Casie 0 #1 August 19, 2003 Man of the Year Nominees:~Porn Kitty WARNING: Goldschlager causes extreme emotional outbursts! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mr2mk1g 10 #2 August 19, 2003 ok - can I open these attachments at work without getting the sack? I have far too much lurking on my work pc after looking at pics on these forums as it is... Is the man of the year "gifted" in some way? or is he just a very very nice man who helps grannies and bunny rabbits etc? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DYEVOUT 0 #3 August 19, 2003 http://www.dropzone.com/cgi-bin/forum/gforum.cgi?post=609595;sb=post_latest_reply;so=ASC;forum_view=forum_view_collapsed;;page=unread#unread ----------------=8^)---------------------- "I think that was the wrong tennis court." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Casie 0 #4 August 19, 2003 Quit complaining................~Porn Kitty WARNING: Goldschlager causes extreme emotional outbursts! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Casie 0 #5 August 19, 2003 It's safe for work~Porn Kitty WARNING: Goldschlager causes extreme emotional outbursts! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wmw999 2,588 #6 August 19, 2003 They're safe for work. But they have been around a few times... Wendy W.There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Casie 0 #7 August 19, 2003 Oh dangit! Missed that one! I'm sure you missed my cat joke yesterday cause you didn't put your 2 cents in~Porn Kitty WARNING: Goldschlager causes extreme emotional outbursts! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Casie 0 #8 August 19, 2003 Just Think About It Joe Smith started the day early having set his alarm clock (MADE IN JAPAN) for 6 a.m. While his coffeepot (MADE IN CHINA) was perking, he shaved with his electric razor (MADE IN HONG KONG). He put on a dress shirt (MADE IN SRI LANKA), designer jeans (MADE IN SINGAPORE) and tennis shoes (MADE IN KOREA). After cooking his breakfast in his new electric skillet (MADE IN INDIA) he sat down with his calculator (MADE IN MEXICO) to see how much he could spend today. After setting his watch (MADE IN TAIWAN) to the radio (MADE IN INDIA) he got in his car (MADE IN GERMANY) and continued his search for a good paying AMERICAN JOB. At the end of yet another discouraging and fruitless day, Joe decided to relax for a while. He put on his sandals (MADE IN BRAZIL) poured himself a glass of wine (MADE IN FRANCE) and turned on his TV (MADE IN INDONESIA), and then wondered why he can't find a good paying job in.....AMERICA.....~Porn Kitty WARNING: Goldschlager causes extreme emotional outbursts! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mr2mk1g 10 #9 August 19, 2003 crap I could base that first one with my snevely old saber - what the hell is wrong with that job "hey mat you got your safety harness on" "shit yeah.... 3 2 1 BAAASSSSEEEEE" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Pablito 0 #10 August 19, 2003 Man I have a great Job, thanks for remind me about it:) "If you don't overcome your fears they will overcome you first" Shady Monkey/6Segundos Rodriguez/AKA Pablito Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 226 #11 August 19, 2003 Me too...I love my job...I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
juanesky 0 #12 August 19, 2003 True Doctor Stories --- These are pretty good. - A man comes into the ER and yells; "My wife's going to have her baby in the cab!" I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's dress, and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs, and I was in the wrong one. Dr. Mark MacDonald, San Antonio, TX * * * * * * * * * * * * At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. "Big breaths," I instructed. "Yes, they used to be," remorsefully replied the patient. Dr. Richard Byrnes, Seattle, WA * * * * * * * * * * * * One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a "massive internal fart." Dr. Susan Steinberg, Manitoba, Canada * * * * * * * * * * * * I was performing a complete physical, including the visual acuity test. I placed the patient twenty feet from the chart and began, "Cover your right eye with your hand." He read the 20/20 line perfectly. "Now your left." Again, a flawless read.. "Now both," I requested. There was silence. He couldn't even read the large E on the top line. I turned and discovered that he had done exactly what I had asked; he was standing there with both his eyes covered. I was laughing too hard to finish the exam. Dr. Matthew Theodropolous, Worcester, MA * * * * * * * * * * * * During a patient's two-week follow-up appointment with his cardiologist, he informed me, his doctor, that he was having trouble with one of his medications. "Which one?" I asked. "The patch. The nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours and now I'm running out of places to put it!" Ihad him quickly undress and discovered what I hoped I wouldn't see. Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body! Now the instructions include removal of the old patch before applying a new one. Dr. Rebecca St. Clair, Norfolk, VA * * * * * * * * * * * * While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, "How long have you been bedridden?" After a look of complete confusion she answered "Why, not for about twenty years -- when my husband was alive." Dr. Steven Swanson, Corvallis, OR * * * * * * * * * * * * I was caring for a woman from Kentucky and asked, "So, how's your breakfast this morning?" "It's very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem to get used to the taste," the patient replied. I then asked to see the jelly and the woman produced a foil packet labeled "KY Jelly." Dr. Leonard Kransdorf, Detroit, MI * * * * * * * * * * * * And the winner is... A new, yo! ung MD doing his residency in OB was quite embarrassed performing female pelvic exams. To cover his embarrassment he had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly. The middle-aged lady upon whom he was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing and further embarrassed him. He looked up from his work and sheepishly said, "I'm sorry. Was I tickling you?" She replied, "No doctor, but the song you were whistling was 'I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener'.""According to some of the conservatives here, it sounds like it's fine to beat your wide - as long as she had it coming." -Billvon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Casie 0 #13 August 19, 2003 That last one cracked me up......OMG! LOL!~Porn Kitty WARNING: Goldschlager causes extreme emotional outbursts! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TitaniumLegs 8 #14 August 19, 2003 The German in QuitComplainingAboutYourJob31_1.jpg says "The wrong time in the wrong place with the wrong job." (>o|-< If you don't believe me, ask me. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
flymysky 0 #15 August 19, 2003 A Fairy Tale Once upon a time, in a land far away, a beautiful, independent, women was contemplating ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow near her castle. A frog hopped into the Princess' lap and said: "Elegant Lady, I was once a handsome Prince, until an evil witch cast a spell upon me. One kiss from you, however, and I will turn back into the dapper, young Prince that I am and then, my sweet, we can marry and setup housekeeping in yon castle with my Mother, where you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children, and forever feel grateful and happy doing so." That night, on a repast of lightly sauteed frogs legs seasoned in a white wine and onion cream sauce, she chuckled to herself and thought: I don't fucking think so. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
juanesky 0 #17 August 19, 2003 bbbbbbbbbbbbwwwwwwwwwwwwwwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa"According to some of the conservatives here, it sounds like it's fine to beat your wide - as long as she had it coming." -Billvon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Casie 0 #18 August 19, 2003 Tooo hilarious! Thanx for sharing!~Porn Kitty WARNING: Goldschlager causes extreme emotional outbursts! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
qtensassy 0 #19 August 19, 2003 A woman walks into her accountant's office and tells him that she needs to file her taxes. The accountant says, "Before we begin, I'll need to ask a few questions. He gets her name, address, social security number, etc. and then asks......... "What is your occupation?" The woman replies, "I'm a high-priced whore." The accountant balks and says, "No, no, no. That will never work. That is much too crass. Let's try to rephrase that." The woman says, "OK, I'm a high-end call girl". "No, that is still too crude. Try again." They both think for a minute, then the woman states, "I'm an elite chicken farmer." The accountant asks, "What does chicken farming have to do with being a whore or a call girl?". "Well, I raised over 5,000 little peckers last year." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Casie 0 #20 August 19, 2003 OMG! LMAO!~Porn Kitty WARNING: Goldschlager causes extreme emotional outbursts! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 226 #21 August 19, 2003 I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
