NightJumper 0 #1 September 17, 2003 A tourist walked into a pet store and was looking at the animals on display. While he was there, a CWO from the local air base walked in and said to the shopkeeper "I'll take a 933 monkey, please". The shopkeeper nodded, went to a cage at the side of the store, and took out a monkey. He put a collar and leash on the animal and handed it the Chief, saying, "That'll be $2,000." The man paid and left with the monkey. The surprised tourist went to the shopkeeper and said, "That was a very expensive monkey. Most of them are only a few hundred dollars. Why did that one cost so much?" The shopkeeper answered, "Ah, that's a 933 monkey. He can build pallets of freight, plan aircraft loads, rig loads for airdrops, drive forklifts type manifests, heat meals for officers, and perform the duties of any Traffic Tech with no back talk or complaints. It's well worth the money" The tourist then spotted a monkey in another cage. "That one's even more expensive! $10,000! What does it do?" he asked. "Oh, that one" replied the shopkeeper. "That's a "Maintenance Supervisor" monkey. It can instruct at all levels of maintenance, supervise maintenance at the unit, intermediate, and Depot level, and even do most of the paperwork. A very useful monkey indeed" The tourist looked around a little longer and found a third monkey in a cage. The price tag was $50,000. The shocked tourist exclaimed, "This one costs more than all the others put together! What in the world can it do?" "Actually," said the shopkeeper, "I've never actually seen him do anything but drink beer and play with his dick, but his papers say he's a Pilot." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
greybeard 0 #2 September 17, 2003 so, the blonde goes to her doctor and complains that "wherever i touch myself, it hurts". the doctor says to touch her shoulder, she does and cries out "ouch, it hurts". the doctor says to touch her forehead, she does and cries out "ouch, it hurts". the doctor says to touch her knee, she does and cries out "ouch, it hurts". the doctor tells her he knows what's wrong, he says "your finger is broken". Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
juanesky 0 #3 September 17, 2003 A couple made a deal that whoever died first, they would come back and inform the other of the after life. Her biggest fear was there was no heaven. After a long life of 90+yrs the husband was the first to go and true to his word he made contact. Mary... Mary.... Is that you Fred? Yes, I have come back like we agreed. What is it like? Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex, I have breakfast, then I have sex, I bathe in the sun, then I have sex-twice, I have lunch, then sex pretty much all afternoon Supper-then sex till late at night, Sleep then start all over again. Oh Fred you surely must be in heaven. Hell no, I`m a rabbit in Kansas"According to some of the conservatives here, it sounds like it's fine to beat your wide - as long as she had it coming." -Billvon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TaeKwonDoDo 0 #4 September 17, 2003 A Little kid is staying the week at his grandparents house. The night before it had been raining all night long but in the morning the sun was shining and the little boy was playing in the back yard. While the boy was hunched down in the mud, his grandfather walked up and asked him what he was doing. The boy replied, "trying to get this worm back in this small hole it just came out of..." The grandfather then said to the boy, "If you can get that worm back in the hole, I'll give you $5." The boy sat and thought for a moment, then ran into the house. A moment later the boy comes running back out with a can of hairspray. He sprays the worm all over, and then puts the worm back into the ground. True to his word, the grandfather hands his grandson $5. The next morning, the little boy is sitting in the kitchen eating breakfast when his grandfather comes down the stairs and hands him another $5. The boy looks at the grandfather and says, "But gramps... you already paid me." The grandfather replies, "I know. This is from your Grandmother." "That's not flying, it's falling with style." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rebecca 0 #5 September 17, 2003 OMG! HAHAHahahah!! I actually had to think about it for a sec.... nice one. you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' -- well do you, punk? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
