EricaH 0 #1 October 22, 2003 Caviat: I do not do these things. Believe me, if I'm feeling something or have something on my mind, whom ever needs to know, does! Sometimes, I forget to turn the 'speak my mind' button off. This was a semi-funny joke e-mailed to me WORDS WOMEN USE ****************** FINE This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up. Never use "fine" to describe how a woman looks - this will cause you to have one of those arguments. FIVE MINUTES This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it's an even trade. NOTHING This means "something," and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with "Fine" GO AHEAD (With Raised Eyebrows! ) This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine" GO AHEAD (Normal Eyebrows) This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care" You will get a "Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off. LOUD SIGH This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment, and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing" SOFT SIGH Again, not a word, but a non-verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" mean that she is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe, and she will stay content. THAT'S OKAY This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you back for whatever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and in conjunction with a "Raised Eyebrow." GO AHEAD! At some point in the near future, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble. PLEASE DO This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance with the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay" THANKS A woman is thanking you. Do not! faint. Just say you're welcome. THANKS A LOT This is much different from "Thanks." A woman will say, "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have offended her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh.." Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh," as she will only tell you "Nothing" Send this to the men you know to warn them about future arguments they can avoid if they remember the terminology! There is no can't. Only lack of knowledge or fear. Only you can fix your fear. PMS #227 (just like the TV show) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 226 #2 October 22, 2003 I don't get it. You mean that there are alternate meanings to words. This looks like an instruction manual, I'm not supposed to read those.I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
WrongWay 0 #3 October 22, 2003 Okay, really, do women HAVE to use code words??? Does it make them feel like they're in a secret society or something???? Wrong Way D #27371 Mal Manera Rodriguez Cajun Chicken Ø Hellfish #451 The wiser wolf prevails. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freeflybella 0 #4 October 22, 2003 QuoteThis looks like an instruction manual, I'm not supposed to read those. That's exactly right, honey. You just put all your love and trust in the girl. If she uses her powers for bad things, run away. If she uses them for good things, realize how lucky you are and do everything you can to deserve her. That's all you need to know. Action expresses priority. - Mahatma Ghandi Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
goose491 0 #5 October 22, 2003 QuoteOkay, really, do women HAVE to use code words??? Does it make them feel like they're in a secret society or something???? Oh Jason, It's much worse than that my friend. They don't all mutually agree on these as code words... This is an Inherent characteristic in the human womans ability to communicate. My Karma ran over my Dogma!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
weegegirl 2 #6 October 22, 2003 Finally! Somebody put it in writing! Thanks. I'm going to send this to all my male friends now. I think it might provide some great insight for them. LMAO! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
WrongWay 0 #7 October 22, 2003 QuoteQuoteThis looks like an instruction manual, I'm not supposed to read those. That's exactly right, honey. You just put all your love and trust in the girl. If she uses her powers for bad things, run away. If she uses them for good things, realize how lucky you are and do everything you can to deserve her. That's all you need to know. Yeah, but riddle me this: Why put all my love and trust into the girl, then realize she's abusing it and submit myself to being broken over and over again??? Wrong Way D #27371 Mal Manera Rodriguez Cajun Chicken Ø Hellfish #451 The wiser wolf prevails. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 226 #8 October 22, 2003 That's the rules. It just works that way. It's the same reason you have to get ina plane, get outr of a plane, pull your PC, get down, and pack and do it again. It's all about the few moments of feeling wonderful, and then the BS you have to endure to get those few moments again.I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
WrongWay 0 #9 October 22, 2003 QuoteThat's the rules. It just works that way. It's the same reason you have to get ina plane, get outr of a plane, pull your PC, get down, and pack and do it again. It's all about the few moments of feeling wonderful, and then the BS you have to endure to get those few moments again. Whoa, I've never heard it put that way before, in relation to jumping. That's a wicked cool analogy dude. Wrong Way D #27371 Mal Manera Rodriguez Cajun Chicken Ø Hellfish #451 The wiser wolf prevails. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
