Corporal Punishment for Children

[lawrocket 3]

I read an interesting essay. Love Your Kids...Prove it by Beating Them

I don't agree with the lengths he would go (yes, he is being somewhat sarcastic)...BUT...I think he makes some valid points in support of it. I have no children, but I've got little brothers. I never struck them (Oh, I have been tempted!!!).

What do others think of corporal punishment on children?

My wife is hotter than your wife.

[livendive 8]

There's a big range between "have no problem with it" and "children should never be struck" that isn't allowed for in the answers, so I went with "should never be struck" because it's closest to what I think. I think children should rarely be struck, only in a certain manner, and only for good reason. I disapprove of about 97% of the physical punishments parents in our society dole out. My daughter is now 15 years old. The only time I've hit her was slapping her hand away from the stove when she was about 4. She's turned out pretty well so far.

Blues,
Dave

"I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!"
(drink Mountain Dew)

[bmcd308 0]

I got spanked a good bit. I turned out OK.

A friend of mine does not spank his kids. They are horrible brats. Once when I was babysitting, I told his little girl I was going to spank her if she did not behave. She told me that her parents did not believe in spanking. I told her that I did. We stared at each other for a few minutes, then she straightened up and flew right when she realized I was not kidding.

Another friend of mine also does not believe in corporal punishment. However, his kids don't know that. He says it takes about two actual spankings a year to keep the threat credible, but other than that he is careful never to paint himself into a disciplinary corner. His kids are angels.

Leads me to believe that avoidance of physical pain is a motivator for kids.

Brent

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www.jumpelvis.com

[Rebecca 0]

I certainly don't support putting a child over your knee and beating them, but I think, especially in cases where the child almost does something dangerous (like run into the street, pull a pot of boiling water off the stove, etc.), a pop on the butt along with a very stern admonition can be effective. Of course, only if you do it in cases of extreme disobedience, as a last resort and only if you contain yourself.

That said though, when I see parents using the back of their hand to discipline their child without even thinking, it makes me really, really angry.

you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' -- well do you, punk?

[Zennie 0]

In before the lock....

- Z
"Always be yourself... unless you suck." - Joss Whedon

[Rebecca 0]

Whatchoo talkin' 'bout, Willis?

Are we breaking rules, or replying in bad taste?

Uh, if so, my apologies, and...


In before the lock- again.

you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' -- well do you, punk?

[lawrocket 3]

Is this an inappropriate topic?

Or should I succumb to peer pressure and get in before the lock?

Wait! I did!

My wife is hotter than your wife.

[Zennie 0]

Nah, I could just see this devolving into a bigtime flame war.

Topic's fine.

I said I support it (within reason of course).

- Z
"Always be yourself... unless you suck." - Joss Whedon

[billvon 3,121]

>Are we breaking rules, or replying in bad taste?

No. But often someone will post "in before the lock!" because they think it's controversial topic. That makes everyone else post "in before the lock!" too because they think it's cool, and pretty soon the thread contains nothing but "in before the lock!" posts - and those do get deleted.

[Zennie 0]

Sorry bill, never did one before. So I had to get my jollies in on one.

Guess I owe beer.

Won't do it again.

- Z
"Always be yourself... unless you suck." - Joss Whedon

[jdhill 0]

Back of the hand, fist, belt, anything to the face... No

Open hand to the butt... yes when it is warrented... but it must not be over used, sometimes the threat is more powerful than the act itself...

"Time outs" are BS, especially when the kid has a tv/computer/gameboy/etc in their room... IMO, you can't reason with a child like you would with an adult.

All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing. - Edmund Burke

[skymama 37]

I admit to having given my kids a few swats when they were little, but I hit the diaper more than anything else. I haven't taken a swat at them in over a decade I'd say, and they're well behaved and I get compliments from their teachers and other parents. Once they get old enough to understand, "time out" works well and then as they get older, taking things away that are important to them works good too. My daughter has had the computer, phone and tv taken away from her in one week before. She was dying! Now that she's started high school, she is really determined to stay on top of her homework, attitude and chores. As she told me just the other night, "I'm tired of being grounded, it sucks!"

Another thing that's worked very well with them is, "the look". They know they are in big trouble when I put that on my face, I don't even have to say anything. I remember when they were about 6 and 8, we were touring model homes during a Parade of Homes and they were getting pretty sick of it, so they started running around a little. We were talking to a salesperson, so all I did was snap to get their attention, pointed at both of them and gave them "the look"...they stopped dead in their tracks. One guy who saw it walked by me and whispered, "damn, you're good!"

She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man,
because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon

[QuickDraw 0]

I was never beaten as a child, and i don't think i turned out so bad,
i've held a job down for 20 years and spent a night or two in jail, having said that i do support discipline in whatever effective form it takes.
Kids have life spoonfed to them these days, its time they were taught otherwise.

