How man calories do you burn?

[ifics 0]

REMOVING HER CLOTHES:
With her consent...............................12 Calories
Without her consent..........................2187 Calories

OPENING HER BRA:
With both hands.......................... ......8 Calories
With one hand............................ .....12 Calories
With your teeth.......................... ....485 Calories

PUTTING ON A CONDOM:
With an erection......................... ......6 Calories
Without an erection...................... ...3315 Calories

PRELIMINARIES:
Trying to find the clitoris.............. .8 Calories
Trying to find the G-Spot................ ...4092 Calories

POSITIONS:
Missionary..................................12 Calories
69 lying down..................................78 Calories
69 standing up................................812 Calories
Wheelbarrow...................................216 Calories
Doggy Style...................................326 Calories
Italian chandelier...........................2912 Calories

ORGASMS:
Real.................................... .112 Calories
Fake.........................................1315 Calories

POST ORGASM:
Lying in bed hugging..................................................18
Calories
Getting up immediately..............................................36
Calories
Explaining why you got out of bed immediately........,..816 Calories

GETTING A SECOND ERECTION:
If you are:
20-29 years....................................36 Calories
30-39 years....................................80 Calories
40-49 years...................................124 Calories
50-59 years..................................1972 Calories
60-69 years..................................7916 Calories
70 and over..............................Results are still pending

DRESSING AFTERWARDS:
Calmly.........................................32 Calories
In a hurry.....................................98 Calories
With her father knocking at the door.........5218 Calories
With your wife knocking at the door........13,521 Calories