evilivan 0 #1 September 2, 2003 A man walks into a dentist's surgery and says, "Excuse me, can you help me. I think I'm a moth." Dentist: "You don't need a dentist. You need a psychiatrist." Man: "Yes, I know." Dentist: "So why did you come in here?" Man: "The light was on...""If you can keep your head when all around you have lost theirs, then you probably haven't understood the seriousness of the situation." David Brent Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mccordia 74 #2 September 2, 2003 Roses are red, violets are blue...I'm scitzofrenic...and so am I..JC FlyLikeBrick I'm an Athlete? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TheBile 0 #3 September 2, 2003 QuoteRoses are red, violets are blue...I'm scitzofrenic...and so am I.. Bill Murray - Something About Bob.Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW ! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
juanesky 0 #4 September 2, 2003 A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, "What are all those clocks?" St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move." "Oh," said the man, "whose clock is that?" "That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie." "Incredible," said the man. "And whose clock is that one?" St. Peter responded, "That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life." "Where's Bush's clock?" asked the man. "Bush's clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan.""According to some of the conservatives here, it sounds like it's fine to beat your wide - as long as she had it coming." -Billvon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Blahr 0 #5 September 2, 2003 QuoteRoses are red, violets are blue...I'm scitzofrenic...and so am I.. I just HAVE to say this because they are so commonly linked together. Multiple personalities is NOT a symptom of schizophrenia or other schizo-affective disorder. They are completely unrelated disorders. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
txblondie 0 #6 September 2, 2003 QuoteQuoteRoses are red, violets are blue...I'm scitzofrenic...and so am I.. I just HAVE to say this because they are so commonly linked together. Multiple personalities is NOT a symptom of schizophrenia or other schizo-affective disorder. They are completely unrelated disorders. That's true; see below: HELLO, AND WELCOME TO THE PSYCHIATRIC HOTLINE. If you are obsessive-impulsive, please press "1" repeatedly. If you are codependent, please ask someone to press "2". If you have MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES, please press "3", "4", "5", and "6". If you are schizophrenic, please listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press. If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Please stay on the line until we can trace your call. If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press; no one will answer. (Not a knock against anyone; this was actually taken from a high school newsletter) ***************************************** Blondes do have more fun! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Blahr 0 #7 September 2, 2003 Quote HELLO, AND WELCOME TO THE PSYCHIATRIC HOTLINE. If you are obsessive-impulsive, please press "1" repeatedly. If you are codependent, please ask someone to press "2". If you have MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES, please press "3", "4", "5", and "6". If you are schizophrenic, please listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press. If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Please stay on the line until we can trace your call. If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press; no one will answer. (Not a knock against anyone; this was actually taken from a high school newsletter) LOL. Now THIS is funny Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
txblondie 0 #8 September 2, 2003 Thanks! I've got a copy of it hanging on my wall at work; reminds me of how good life can be and cheers me up when I'm down! ***************************************** Blondes do have more fun! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
juanesky 0 #9 September 2, 2003 Good one Robin......LMAO These attachements refer to what if men wrote advice columns for women......"According to some of the conservatives here, it sounds like it's fine to beat your wide - as long as she had it coming." -Billvon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Blahr 0 #10 September 2, 2003 If the guy keep eating those delicious meals, his wife and her best friend wont be able to perform oral sex on him as his genitals will have receded into big folds of flab and be unreachable. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