-- Hope you don't die. --

I'm fucking winning

[quade 4]

Ok, forgive me for still being dense, because I never had children, but doesn't a "Time Out" mean the same thing as "go sit in the corner" from when I was growing up?

I always thought "go to your room" was a pretty stupid punishment since that's where all my stuff was, but I respected "go sit in the corner" 'cause that was frustrating as hell.

quade -
The World's Most Boring Skydiver

[bmcd308 0]

A lot of the replies on this thread fail to differentiate between "corporal punishment" and "child abuse". I guess I should make it clear that when I said my parents gave me spankings, I meant that they spanked me. This is different from pouring gas on a kid and tossing him a lit flare.

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www.jumpelvis.com

[quade 4]

So, where's the distiction? Somewhere between a spanking, a belt, a metal yardstick . . . ?

quade -
The World's Most Boring Skydiver

[QuickDraw 0]

Quote

This is different from pouring gas on a kid and tossing him a lit flare.

Damn.... wrong thread again.

-- Hope you don't die. --

I'm fucking winning

[Rebecca 0]

I think it's somewhere between a stinging behind for disobeying and bruises for spilling milk.

you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' -- well do you, punk?

[Zennie 0]

Quote

Another thing that's worked very well with them is, "the look

"The Look" also works quite well with significant others. I've been on the receiving end of several.

- Z
"Always be yourself... unless you suck." - Joss Whedon

[lawrocket 3]

I know what you mean.

Me and my brothers watch Malcolm in the Middle, since it seems more of a documentary of my family. Our mom reminds us of "Lois."

Much to my brothers' chagrin, my mother loves Lois, and idolizes her. She actually gets ideas from the show.

That's why I moved 250 miles away..

My wife is hotter than your wife.

[jdhill 0]

I've seen the "time out" take the form of "go to your room" and also "sit in the corner"... neither of them being effective...

my little sister for example, 24 years my junior... my dad and I were talking about parenting one day, and he said his only regret was that he did not take to spanking earlier (he had been doing the TO BS)... now she has displine problems in school and little respect for others, and they are having problems because they missed the formative window for discipline.

TOs and Taking stuff away might work as kids get older, but when young, they don't get it... but they get that I did something, now my butt hurts, maybe I should not do that...

J

All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing. - Edmund Burke

[livendive 8]

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Back of the hand, fist, belt, anything to the face... No

Absolutely

Quote

Open hand to the butt... yes when it is warrented... but it must not be over used, sometimes the threat is more powerful than the act itself...

My only real problem with an open hand to the butt is that most parents do it for the wrong reason, i.e. anger at the child's behavior, rather than as part of a comprehensive education plan.

Quote

"Time outs" are BS, especially when the kid has a tv/computer/gameboy/etc in their room...

Actually, I never even sent my daughter to her room as part of a time-out. I just made her sit on the couch and not talk for a short period of time (5-15 minutes). She could watch TV just like she was before the time-out, but the fact that now she HAD TO seemed very effective, and I haven't had to do that since she was 6 or so. The funny thing is my ex-wife does believe in the occasional spanking, but when she reached the end of her rope, she'd call me and ask me to talk to my daughter or come over. Invariably all that would be required was a simple change in the tone of my voice. I'm not sure why she perceived a threat in that tone (as I never once followed through), but it worked. The last couple years she's been grounded or lost privileges on occasion, but that's it. The key, in my mind, is to never reward inappropriate behavior, starting well before the child learns his/her first word.

Quote

IMO, you can't reason with a child like you would with an adult.

Thankfully, we don't have to. Regardless of intelligence, humans are animals. The best method for training animals is also the best methods for training humans, i.e. positive reinforcement.

Blues,
Dave

"I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!"
(drink Mountain Dew)

[Luv2Fall 0]

Both my mother and my father beat my ass. To this day, I'm thankful.

[SkymonkeyONE 4]

I am from the deep south and I got my ass worn out on a regular basis. It, in my and everyone else I know who grew up this way, was a very positive tool for teaching manners and respect to your elders. Hell, the worst tannings I got were from my grandmother and mother. I was never hit anywhere other than my ass, but I can assure you that I never got away with any nonsense as a child. That said, I, to this day, call anyone more than ten years my senior "sir" or "M'am". I show respect and demand it in return.

Chuck

[CrazyIvan 0]

Sometimes is necessary, no doubt about it, when I was a kid, I used to have sessions of 'Dodging the flying shoe' or 'Running away from Mr. Belt' and when I used to get on my mom's nerves, "Hide from Ms. Wooden Spoon', sometimes you just deserve it, and makes you think twice in doing the same 'naughty thing' again.

__________________________________________
Blue Skies and May the Force be with you.