AA

[jtval 0]

ok Im about to go to a meeting for a troop that i've been couseling for 6 months. he is finaaly ready to try to quit drinking.
(i havent tried to force him, Ive been pointing out things the way I see it in his addiction)

anyone got any experience with this? and seeing as this is my first troop I "MAY" have helped do I owe beer?


1- I know he will need alot of support (i think in the last 6 months he knows I will help him)

2- I know it will be fukn hard

3- I know his roommate and the supervisoers at work know abou this.

4- I know he MAY seem embarrassed abou t it for a little while.
I am gonna ask him for permission to brief our shop on it.or ask if he wants to address it.
he has a few freinds in the shop and I know they have an idea abou tthis but i dont think they know he IS trying..and is going to the classes.

5- I know their support is more important to him then mine is.

6- I know if I dont hit the post button I may be late! LOL
anything you think you can add to help me support my troop in this case?

I appreciate any serious comments ( i'll still laugh at the jokes, though)

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[Gawain 0]

Have your friend call an AA "office" (check the White Pages) and let him arrange to be picked up by someone to go to a meeting nearby.

To your points:
1- I know he will need alot of support (i think in the last 6 months he knows I will help him)
He'll get help if he asks for it.

2- I know it will be fukn hard
It's pretty simple. All one has to do is not drink. (don't confuse simpliciy with ease)

3- I know his roommate and the supervisoers at work know abou this.
Fine.

4- I know he MAY seem embarrassed abou t it for a little while. I am gonna ask him for permission to brief our shop on it.or ask if he wants to address it.
he has a few freinds in the shop and I know they have an idea abou tthis but i dont think they know he IS trying..and is going to the classes.
Leave it up to him, in fact, don't even ask him. This is his deal.

5- I know their support is more important to him then mine is.
He'll find all the support he wants, in and out of AA if he asks for it.

6- I know if I dont hit the post button I may be late! LOL
anything you think you can add to help me support my troop in this case?

So I try and I scream and I beg and I sigh
Just to prove I'm alive, and it's alright
'Cause tonight there's a way I'll make light of my treacherous life
Make light!

[LouDiamond 1]

Not entirely sure how the AF works it but I know that as a NCO you have taken the right steps to get your guy headed in the right direction. I do know that the Army's drug and alcohol abuse program is tiered and tracks the progress of the individual and helps them deal with the varied problems. Thats their job and I think it's best not to try and get into their business too much. I do think that your involvement as a NCO needs to be aimed at helping him avoid those pitfalls, which as we already know, menas one more thing to babysit someone on. I think keeping his environment(work) as free of those bad habits and the people he usually drank with in check so they don't contribute to making it harder is just basic looking after your troops. You might find yourself in a postion where you have to put pen to paper if this guy doesn't square himself away so try to help him out professionaly and personally but try to keep the line easily visable becasue once you cross it , it becomes harder to do the right thing sometimes. Ultimately, it's up to him. You have to ensure he does what's expected of him at work and in his personal life(drinking problem) and some times that is best solved with a kiwi injection

"It's just skydiving..additional drama is not required"
Some people dream about flying, I live my dream
SKYMONKEY PUBLISHING

[jtval 0]

Thanks! for the input. he has Identified the problem on his own. all I did was counsel him for 6 months to th ebest of my ability. I know that he wont be forced to quit
we have an "AA" equivalent thing in the military. we are going there this afternoon. in an hour actually

Quote

Leave it up to him, in fact, don't even ask him. This is his deal.

He'll find all the support he wants, in and out of AA if he asks for it.

TOO TRUE
thanks again

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[dropdeded 0]

I wish the guy luck. Sometimes its not easy but IS pretty damn simple.

dropdeded

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The Dude Abides.
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[jtval 0]

Quote

Not entirely sure how the AF works

sometimes I wonder myself!



thanks lou!

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[jumpervali 2]

The willingness to help and be considerate is a very understanding gesture on you guys part. I do know from my own experience though, us drunks know or think we know what to say or do to make people go over the hill for us one more time. It takes the help of another drunk to really make it work. Let your friend do some leg work in finding and coming to terms with his illness. He will find the right time to inform others of his choice to stop, it's all in the steps to recovery. We can all see a person slipping into a problem, but until they see it will it be delt with. Sad to think though for some it is only when their freedom or life is lost.

jumpervali
8 years in august

[jtval 0]

CONGRATS, Sandor!

Yea I hoping he gets well. he seems more possitive then usual about it. he has been put on the out patient program as for now. if thing s get worse (DUI or drunk on duty type of thing)they may put admit him into the hosp and make it MANDATORY for him to go thru this....which I think would end up being MORE destructive then CONstructive.
He knows he has a problem and has been trying on his own to quit, to no avail.
now he has raised his hand and the military will work with him. I will get him all the support he needs with out intruding to much into his personal life. but all of his good friends have stepped up to show support and offered to kinda bitch slap him if he needs it!
LOL thats MY TERM for it. they will be there for him and HELP him.
so All he has to do is ask for it when he needs it...and I think he will actually try from this point.
then again , I am naive when it comes to trusting ppl! seems I put too much into them! so all I can do is hope it works...if not I gotta boot him from the miltary!

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[Squeak 17]

it's probably too late to post now (time difference)
But your doiong all the right things from whatg you have said.
One thing that is really inportant it the you dont try and fix it for him. I had ppl trying it for years it won't work.
If he starts going to meetings and is still or starts drinking, it's his deal.
AA is not for everyone, but it will work for everyone who wants it to.
13 year this august

You are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky)
My Life ROCKS!
How's yours doing?

[jtval 0]

13 years? NICE!!!!

