DYEVOUT 0 #1 August 19, 2003 Who Cuts the Grass One Saturday afternoon, I was sitting in my lawn chair, drinking beer and watching my wife mow the lawn. The neighbor lady from across the street was so outraged at this that she came over and shouted at me, "You should be hung." I took a drink from my can of Yuengling Lager, wiped the cold foam from my lips, lifted my darkened RayBan Sunglasses and stared directly at this nosey bitch and then calmly replied, "I am, that's why she cuts the grass". ----------------=8^)---------------------- "I think that was the wrong tennis court." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 226 #2 August 19, 2003 Yes.I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Brains 2 #3 August 19, 2003 I think it's pretty damn funny Never look down on someone, unless they are going down on you. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freeflygoddess 0 #5 August 19, 2003 It is funny, would be funnier if he was to instead drop his pants and say, "I don't know you tell me, my wife thinks I am." Or something like that. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
quade 4 #6 August 19, 2003 It would be funnier if you didn't give the punchline away before you began to tell the joke.quade - The World's Most Boring Skydiver Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Casie 0 #7 August 19, 2003 I've heard this one quite a bit but it still makes me laugh out loud!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~Porn Kitty WARNING: Goldschlager causes extreme emotional outbursts! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CrazyIvan 0 #8 August 19, 2003 Zzzzzz.....Zzzzzzz....ZZZzzzzzzz....ZZzzzzzz __________________________________________ Blue Skies and May the Force be with you. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
quade 4 #9 August 19, 2003 The rewrite . . . Quote So, anyway, there I was, kicking back in the hammock, having a brewski and watchin' my ol' lady cut the grass. The bitch from across the street sees this, walks over, points her pudgy finger at me, looks me in the eye and says, "You should be hung!" My ol' lady stops in her tracks and says, "He is -- like a race horse. Why do you think I'm willing to cut the grass?" Even this could be a lot funnier if we could find a phrase with harder consonants for the last word of the punchline. "Grass" is weak.quade - The World's Most Boring Skydiver Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 226 #10 August 19, 2003 Yeah, much better.I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
txblondie 0 #12 August 19, 2003 QuoteThe rewrite . . . Quote So, anyway, there I was, kicking back in the hammock, having a brewski and watchin' my ol' lady cut the grass. The bitch from across the street sees this, walks over, points her pudgy finger at me, looks me in the eye and says, "You should be hung!" My ol' lady stops in her tracks and says, "He is -- like a race horse. Why do you think I'm willing to cut the grass?" Even this could be a lot funnier if we could find a phrase with harder consonants for the last word of the punchline. "Grass" is weak. Totally agreed... ***************************************** Blondes do have more fun! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
quade 4 #13 August 19, 2003 Rewrite #2 (from the female perspective this time -- same basic joke, different punchline). Quote So, anyway, there I was, kicking back in the hammock, having a brewski and watchin' my ol' lady dig a hole. The bitch from across the street sees this, walks over, points her pudgy finger at me, looks me in the eye and says, "You should be killed!" My ol' lady stops in her tracks and says, "Why do you think I'm digging this hole?" quade - The World's Most Boring Skydiver Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
txblondie 0 #14 August 19, 2003 QuoteRewrite #2 (from the female perspective this time -- same basic joke, different punchline). Quote So, anyway, there I was, kicking back in the hammock, having a brewski and watchin' my ol' lady dig a hole. The bitch from across the street sees this, walks over, points her pudgy finger at me, looks me in the eye and says, "You should be killed!" My ol' lady stops in her tracks and says, "Why do you think I'm digging this hole?" Haha! In the words of Bill Engvall-- now THAT'S awesome! ***************************************** Blondes do have more fun! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freeflygoddess 0 #15 August 19, 2003 Yeah I like that one much better... Kathryn Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 226 #16 August 19, 2003 The options . . . So, anyway, there I was, kicking back in the hammock, having (1)and watchin' my ol' lady (2) The bitch from across the street sees this, walks over, points her pudgy finger at me, looks me in the eye and says, "(3)" My ol' lady stops in her tracks and says, "(4). Why do you think I'm (5)?" 1) 3) 5) A beer You should be Shot By Myself A Toss Hey! ASSHOLE Killing Kittens Hemmroids You Animal With Him Sex You Beast Doing your husband Suicidal Thoughts Hi Honey So Blonde 2) 4) Bend Over WHAT! Kill Kittens Yes He Is! Pull Weeds No He's Not Dig a Hole Don't I wish! Beg Hi Honey Ok, Ok, so it didn't turn out as good as I thought...I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
