Rdutch 0 #1 October 30, 2003 Today my good friend Bob tells me, he see's me as a lonely old man. I hear it all the time from my Borther, Mother, friends ect. Why are you single? Im not particularly an ugly man, but I wouldnt call myself attractive, and for some reason, I have met and dated a few women. Here is my reason, and I want to know if you agree, disagree or if you are the same way. Im single, because I want to be with someone I want to be with. I have wasted so much time with girls that I didnt want to be with, or should I say incompatible with. Most of the time I was with someone, was based on the fact that I had to be with someone ie: afraid to be alone, now that I am comfortable with myself, and being alone is no big deal, my friends and family decide to tell me something is wrong. Is it wrong to hold out, and wait to find the someone you look forward to see when you go home? Im looking for the girl I want to miss, or the one person, I want to see before I go to sleep, and wake up. The one person that understands me (almost impossible) as well as I understand her. Now this is almost impossible, but I see it everyday with people I know. What do you think, is that someone out there for everyone, or do you just settle and date the next person that is interested in you? I think waiting for the right person is the best, quality not quantity. Heck my brother and his wife dont get along at all, I want to look forward to going home, not have it be something I want to avoid. Is there something wrong with me? Is this too much to ask? Im not so picky I just want a real person with real Ideas and a real attitude. What do you think?? Ray Small and fast what every girl dreams of! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Keith 0 #2 October 30, 2003 I totally agree with you. I get the same thing all the time. I'm waiting for the right guy. I like being single, and I'm sure I'll like being coupled with the right guy. I just haven't found him and I'm not willing to settle. Stick to your guns and tell everyone when you find the right woman you'll let them know.Keith Don't Fuck with me Keith - J. Mandeville Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CrazyIvan 0 #3 October 30, 2003 Nothing wrong with you my brother, I'm the same way, most of my friends are married, so are my brothers and sister, guys like us see the world in a different way that's all, and if you want to know if I am happy...YES, I am happy. when I was younger I was a freaking rabbit (if you know what I mean) but then after a while you get tired and bored and start searching for something 'meaningful', sometimes you succeed sometimes you don't, but life goes on, so, why 'force' something just to be like 'everyone else'?, I don't believe in that. Just enjoy life.__________________________________________ Blue Skies and May the Force be with you. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
marks 0 #4 October 30, 2003 i hear ya man... im the same way no worries... be yourself and do cool shit that makes you happy and you will meet your mate! i was looking and now im just going through life doing the things i wanna do and i will meet her when she crosses my path!.... or when our paths come together... dont worry your not alone your one that is going to be very very happy when you find her.... // dont give in because you might want to be with some certain women... but hold out till you know you want to be with some certain woman... then you will be both very very happy peeps later... mark Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
marcandalysse 0 #5 October 30, 2003 Ray, I promise you, many of the ladies at zhills were commenting about those dreamy eyes.... they're out there..... alysse you can wait for that special miss, and can still have fun ya know marc "The reason angels can fly is that they take themselves so lightly." --GK Chesterton Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jib 0 #6 October 30, 2003 I dunno if there is a right woman, but I do know having someone isn't worth being miserable or even apathetic. Some people aren't happy with themselves; so,they think they need to be completed and are afraid to be alone. Right now, I'm having a great time and when I meet the right woman, put a fork in me. Until then, my mother can wait for grandchildren and the rest of the world can %$#@ off. -------------------------------------------------- the depth of his depravity sickens me. -- Jerry Falwell, People v. Larry Flynt Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Brains 2 #7 October 30, 2003 Dude, nothing wrong at all. I am waiting for the right girl also. My friends got married out of college and i have a roommate right now because one of my friends already got divorced. However, there isn't anything wrong with dating/trying out a few here and there to see who you are compatable with. Never look down on someone, unless they are going down on you. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Gawain 0 #8 October 30, 2003 Seems like you're right where you need to be. I can totally relate to your thinking. Actually, I find that I meet the coolest women when I'm not even looking. At least, that's been my experience.So I try and I scream and I beg and I sigh Just to prove I'm alive, and it's alright 'Cause tonight there's a way I'll make light of my treacherous life Make light! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
