Unstable 9 #1 September 1, 2003 ARRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!! I have found myself in the worst of worst scenerios here. Please allow me to vent my frusterations here, maybe putting them into type-written words will help me come to grips with things. Here I am in Salt Lake, Came all the way out (And missed Couch Freaks, by the Way, huge sacrifice) to take care of some business within the Family. It is very nice to hang out with everybody and be back home.... Well, my brother appears with this absolutly WONDERFUL girl, and announces that they are going to be married this November 22end. Nothing spontaneous, he's been discussing it within the family for months now, the news was more formalities. This girl is amazing, she has her life together, working as a 2end grade teacher, active in all aspects of life, everything a guy could want in a Woman. She's beautiful, well off, and has an amazing personality. When the wedding date was announced, my heart sank. There are many circumstances which i can't really go into that make it impossible to attend the wedding. I'm not trying to bitch and moan on these forums, But this is a REAALLLY big deal for me. I mean, this is my own brother, he's been through some hard times with previous girlfriends/wives et cetera, and he's just now settleing down in Las Vegas as a young Lawyer. I feel it is very important that i be there to support him in his decision, and i feel like i'm falling through here. I don't think it would be such a big deal if we didn't all feel so strongly about this young lady he has choosen. Does anybody have any ideas how i can make up for this? Re-reading over my post it sounds a little bland and whiny, but this really is a great contention for me right now. any advice would be greatly appreciated.... =========Shaun ========== Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
chaoskitty 0 #2 September 1, 2003 Ohhh.. sorry to hear your dillemma. I would want to be there for my brother's wedding as well. If there is absolutely no way you can work it out to be there (are you SURE about this??), then explain it to your bro. If it were me, I would move hell and high water, and tell whoever I had to, to go to hell in order to be there. But you didnt specify what your obstacles are so I dont know that for sure. Good luck! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sinker 0 #3 September 1, 2003 wow! that is a pickle! like she said, if there is ANY frickin way to be there, do it. However, if that is a complete impossibility, maybe you could make it up to them by getting a kick ass gift for them. Maybe a couple of things. What my wife did for my sister is we contacted everyone who was in the wedding party on the sly and had them write favorite stories of my sis and fiance, send in photos, etc. And we made a scrap book out of them. It was so rad. Also, you could go see 'em a little before the wedding and take them out or something, show them that this really is important to you... good luck man... and you didn't sound whiny at all... -the artist formerly known as sinker Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Michele 1 #4 September 1, 2003 I agree with ChaosKitty...but if it proves to be impossible, how about writing him a letter and letting him know that you support him and his wife-to-be, and that you will spring for them to visit you when they return from their honeymoon (or something like that?) I think that letting them both know that you love and support them in writing will make it easier for them to understand. Let them know about why, too, so they completely understand. And you're not being whiney nor bland...and I hope you find a way to get it handled so you can be there. In any event, sending you lots of vibes! Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CloudOnMyTongue 0 #5 September 1, 2003 Without having more info, I say you should be happy for your brother, and do whatever you can to be at the wedding. He's your brother. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Unstable 9 #6 September 1, 2003 Thats a very good idea - it would be tricky to coordinate but well worth the effort. I'm sorry I haven't gone too much in depth for why it would be impossible to attend......... So many intertwining circumstances, would take up an entire server to post here. Please trust me however, if i had even one more resource to make it out there, i would not be stressing as such. I guess a kick-ass gift and a call on their wedding day would do a good job, but Sinker, you were right when you said i should get out there a little before (or after) to extend my congratulations. Thank you all........ Even writing this down helps =========Shaun ========== Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SkydiverRick 0 #7 September 1, 2003 What boogie is it? never pull low......unless you are Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Unstable 9 #8 September 1, 2003 QuoteWhat boogie is it LOL yeah right man! If it were just a boogie, then fuck it. I'll work something out here though.........can't give up yet.=========Shaun ========== Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wmw999 2,559 #9 September 1, 2003 If your brother has just announced the date, maybe it's not set in stone, and can be set to one you can make? If not, I completely agree with the "there in spirit" thing. One thing that was done for a family friend at his wedding (they showed it at the reception) was a slide show & home movie with announcer of pictures of both the bride and groom as they were growing up in their different cities -- so what Sinker suggested can be very powerful. Wendy W.There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skydiverbrian 0 #10 September 1, 2003 My sister got married last month. I was stuck at home. So I'm looking at pictures instead. No regrets. Don't worry about it - do what you have to do. In a world full of people, only some want to fly... isn't that crazy! --Seal Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Flygator 0 #11 September 1, 2003 My brother is dead now and if I had it to do all over again, I would have been there for him... The secret to life is not arriving at the grave in a well preserved body but sliding in sideways completely worn out yelling "holy crap" what a ride!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
katiebear21 0 #12 September 1, 2003 Have you told them it will be nearly impossible to attend? Maybe if it's important enough to them that you're there they'll shift the date a little. I was not there for my sister's first wedding and unfortunately it failed. When she got engaged again, the first thing she did is check with me so make sure I could be there. I'd say, if they understand you can't be there, and still proceed with the date they've selected, then they probably won't have hard feelings and while you'll be missing out you shouldn't feel bad about it! Katie Get your PMS glass necklace here Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
champu 1 #13 September 1, 2003 QuoteHave you told them it will be nearly impossible to attend? Maybe if it's important enough to them that you're there they'll shift the date a little. yes. do mention it to them. but be sure to bring it up before they order the invitations Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nightjumps 1 #14 September 1, 2003 The best gifts you can give someone when you are unable to attend such an affair is; the gift of time and communication. Ask your brother and fiance to dinner - just the three of you. Explain the situation and offer that - a tangible gift would be cursory at best. You would like some one-on-one time with them over dinner as your wedding gift. Give her a rose at dinner and give your brother something personal. Reinforce to them what you have said here. How great a woman you think she is to her and give your brother your blessings. They will understand. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Unstable 9 #15 September 1, 2003 QuoteThe best gifts you can give someone when you are unable to attend such an affair is; the gift of time and communication. I spend the night thinking it all over, and that is exactly what i've figured. I can save up between now and December and go see him and his wife for a week or so. Spend some time with them and express my regrets. Thank you very much everybody, i've read this forum top to bottom now at least 15 times, and i Really appreciate everybody input and advice. Blue Skies,=========Shaun ========== Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