vonSanta 0 #10 October 22, 2003 Thanks Erica! Now if you post the remainder of the dictionary, I might actually have a chance to come away from a meeting with a female without having bruises. ... Not sure whether that's bad or good though Santa Von GrossenArsch I only come in one flavour ohwaitthatcanbemisunderst Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lawrocket 3 #11 October 22, 2003 Wow! My lady doesn't use any of these, except "Thanks" and "LOUD SIGH." The loud sigh is because I am a dork. My wife is hotter than your wife. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freeflybella 0 #12 October 22, 2003 Great analogy! Also, cause you gotta try 'em all out to the fullest! You can't expect a relationship to develop honestly when you're only giving 60% of yourself out of fear of getting hurt. At the same time, don't be a sucker! Remember to take care of yourself - don't let it get to the point where you're being abused and hurt. Be more sensitive to your own feelings and be brave enough to realize when it's going bad. We all spend WAY too much time trying to fix crappy relationships. (The right one for you is out there - she might be living in Maine right now but you'll meet her in 9 years when you both live in Arizona. You don't want to be stuck with some other chick when the right one is just about to bump into you at the grocery store!) Action expresses priority. - Mahatma Ghandi Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
riddler 0 #13 October 22, 2003 Nice list, but it could use a little beefing up. Let's just add a few phrases here: WANNA SEE MY TITS? I don't want to have sex with you, but I'm feeling insecure about my body and this is a desperate cry for physical attention. DO YOU WANT TO SLEEP HERE? Sleep, yes, sex no. I don't want to have sex with you, but I like knowing you want to have sex with me. This is a tremendous ego boost for me. You're a guy, so your ego is irrelevant. WHAT FLAVOR OF ICE CREAM WOULD YOU LIKE FOR YOUR SECOND SCOOP? I desperately want to have sex with your girlfriend, and you're not invited.Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RevJim 0 #14 October 22, 2003 THAT'S WHAT i LOVE ABOUT YOU. You are never, ever getting into my panties, but you're actually a pretty cool person. I LOVE YOU. Run. Run away fast. I have cast, and felt a tug. I am about to set the hook, and this is your last chance.It's your life, live it! Karma RB#684 "Corcho", ASK#60, Muff#3520, NCB#398, NHDZ#4, C-33989, DG#1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
WrongWay 0 #15 October 22, 2003 QuoteNice list, but it could use a little beefing up. Let's just add a few phrases here: WANNA SEE MY TITS? I don't want to have sex with you, but I'm feeling insecure about my body and this is a desperate cry for physical attention. DO YOU WANT TO SLEEP HERE? Sleep, yes, sex no. I don't want to have sex with you, but I like knowing you want to have sex with me. This is a tremendous ego boost for me. You're a guy, so your ego is irrelevant. WHAT FLAVOR OF ICE CREAM WOULD YOU LIKE FOR YOUR SECOND SCOOP? I desperately want to have sex with your girlfriend, and you're not invited. Simply genius. Wrong Way D #27371 Mal Manera Rodriguez Cajun Chicken Ø Hellfish #451 The wiser wolf prevails. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CrazyIvan 0 #16 October 22, 2003 I NEVER REALIZED YOU WERE THIS HANDSOME I just learned that you make a lot of money__________________________________________ Blue Skies and May the Force be with you. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 226 #17 October 22, 2003 I just want to be friends - Your bank account isn't quite big enough for me and you don't have the right connections, but the sex was good, so I'll lead you on for a while.I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
WrongWay 0 #18 October 22, 2003 YOU'RE SWEET I met you, thought you were cute, then realized you were a loser and will probably not see you ever again. Wrong Way D #27371 Mal Manera Rodriguez Cajun Chicken Ø Hellfish #451 The wiser wolf prevails. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CrazyIvan 0 #19 October 22, 2003 QuoteYOU'RE SWEET I met you, thought you were cute, then realized you were a loser and will probably not see you ever again. Ooooohhhh...I know this one very well. __________________________________________ Blue Skies and May the Force be with you. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
riddler 0 #20 October 22, 2003 QuoteYOU'RE SWEET Wow. I just got this one recently, and was confused. Thanks for clarifying!Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #21 October 22, 2003 QuoteThis looks like an instruction manual, I'm not supposed to read those. It would help you understand women. However, when that event occurs, your brain will explode. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CrazyIvan 0 #22 October 22, 2003 QuoteIt would help you understand women Even women don't understand themselves...save you energy.__________________________________________ Blue Skies and May the Force be with you. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 226 #23 October 22, 2003 Oh I understand them alright. It's simple... me me me me me me me.... or at the very least, Not You Not You Not You Not You Not You Not You You being not you specifically, but you get the picture.I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nightingale 0 #24 October 22, 2003 here's a few more, courtesy of a forward my lil bro sent me. "I'M NOT UPSET!" = Of course I’m upset, you moron! "YOU'RE SO MANLY" = You need a shave and you sweat a lot. "TURN OUT THE LIGHTS, ITS ROMANTIC" = I have flabby thighs. "I WANT NEW CURTAINS" = ...and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper..... "HANG THE PICTURE THERE!" = NO, I mean hang it there...no there...no, maybe over there! "HOW MUCH DO YOU LOVE ME?" = I did something today you’re really not going to like. "I'LL JUST BE A MINUTE!" = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV. "DO I LOOK FAT IN THIS?" = Tell me I’m beautiful. "ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?" = Too late, you’re dead. "I'M NOT YELLING!" = Yes I am yelling because I think this is important. "ITS NOT YOU, ITS ME" = its not me, it's you. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CrazyIvan 0 #25 October 22, 2003 What about this one: THIS HOUSE NEEDS A WOMAN'S TOUCH I need room to put all my shit like truckloads of shoes, stupid fluffy curtains, tampons holders, panty hoses, and pictures of all my cats so move you shit out of my way or move out(*). (*) Regardless of that perhaps she's the one who moved in with you.__________________________________________ Blue Skies and May the Force be with you. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
