Zeemax 0 #1 October 1, 2003 All taken from Peter Kay (you'll probably have to be british to know who he is, or find him funny, but these made me laugh!) saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it. I said, 'Thyroid problem?' When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realised that The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me. My mom was a ventriloquist and she always was throwing her voice. For ten years I thought the dog was telling me to kill my father. I've often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming. I was doing some decorating, so I got out my step-ladder. I don't get on with my real ladder. I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance. Well I was bullied at school, called all kinds of different names. But one day I turned to my bullies and said - 'Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me', and it worked! From there on it was sticks and stones all the way. My Dad used to say 'always fight fire with fire', which is probably why he got thrown out of the the fire brigade. Sex is like a game of bridge: If you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand. I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, Six should be enough.' If we aren't supposed to eat animals, then why are they made out of meat? I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers. You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither. Politicians are wonderful people as long as they stay away from things they don't understand, such as working for a living. I was the kid next door's imaginary friend. Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.Phoenix Fly - High performance wingsuits for skydiving and BASE Performance Designs - Simply brilliant canopies Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jfields 0 #2 October 1, 2003 Some of those are really good. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Zeemax 0 #3 October 1, 2003 QuoteYou know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither. made me cry with laughter.. Phoenix Fly - High performance wingsuits for skydiving and BASE Performance Designs - Simply brilliant canopies Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites jfields 0 #4 October 1, 2003 That and the thyroid problem one. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites pa2themd 0 #5 October 1, 2003 LMAO.. very good!! "Most of us can read the writing on the wall; we just assume it's addressed to someone else!" Ivern Ball Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites txblondie 0 #6 October 1, 2003 When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realised that The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me. Sex is like a game of bridge: If you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand. Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before. My personal favorites...thanks, good for a laugh! ***************************************** Blondes do have more fun! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zeemax 0 #3 October 1, 2003 QuoteYou know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither. made me cry with laughter.. Phoenix Fly - High performance wingsuits for skydiving and BASE Performance Designs - Simply brilliant canopies Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jfields 0 #4 October 1, 2003 That and the thyroid problem one. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pa2themd 0 #5 October 1, 2003 LMAO.. very good!! "Most of us can read the writing on the wall; we just assume it's addressed to someone else!" Ivern Ball Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
txblondie 0 #6 October 1, 2003 When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realised that The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me. Sex is like a game of bridge: If you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand. Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before. My personal favorites...thanks, good for a laugh! ***************************************** Blondes do have more fun! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 226 #7 October 1, 2003 Nice.. Guess..... LMAO!I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