I kinda compare this to when I quit smoking.
I know that only HE can prevent forrest fires..(stupid joke from american TV, sorry)

I know only he can quit. I wont try to MAKE him stop but I will be there for Moral support.
I am also VERY aware that it make take a few attempt to quit.
it may not happen the first attempt. he'll fall off then try to st8en out and fall off again ! etc..

but its only through these attempts that we can learn how badly we want to quit. and maybe someday it will CLICK and he will be able to take that deep cleansing breath and say I dont need this shit!

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[Squeak 17]

that's the way the game is played. I've seen guys come and go for years before that get it.

one for certain, once you have been intruduced to a way opf getting clean it kinda stuffs up your drinking and using

You are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky)
My Life ROCKS!
How's yours doing?

[dropdeded 0]

one for certain, once you have been intruduced to a way opf getting clean it kinda stuffs up your drinking and using
__________________________________________________

Yep, they've ruined drinking forever for me

dropdeded

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The Dude Abides.
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[murrays 0]

Good on you for helping someone out JT. AA doesn't always work, it isn't for everybody, but it worked for me...nearly 23 years now.

I am certain I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for AA. I certainly wouldn't have our 2 beautiful little boys, nice house and great job if I hadn't sobered up. My drinking cost me one marriage and having my first son raised my a stepdad.....and I'm very lucky that is all the price I paid. Many others have paid terrible prices as the cost of their drinking. I hope your friend is stopping before the price he pays gets too high....and I think that with a friend like you and the other friends he is about to make he has a good chance.

Good luck!!

--
Murray

"No tyranny is so irksome as petty tyranny: the officious demands of policemen, government clerks, and electromechanical gadgets." - Edward Abbey

[freefallfreak 0]

Jt,
I didn't understand one little thing. Please help me with this. Are you an AF/AA counselor? Not that it matters, but one thing to remember...don't let it get personal.So far, from what you've posted, you are doing the right thing. Just offer what support you can, be there for him and let him do what is right for him. A person can and will only get sober if he/she WANTS to.

FFF

(Sobriety date - March 20, 1980)

[jtval 0]

Nah, Im no counselor. He's my troop. thats what I mean by counseled. I write his reviews ..and other paper work!

this was an area that I felt needed to be addressed. his previous supervisors let it slide

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[freefallfreak 0]

Jt,

You are doing the right thing. Understand, it's pretty much normal for a person to fall back into old behaviors so don't take it personal if he "slips". When the time is right, in his own time, it's gonna work out the way it's supposed to. It may not be the way we want it to work out, but it'll work out the way it's supposed to. I know from personal experience cause I had to try over and over again (from about '76 to '80 before I finally got serious). When that happened, I found that I could do and be what I wanted to do/be. So, hang in there, do what you can, don't expect miracles over night and show respect for what he's going through. He'll be ok.

FFF


P.S. Thanks for caring about the dude. (And not being the foggy old asshole that you can be, lol.)

[jtval 0]

Update.
During the 5 days I was on vacation last week ( NY And Perris)
my troop managed to get him self in the spotlight again!

I have no choice but to kick him out.
At least I can do so with a clear conscience!
I Did all I could do in the way of offering him help and showing him how to get it.

He understands he has a problem but he let it get to his job and unfortunately, he used up his last chance!

I hope he gets his shit to gether for his own sake!

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[Squeak 17]

Quote

Update.
During the 5 days I was on vacation last week ( NY And Perris)
my troop managed to get him self in the spotlight again!

I have no choice but to kick him out.
At least I can do so with a clear conscience!
I Did all I could do in the way of offering him help and showing him how to get it.

He understands he has a problem but he let it get to his job and unfortunately, he used up his last chance!

I hope he gets his shit to gether for his own sake!

This may well be the best thing to happen to him (depnding on how much he loved being in the Army)
He needs to get to "HIS" rock bottom b4 he'll start taking his life serious.
I took me a LOONG time to see the on comming train

You are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky)
My Life ROCKS!
How's yours doing?

[Casie 0]

Sorry to hear that JT....you're doing the right thing!

~Porn Kitty
WARNING: Goldschlager causes extreme emotional outbursts!

[jtval 0]

Quote

This may well be the best thing to happen to him (depnding on how much he loved being in the Army)
He needs to get to "HIS" rock bottom b4 he'll start taking his life serious.
I took me a LOONG time to see the on comming train

so thats what the problem was? he though he was in the army Actually hes in the Air force but I wont hold that against ya

well I hope he hits rockbottom soon then!
(wow isnt that an odd thing to wish on someone)

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[dropdeded 0]

Yep, kicking his ass out MAY be the best thing for him. Dont think he will realize it for awhile though, if thats the case.
JT, you could only do so much and I respect that you tried and cared as much as you did. If it was possible for you to do it FOR him, I'd have called you a long time ago

dropdeded

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The Dude Abides.
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[freefallfreak 0]

Jt,

Ya' know, we can only do for a person what that person allows us to do. Sometimes it's discouraging that we can't control what others do, and it sounds like this happened. Unfortunately, he apparently didn't heed what you tried so hard to provide. It was his control, tho. So, he screwed up. He isn't the first, nor will he be the last. Stand tall, be proud, dude. You gave from your heart even if it didn't turn out the way you, I, and others wanted. But I told about that. And it's ok. Somewhere along the line, at some time, when he's ready for sobriety, he'll hit bottom and claw his way to the top, with help from someone that cares, just as you did then and as you do now. That you care is very apparent from the update.

I wish him well and hopes for a speedy recovery. I wish you joy in life in return for your concern and the offering of the help he so desperately needs altho he does not accept at this time.

Blue Skies, Brother.

TripleF