moodyskydiver 0 #9 October 30, 2003 I agree. I've had offers for relationships,dates and even 2 engagements, but I don't want to settle. I want to be happy with someone that I can't wait to rush home to and vice versa. Even though I have a prob w/hating being alone I still won't settle just to be in a relationship and not be alone.It is a bit on the hopeless romantic side and I know some of those feelings/ideas fade after you've been with someone long enough but its still there.Will I find that person? I don't know.I'll just have to wait and see. "...just an earthbound misfit, I." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kdsosso 0 #10 October 30, 2003 Personally, I think you've got it right! Those people that say that being single must make you lonely are wrong. They say it's wrong because they don't know any better and it scares them. I was with the same man for over ten years and hated going home so much that I became a workaholic and went back to school at night and on the weekends, just so I wouldn't have to be at home. I was miserable, but comfortable. I spent 10 years with someone I wasn't emotionally or physically close with. I never really realized how lonely I actually was until I left. My family can't comprehend why I'm less lonely being alone and single, but its because that's not the way they choose to live. I think that waiting until you find someone that you truly want to be with is the right idea, rather than settling and living lie (some cheat). I learned a little late, but life is too short to be so miserable. Just remember everyone has faults and every relationship has it's down moments. You have to compromise and no one is "perfect". Good luck! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jumpinjackflash 0 #11 October 30, 2003 Damn Ray. Rock ON Brotherman. I have no answers, two marriages, both down the tubes. One things for sure, you shouldn't be with someone just to be with someone. Many do, because quite honestly, it sucks to be alone. Can't fault them, just as they can't fault you for holding out. She should knock you out, and blast you out of the air... And you should her... Otherwise, why do it? It'll Happen Man, It'll Happen. JackIt's a gas, gas, gas... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
marks 0 #12 October 30, 2003 QuoteDamn Ray. Rock ON Brotherman. I have no answers, two marriages, both down the tubes. One things for sure, you shouldn't be with someone just to be with someone. Many do, because quite honestly, it sucks to be alone. Can't fault them, just as they can't fault you for holding out. She should knock you out, and blast you out of the air... And you should her... Otherwise, why do it? It'll Happen Man, It'll Happen. Jack right on! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jessica 0 #13 October 30, 2003 QuoteUntil then, my mother can wait for grandchildren and the rest of the world can %$#@ off. Heh! I just did a spit-take of my root beer. That's exactly what I think too.Skydiving is for cool people only Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sara85 0 #14 October 30, 2003 I totally agree.Very well put, Hang in there you will find the right person....... It will be well worth the wait. Nothing wrong in being single. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
flygirl03 0 #15 October 30, 2003 Ray, There is nothing wrong with you not wanting to be with someone just for the sake of having someone. Do what is best for you and don't worry about what others say. I was married 25 years to a man I THOUGHT was it. After about 15 years it was over, but we had kids and TOO many people LOVED him...my friends my family, I lived in such guilt over not wanting to be with him and not loving him when everyone else thought he was perfect. I didn't want to go home to him, or wake up with him "IT" just wasn't there. Our divorce was final 9/3/02. I have had the most WONDERFUL year of my life. Met Tons of new friends, completed my private pilot rating and have logged over 100 hours since then flying to new places and meeting new people. I just took my first AFF jump on 9/28. Made 4 more jumps since then. Do I still believe there is someone out there for me?? Yes, but I don't intend to sit around and waste anymore of my life waiting for him. If it happens...so be it. Until then I intend to live for ME. I don't care that my friends want to "fix me up" I am happier now than I have been in my whole life. Sorry to ramble. Bottom line, Do what makes YOU happy. Good luck Cin ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ earthbound misfit Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RkyMtnHigh 0 #16 October 30, 2003 Hey cutie patootie! Don't settle..who cares what "others" think! It's YOUR life, not theirs! Remember: Everything happens for a reason and good or bad as it seems at the time, it gets you to the best part of your life and you'll be soo happy! It's worth the wait, sunshine! _________________________________________ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RkyMtnHigh 0 #17 October 30, 2003 I'm in my "midlife crisis" whatever that means... It's OK to be self centered and LIVE YOUR LIFE!! All about YOU now! Once you focus on YOU, then all of the rest will fall into place. Only YOU can make YOU happy and complete..then, you can "make room" for someone to share that with you.. Hugs, K _________________________________________ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RkyMtnHigh 0 #18 October 30, 2003 Good attitude! You're about the be the happiest person ever..you have your priorities STRAIGHT! _________________________________________ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patman 0 #19 October 30, 2003 If I hear my family one more time at Holidays telling me they have someone I have to meet, I"M GOING TO KILL! Now, you single ladies out there, reading this, what are you doing for Christmas? Don't tell me I can't! I already know that! Haven't you seen my x-rays? