EricaH 0 #1 September 30, 2003 He said . . . I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it. She said . . . You wear pants don't you? -------------------------------------------------------- He said . . .. Since I first laid eyes on you, I've wanted to make love to you really badly. She said . . . Well, you succeeded! -------------------------------------------------------- He said . . . Shall we try swapping positions tonight? She said... That's a good idea -- you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart! -------------------------------------------------------- He said . . . What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you? She said . . .Turn sideways and look in the mirror! -------------------------------------------------------- He said...Why don't you tell me when you have an orgasm? She said... I would but you're never there. -------------------------------------------------------- On a wall in a ladies room . . . "My husband follows me everywhere" Written just below it . . . "I do not" -------------------------------------------------------- Q. How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes? A. Both of them. -------------------------------------------------------- Q. What do men and sperm have in common? A. They both have a one-in-a-million chance of becoming a human being. -------------------------------------------------------- Q. How does a man show that he is planning for the future? A. He buys two cases of beer. -------------------------------------------------------- Q. What is the difference between men and government bonds? A. The bonds mature. -------------------------------------------------------- Q. Why are blonde jokes so short? A. So men can remember them. -------------------------------------------------------- Q. Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring &good-looking? A. They already have boyfriends. -------------------------------------------------------- Q. What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night? A. A widow. -------------------------------------------------------- Q. Why are married women heavier than single women? A. Single women come home, see what's in the fridge, and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed, and go to the fridge. -------------------------------------------------------- Man says to God: "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?" God says: "So you would love her." "But God," the man says. "Why did you make her so dumb?" God says: "So she would love you." -------------------------------------------------------- SEND THIS TO A SMART WOMAN WHO NEEDS A LAUGH AND TO THE GUYS YOU THINK CAN HANDLE IT There is no can't. Only lack of knowledge or fear. Only you can fix your fear. PMS #227 (just like the TV show) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wingnut 0 #2 October 1, 2003 heard this one at the dz... Q. why do women wear makeup and perfume? A. cuz women are ugly and smell bad..... ______________________________________ "i have no reader's digest version" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Gawain 0 #3 October 1, 2003 *LOL*... They're all funny, but that one got me good.So I try and I scream and I beg and I sigh Just to prove I'm alive, and it's alright 'Cause tonight there's a way I'll make light of my treacherous life Make light! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Canuck278 0 #4 October 1, 2003 Q:why do women have 3 more brain cells than a cow?? A: So they don't shit on the floor while doing the dishes Steve Therapy is expensive, popping bubble wrap is cheap. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
moodyskydiver 0 #5 October 1, 2003 I met a guy once who actually admitted that women were superior.I asked him why he thought so and he said "Well its simple, women have 1/2 the money and all the pussy and once you have all the pussy its just a matter of time before you have all the money too." "...just an earthbound misfit, I." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pds 0 #6 October 1, 2003 you know chris rock?! that's cool! lolnamaste, motherfucker. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Canuck278 0 #7 October 1, 2003 Steve Therapy is expensive, popping bubble wrap is cheap. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #8 October 1, 2003 QuoteQ. How does a man show that he is planning for the future? A. He buys two cases of beer. It is a good thing that men are around to make the crucial decisions. What would they do without us? Constant turmoil is the only answer. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
loudtom 5 #9 October 1, 2003 I'd respond but my wife is busy and can't tell me what to say!!!tom #90 #54 #08 and now #5 with a Bronze :-) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
moodyskydiver 0 #10 October 1, 2003 Quoteyou know chris rock?! that's cool! lol Nah,this guy was just quoting stuff in a bar. "...just an earthbound misfit, I." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
