jessd 0 #1 August 21, 2003 A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it started." Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?" The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger." Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger." He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then....." he sighed, "...let's put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box." "Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away..." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
alanab 0 #2 August 21, 2003 i saw that one coming! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
juanesky 0 #3 August 21, 2003 BWWWAAAHAHAHAHAHA, Jessica, you got me going with wednesday funny r u blond?"According to some of the conservatives here, it sounds like it's fine to beat your wide - as long as she had it coming." -Billvon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jessd 0 #4 August 21, 2003 I am blond actually. Also, I lost track of my day's. Thank god it's Thursday - I need the weekend. "Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away..." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Casie 0 #5 August 21, 2003 LOL! Do you ever wonder? Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?" Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes out of it's rear end." Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?~Porn Kitty WARNING: Goldschlager causes extreme emotional outbursts! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Casie 0 #6 August 21, 2003 TOP TEN BEST THINGS ABOUT A MELISSA ETHERIDGE CONCERT NUMBER TEN------no lines at the mens urinals NUMBER NINE----It's like being in your very own Ally McBeal episode cause there are more women than men in the men's rest room NUMBER EIGHT--Conversations with Betty like, "check out the Femme" NUMBER SEVEN-- TONS! of single women ;) NUMBER SIX--------The girls throwing their undergarments at Melissa during “I'm the only one.” NUMBER FIVE------Watching the PREVIOUSLY UNAWARE straight peoples reaction when they realize the crowd they are in. NUMBER FOUR---Playing “spot the straight people” during intermission. NUMBER THREE-- No need to turn on your “Gaydar” the screen would be saturated. NUMBER TWO-----Hanging with your lesbian friends is like visiting a really cool parallel universe. AND THE NUMBER ONE BEST THING---------------------------------- Melissa's music ROCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!~Porn Kitty WARNING: Goldschlager causes extreme emotional outbursts! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
juanesky 0 #7 August 21, 2003 QuoteI am blond actually. Also, I lost track of my day's. Thank god it's Thursday - I need the weekend. Never mind, that was a good one though......so did u finish AFF? cya in jumptown I guess..."According to some of the conservatives here, it sounds like it's fine to beat your wide - as long as she had it coming." -Billvon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
txblondie 0 #8 August 21, 2003 The Sheriff in a small town walks out in the street and sees a blonde cowboy coming down the walk with nothing on but his cowboy hat, gun and his boots, so he arrests him for indecent exposure. As he is locking him up, he asks, "Why in the world are you dressed like this?" The Cowboy says, "Well, it's like this Sheriff... I was in the bar down the road and this pretty little red head asks me to go out to her motor home with her... so I did. We go inside and she pulls off her top and asks me to pull off my shirt...so I did. Then she pulls off her skirt and asks me to pull off my pants...so I did. Then she pulls off her panties and asks me to pull off my shorts...so I did. Then she gets on the bed and looks at me kind of sexy and says, 'Now go to town cowboy..." "And, here I am." So, you see, Blond Men do exist. ***************************************** Blondes do have more fun! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jessd 0 #9 August 21, 2003 Nope - have not finished AFF - have not jumped since April. I am hoping to get up to J-town to hang out soon - most likely not to jump though. "Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away..." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #10 August 21, 2003 QuoteNUMBER SEVEN-- TONS! of single women ;) When I was in Key West with my buddies, they walked up Duval and checked out the bars. They walked in one and there were tons of girls. "Dude... we are in..." They started feeling disheartened when they were the only guys in the bar and no one would dance with them. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
juanesky 0 #11 August 21, 2003 QuoteQuoteNUMBER SEVEN-- TONS! of single women ;) When I was in Key West with my buddies, they walked up Duval and checked out the bars. They walked in one and there were tons of girls. "Dude... we are in..." They started feeling disheartened when they were the only guys in the bar and no one would dance with them. The only problem is that is could be a far fetched bout of my imagination, but those so called "women" Could have a bulge in front, and that it is also a slight probablity that is not the purse......"According to some of the conservatives here, it sounds like it's fine to beat your wide - as long as she had it coming." -Billvon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #12 August 21, 2003 QuoteThe only problem is that is could be a far fetched bout of my imagination Ya think about this a lot? Sorry, I don't bat for that team. We took my buddies Cessna, so it was the 4 of us. We didn't really think about it, but 4 guys hitting bars in KW... A lot of women from Miami go to KW to party. A 2 hour drive, but far enough away that tales don't follow you home. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
juanesky 0 #13 August 21, 2003 I know, but always am weary of having to resort to being tactful to find what I'm looking for.... (0 package) "According to some of the conservatives here, it sounds like it's fine to beat your wide - as long as she had it coming." -Billvon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
