Skymonkey13 0 #1 September 28, 2003 This is a long story, but very crazy. First, let me set this up... my mom is a Saint, in every sense of the word. But she does have her quirks. She is just a old hillbilly from Arkansas (accent included), but she has never had a drink of alcohol, or smoked a cigarette in her life. The only time she was even close to drugs, was when i took her to a Kiss Concert when she was 60, and a guy passed her a joint and she said, "What the hell do i do with this", But that's a entirely different story. But mom is a Bird Nut. Every week i have to take her to the City Market, to the Planters Seed Store and she buys a 100# bag of Bird Seed and a couple of smaller bags of different types. Did i mention, mom does like to curse though? Yea, nothing real bad. Just things like DAMN, SHIT, and her favorite ASSHOLE. Now about 4 months ago i am sitting on the couch watching TV and the phone rings. It's a lady who lives across the alley from my mom. She says "Mike, this is Dorothy, You need to go to your moms house and check on her, she just broke my window" I'm like WTF !!! I said ,"I will be right over" I get there in 5 minutes, run in the house, don't see mom. Run out to the back deck, and there's mom, with a Sling shot and a bag of Jelly Beans. I said "What the hell are you doing, mom" she said, "I'm trying to hit them DAMN Black Birds, their taking all the Red Birds food" I said, well you put all this bird seed out here and then you expect only certain birds to eat it. She looks me right in the face and was serious as hell, and says "The bag says Cardinal Seed". I said, "but mom, the Damn birds don't know that". Then i say, "do you know you broke Dorothy's window?" She said, " hmmm, i don't remember shooting that way, must of been when i tried to get that one when he was flying away ". Well, i take the Sling Shot, and the Jelly Beans, have Dorothy's window replaced and think everything is cool. 2 Weeks later i stop by the house and i find mom on the back deck fumbling with my sons pellet gun. She says "Mike, can you show me how to load this Damn thing?" I said, "What the hell are you doing now?" She explains that she's after them Damn Black Birds again. I said "Mom, you can't be out here shooting a gun at birds" she says "I'm not going to kill em, i'm just going to wing em" i said "mom, you couldn't even hit the garage" and she says (and was serious) "well you load this and get your ass out there in the yard, and i'll show you that i can wing you, asshole" You see, thats when i had to take all the guns out of moms house, even BB guns. I told you she was crazy, but i guess thats what 4 sons and 1 daughter will do yo ya. But i love her to death. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
vonSanta 0 #2 September 28, 2003 ROFL, your mom is one cool person Santa Von GrossenArsch I only come in one flavour ohwaitthatcanbemisunderst Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pds 0 #3 September 28, 2003 FALSE ADVERTISEMENT: Here's another Crazy story about my mom. SHOULD BE Here's another story about my Crazy mom. namaste, motherfucker. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Skymonkey13 0 #4 September 28, 2003 QuoteFALSE ADVERTISEMENT: Here's another Crazy story about my mom. SHOULD BE Here's another story about my Crazy mom. How True, my mistake. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
katiebear21 0 #5 September 28, 2003 Reminds me of the time I was on the phone with my mom and I heard a gunshot... turns out she was standing out on the deck trying to shoot a fox that had been chasing the horses in the pasture! Moms rock! Katie Get your PMS glass necklace here Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Skymonkey13 0 #6 September 28, 2003 QuoteReminds me of the time I was on the phone with my mom and I heard a gunshot... turns out she was standing out on the deck trying to shoot a fox that had been chasing the horses in the pasture! Moms rock! Yea, you gotta love em, hell, you can;t shoot em. At least not my mom, she'll wing ya. I have asked my dad to keep an eye on her, but he refuses. He said she threatened to wing him too. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hooked 0 #7 September 28, 2003 Very funny story! What a dear she must be! J -------------------------------------- Sometimes we're just being Humans.....But we're always Human Beings. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cindee 0 #8 September 28, 2003 Your mom sounds like quite a character. I'm sure she is lots of fun. __________________________________________________ "If happy little bluebirds fly above the rainbow, why oh why can't I?" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
