sinker 0 #1 September 20, 2003 Subject: The difference between Liberals, Connservatives and Texans Question: You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges. You are carrying a Glock .40 and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do? > > Liberal Answer: Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Does the Glock have an appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying a loaded gun and what kind of message does this send to society and my children? Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want to kill me or would he just be content to wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a few days to try to come to a conclusion. > > Conservative Answer: BANG! > > Texan's Answer: BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click... (sounds of reloading). Wife: "Sweetheart, he looks like he's still moving, what do you kids think?" Son: "Mom's right Dad, I saw it too..." BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click. Daughter: "Nice group, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips?" -the artist formerly known as sinker Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
racer42 0 #2 September 20, 2003 Yeah real funny. He only fired that much cause they banned hi capacity magazines.L.A.S.T. #24 Co-Founder Biscuit Brothers Freefly Team Electric Toaster #3 Co-Founder Team Non Sequitor Co-Founder Team Happy Sock Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sinker 0 #3 September 20, 2003 yeah, I caught that too... actually, as the joke was sent to me, the texan only fired nine shots each clip, which just wasn't kosher so I added the tenth shot. -the artist formerly known as sinker Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
moodyskydiver 0 #4 September 20, 2003 LOL! Cute...especially since I just talked to a gun dealer today about range classes and the requirements for a concealed weapons permit. <--Proud Native Texan "...just an earthbound misfit, I." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
racer42 0 #5 September 20, 2003 How come you don't hang on the rack in the back window of your pick up?? Glove box?? Under the seat. Twixt your legs?? Aint that conceeled??L.A.S.T. #24 Co-Founder Biscuit Brothers Freefly Team Electric Toaster #3 Co-Founder Team Non Sequitor Co-Founder Team Happy Sock Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
miked10270 0 #6 September 20, 2003 Hmmm... I'd have thought the Texan answer would have the sound of a cardboard tube being extended, the whine of a capacitor charging and "Whooosh.... BANG!" Wife: "Why didn't y'all use the Glock .40 honey?" Hubby: "That there goddarn knife he had there was one of them funny... imported... Swiss Army things honey. Weren't sure the Glock would stop him, but the LAW took out the knife AND his abdomen in the one shot. No need to reload." Mike. Taking the piss out of the FrenchAmericans since before it was fashionable. Prenait la pisse hors du FrançaisCanadiens méridionaux puisqu'avant lui à la mode. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
miked10270 0 #7 September 20, 2003 OK, Here's an oldie... Englishman, Frenchman and an American find an old oil lamp. Give it a rub, and out comes the Genie. £ wishes works out at one each...: The American goes first. He's patriotic & laments on how AMericans are regarded as vulgar, brash, overbearing, loud... He wants Americans to be smarter, nicer, more popular, more intelligent... The genie thinks for a moment & KABOOM... The Gulf of Mexico is suddenly 235,000 miles bigger to the north. OK, the US population is down 20,000,000 but not anybody who'll be missed. The Frenchman goes next. He's patriotic and laments on how France has suffered from all the invasions, the surrenders, and he wishes for france to be permanently secure against foreigners. He wishes for an impenetrable wall around France. KABOOM. The wall's there, 100 miles high. The Englishman is also a Patriot. He says to the genie "Tell me more about this wall". The genie says it's 100 miles high, completely impervoius & indestructible, and NOTHING can get in or out. The Englishman says "Fine... Fill it with water." Now... All that water had to come from somewhere... And that's why Texas is so dry. Mike. Taking the piss out of the FrenchAmericans since before it was fashionable. Prenait la pisse hors du FrançaisCanadiens méridionaux puisqu'avant lui à la mode. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
