at a medical dictionary or something (looked like those little New Testament things handed out at schools and such). I kind of chuckled inside...thinking "Wow, he's actually got to look my issues up...must be interesting." THEN, I kid you not, he actually said "Excuse me one minute..." he walks out of the exam room and returns a couple of minutes later with this HUGE freakin' book and starts looking at the index. By now I'm absolutely about to laugh out loud. I said something to the effect of "kind of makes me nervous when doctors have to get big books" ... NO RESPONSE (more chuckling inside...as I sense my day has turned to crap).

Driving home, I don't remember much. I knew I was angry but tried not to let it affect my driving (okay, once I nailed it on the 440-40 interchange and in Fayetteville I gagged it once downtown). I tried really hard to repeat to myself that 1) the doctor is not "out to get me" and, 2) there is a reason he had "M.D." beside his name...he was doing his job. I was still angry, but I made sure not to direct that anger at any person (doctor, e.g.)...I was angry with the turn of events, with something I had no control of.

At some point on the drive home I came out of the "stupor" that I was driving in and realized that I wanted TWO things. ONE: to get home; and, TWO: to go immediately to the drop zone without passing GO or collecting $200 (and CERTAINLY without even thinking about going to WORK....NO FREAKIN' WAY)...just getting to that drop zone is all I could think about. I started to feel better immediately...somehow I figured that jumping out of a plane would suck the negative energy right out of me.

So I drop my bag and the car off at home, jump on the motorcycle and head for the DZ. I get there and 1) the weather is jumpable; 2) there are people out there so jumping is totally doable!! Not only that, Chuck Blue is back from Rantoul, IL!! I have read about some serious jumping which took place, including C-130's, biplanes, helos, baloons...as well as raft dives and I even heard there were some inflatable alligator dives too.

When I first got to the drop zone the Golden Knights were there...doing jumps out of their Porter and Super Otter (I think it was a Super-O?).

I was standing near manifest. I'm standing there watching the Golden Knights under canopy. Mind you, I'm well behind the "beer line" .. in fact, I'm favoring the packing area and I'm not but about halfway to the "swoop lane."

Apparently, I had some sort of shirt on that said "SWOOP LANE" on it in invisible writing, because...here they come...high speed approaches...right toward ME!!!

I'm second guessing my choice of observation position at this time and begin back stepping slowly....I look to my right and see a GK swooping toward me...he says "Don't move" in a calm fashion. So I stop and stand still.

SWOOOOOOOOOOSHHHHHHH....one guy flies by right behind me, another swoops in front of me, and then another right behind me...it was GREAT!!!

Anyway, so Chuck is back and there are two girls there doing tandem jumps as well as another jumper out there just getting some jumps in (this means there are jump runs going and I can actually jump!). So there I am...doing the thing I was dreaming of doing just a couple of hours before in hopes that it would "suck the bad day out." I gave some spotting commands to the pilot on jump run at about 5000 feet (right 5 degrees....right 5 degrees....oh yeah!!!...the pilot actually yawed the aircraft in direct response to my commands! - Firs..er..initial experience moving the plane with hand gestures to the pilot)...I climbed out onto the step of the Cessna 182, stepped into the relative wind and arched...good stability...good pull and I'm under canopy...floating around...actually saying out loud "I'm so glad I'm not at work right now."

I made another 5000 foot or so dive a little later. I made the mistake of mentioning to Ryan (the pilot) and another jumper that today was the FIRST time I had jumped out of a Cessna 182. I immediately knew my mistake when I heard "BEEEEERRRR." So I rode off and got beer for the group and enjoyed one while still at the drop zone.

So, here I am, after I told myself that I would drink some beer after the physical...and I'm doing so. I'm glad I didn't send you this email before I went skydiving today...you would have seen a LOT of adjectives in the form of *&#%&% and *&*#&%%....I was SOOOOOOO angry. But, I was right....jumping sucked every bit of negativity out....and filled the void with serenity and satisfaction.

I just had what I consider to be one of the best days ever. It would not have been possible without skydiving. Now that I know how profound an effect it can have on things, I appreciate it even more.

Yes, I know it is snowing.
No, we are not putting the top up.

[AggieDave 6]

MEPS blows. Don't worry about it.

When I went (when I was picking up my PLC contract), I was in great shape (it was before I blew up my knee and lost my contract). I weighed roughly 235-240lbs, but I was pretty lean, roughly 12% body fat (no, not super lean, but PLENTY lean enough for my pre-OCS ass). Well, after I weighed, they wanted to tape me (measure), so they did. The tape test they use is wildly innaccurate, and they put me down as somewhere around 17-18% bodyfat. I was trying to talk to the guy (an enlisted Army guy who was quite obviously not happy about being assigned to MEPS), telling him that I was professionally measured using the 9pt caliper system (which my Gunny at the OSO had asked me to go get done) and I told him what that had said. The enlisted guy told me "who cares, you're barely under the limit, but we need to take a pic of you with your shirt off so it can be included with your file." So there I stood with my (then) 50" chest, 18" arms and 18 1/2" neck PISSED about this...

Got back and told my Gunny about it and he said to me "FIDO, most of those guys hate their assignment, and especially don't care about the officer canidates that come through, you won't have a problem."