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Skyrose7 0 #20 October 30, 2003 I hear it all the time that I should settle down from family, friends, etc. There is opportunity, but, I am the same way as you that I don't want to waste time on a relationship that isn't right. I figure, if I am in a relationship that I know isn't right, I could be missing something that IS. I really enjoy being single. You can do whatever you want, whenever you want.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The mind is like a parachute--it works better when it is open. JUMP. MaryRose Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Muenkel 0 #21 October 30, 2003 Ray, I don't know your age, but I hear ya buddy. I am 40 (look and act much younger for the skyladies who are reading this.) and I am still not married. I have 7 brothers and sisters who all are married. So, I get the usual from my aunts "when are you going to find the right girl and settle down?" When I was 27, I was totally in love and ready to pop the question. Then she cheated on me and I realized that the love was one-sided. I still know her and in hindsight I realize she did me a favor. Now I look at her and ask myself what I ever saw in her. The toughest part is I do want that special lady to spend the rest of my life with and love more than my own life. I also want my own kids desperately. But I am not willing to just settle for the sake of being married. In my gut, I do believe that woman is out there. I just have to live my life and take one day at a time. Why I had to wait so long, I'll never know. But I do know that it will be worth the wait. Best of luck to you. And remember, be yourself and enjoy life. You never know when that special lady is going to enter it. Blue skies bro, Chris _________________________________________ Chris Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Squeak 17 #22 October 30, 2003 Ivan loose the black cowl and plastice light sabre, thiings will improve Seriously though, i felt the same way all through my early to mid 20's everyone was getting married and having Deep and meaningful relationships except me. I met my wife whilst I wasn't looking, I had reached a point where i figured 'Fu%$k it if it ever happens it will. Then one night whilst out with a mate I met Kas, we got on ok and i ask for her number, mostly because I thought she was pretty cool. Kas is not even "my type". I have a visual preferance for tall slender redheads with big racks and out there attitudes. apart from the rack Kas looks nothing like that, but she is my love, we have been together near 16 years, and I'm certain if I was "actively"looking for a girlfriend when we met, Kas would not have been the one I chose. Enjoy your life in the here and now, dont worry what may or may not happen in the future.You are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky) My Life ROCKS! How's yours doing? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
batbex 0 #23 October 30, 2003 Yet another person who thinks you're absolutely completely right. I'm only 22, my two roomates(female) don't seem to be able to function on their own and leave one long term relationship only to find themselves immediately in another, two of my close friends are already married(yeah I wonder how long that will last?!) I don't beleive in the whole one person for everyone thing - there's probably a whole lot of people out their which you'd be potentially compatable with, I would be premanently single as I'm much happier like that and tend never to meet said compatable people - but in fairness there's only so long you can go without sex and a boyfriend does = sex on tap, harsh but fair Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freeflybella 0 #24 October 30, 2003 Hi! Are you dating at all? Or are you a serial single? I only ask because I think there is some confusion between dating and committing to a relationship. Just because someone dates around and dates many girls doesn't mean they have to be miserable. You can still look for the 'right' girl and have fun meeting and enjoying the company of women. But that's the key - you have to have the time and inclination to want to go out and meet and enjoy the company of many women. Some, may feel it's a waste of time (especially when they could be skydiving) - and there is nothing wrong at all with that. That's just having your priorities in order. For me, dating alot before finding the right one was important - There were certain relationship skills and issues that was able to work on/through that shaped me into who I am. Shaped me into the 'right' woman for my man. Just food for thought. I totally agree that you shouldn't be 'miserable' just to have someone in your life. It's your life, live it for you. Action expresses priority. - Mahatma Ghandi Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
WrongWay 0 #25 October 30, 2003 Ray, I think you just described what every person on the planet wants and needs. I too am looking for the kind of girl you are, and the kind of relationship you are, but can't find someone I'm genuinely dying to spend my life with. Give it time, and give it patience. Once you stop looking, she'll come along, practically showing up on your doorstep. It's when you stop looking that she's gonna be right under your nose. Just wait for it pal, we all have our turn at "the one", it's just for time to decide when. Oh, and it might help if you stop hanging around DJ too. Wrong Way D #27371 Mal Manera Rodriguez Cajun Chicken Ø Hellfish #451 The wiser wolf prevails. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