So the point of me telling you this is to say that you're not alone with a fucked up experience at MEPS and not to worry about it.

Sounds like you had a kick ass time at the DZ, though! I'm jealous, I went to the DZ today (even though we're not open on Tuesdays) to get some random work done, which I couldn't even do since the stuff I needed wasn't there. Atleast I answered the phones for a couple hours and was able to put a few tandems on the books tomorrow, 7 on the books for Thursday and a good handful on the books for this weekend.




(now, to get my tore up knee back in shape so I can pick my PLC contract back up...).

--"When I die, may I be surrounded by scattered chrome and burning gasoline."

[BobB 0]

Thanks for the input. Clearly, I agree that MEPS blows.

As for my DZ trip...it was, in fact, a trip of the kick-ass persuasion. Jumping with Brian from Kansas, watching a girl from England do a tandem jump...I can't get over it. I wish I could frame it...it was so awesome. It's all I think about now.

It's not the greatest read, but, today,

NO SHIT, THERE I WAS...having the time of my life....nothing else mattered...the way it's supposed to be.

Yes, I know it is snowing.
No, we are not putting the top up.

[freeflir29 0]

Yep......don't worry about it. When I went through the dumbass told me I had NO depth perception. Well....I am a pilot. I had taken SEVERAL FAA flight physicals before I went to MEPS in the previous years. So....I knew the guy was full of shit. I had a contract to be an aircraft mechanic so it didn't matter anyway. Fast forward 3 + years. I'm cross training into a "combat" career field. Of course.....I had to go get my medical fixed. Went in...still couldn't tell you witch circle is closer for a million bucks. Well...I told the doc I was a pilot and he brings out a book. The book...No PROBLEM!!! Did fine on the depth perception test. In fact....after that I had to take a flight physical EVERY year for the next 7. I would always walk in to the vision test and tell them I couldn't see the circles. Well....on my VERY last physical in the AF the guy says "Oh just try it..." I looked in the machine and like MAGIC I could see all the circles???? Don't know why I couldn't for the 10 years prior but....... Anyway....don't sweat it.....EVERYTHING is waiverable!!!!!!

[lawrocket 3]

Yeah, I've been through MEPS. I've had physicals in every form of military medical facility imaginable. Back when I was at the MEPS, I was pissed because I'd just had a physical a few months before at Fort Lewis. Then they want me to take another physical just because I was an officer now?

I got orders to report for a physical to MEPS. I was pissed. I knew my knee was messed up, and I didn't want to take another damned physical.

I complied with my orders. I reported at 0545 for a 0600 appointment. I got my orders signed off for being there. I was gone by 0610. I complied with my orders.

Interestingly enough, I never heard a damned thing about it. I figured I'd get in trouble, but nothgin came of it. I ended up having another Army physical at Ft. Eustis another 12 months later.

Too bad I didn't have anything fun to do after those physicals...

My wife is hotter than your wife.

[freeflir29 0]

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I was pissed because I'd just had a physical a few months before at Fort Lewis. Then they want me to take another physical just because I was an officer now?

HA!!! In my last 2 or 3 years in I had something like 5 or 6 flight physicals. For some reason the block on the form that says what it's for......has to say EXACTLY what it's for. Had my regular yearly flight physicals...then had one for HALO, "A training course" for which I had to be SPECIFICALLY cleared, and a specific one for Pilot training. The rediculous part was.....they were ALL the same damn physical. I just needed that one box on the form to say differen't things.... I also had to go take tests at mental health quite a few times to be cleared for certain "courses." I guess it makes the military nervous when you volunteer for certain training.

[AggieDave 6]

No, I bet they had just heard about you and your herd...

--"When I die, may I be surrounded by scattered chrome and burning gasoline."

[skycop 0]

Let's face it,
MEPS doctors are at the bottom of the food chain. No wonder they had to consult the "big books".
MEPS blows, I went through it over 20 years ago......some things never change!

"Just 'cause I'm simple, don't mean I'm stewpid!"

[BobB 0]

I didn't expect this much response (or any response for that matter..and certainly not this quickly).

It helps to know I'm not the only one who has had such issues.

Thanks.

Bob

Yes, I know it is snowing.
No, we are not putting the top up.

[Guest]

Heh.

At least they did you individually. When I went through, it was with a herd. No dignity or privacy at all.

"The mouse does not know life until it is in the mouth of the cat."

[lawrocket 3]

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I also had to go take tests at mental health quite a few times to be cleared for certain "courses."

You mean you had to take tests for mental health???

I can't believe it.

My wife is hotter than your wife.

[freeflir29 0]

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You mean you had to take tests for mental health???

Yep.....the even better part is I passed...and they said I had an "above average" IQ. Damn....I sure fooled them.... They were Army Docs though.....ya know how dumb they are.

[skycop 0]

I remember the herd, especially when we all had to turn around, bend over, and spread. At that point I had a couple of concerns............
And the doc who had to walk through and look, he must REALLY have needed a job.

"Just 'cause I'm simple, don't mean I'm stewpid!"

[Guest]

And wasn't that just the greatest fun?

I don't think it's that way anymore, at least not in 1989 when I was going for AF Reserves for C-5 Flight Engineer. Didn't qualify. Just as well, I laughed my ass off the next year. Guess why.

"The mouse does not know life until it is in the mouth of the cat."