goose491 0 #1 November 5, 2003 A WIFE'S NEEDS A married couple is driving along a highway doing a steady forty miles per hour. The wife is behind the wheel. Her husband suddenly looks across at her and speaks in a clear voice. "Darling," he says. "I know we've been married for twenty years, but I want a divorce." The wife says nothing, keeps looking at the road ahead but slowly Increases her speed to 45 mph. The husband speaks again. "I don't want you to try and talk me out of it! ," he says, "because I've been having an affair with your best friend, and she's a far better lover than you are." Again the wife stays quiet, but grips the steering wheel more tightly and slowly increases the speed to 55 mph. He pushes his luck. "I want the house," he says insistently. Up to 60. I want the car, too," he continues. 65 mph. "And," he says, "I'll have the bank accounts, all the credit cards and the boat." The car slowly starts veering towards a massive concrete flyover. This makes him a wee bit nervous, so he asks her, "Isn't there anything you want?" The wife at last replies - in a quiet and controlled voice, "No, I've got everything I need." she says. "Oh, really?" he inquires, "So what have you got?" Just before they slam into the wall at 80 mph, the wife turns to him and smiles. "The airbag." My Karma ran over my Dogma!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sheenster303 0 #2 November 5, 2003 Ha! That's funny. That's what that loser gets! I wish I would have the guts to do something like that. SheenaI'm so funny I crack my head open! P.M.S. #102 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bmcd308 0 #3 November 5, 2003 A bloke is driving happily along in his car with his girlfriend when he's pulled over by the Police. The police officer approaches him and asks: "Have you been drinking Sir?" "Why?" asks the man, "Was I driving badly?" "No" replies the Officer, "You were driving splendidly. It was the ugly fat bird in the passenger seat that made me suspicious" ---------------------------------- www.jumpelvis.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bmcd308 0 #4 November 5, 2003 The husband emerged from the bathroom naked and was climbing into bed, when his wife complained, as usual, "I have a headache". "Perfect," her husband said. "I was just in the bathroom powdering my d*ck with aspirin. You can take it orally or as a suppository, it's up to you!!!" ---------------------------------- www.jumpelvis.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Casie 0 #5 November 5, 2003 OUCH!!!!!!!!!!!~Porn Kitty WARNING: Goldschlager causes extreme emotional outbursts! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
goose491 0 #6 November 5, 2003 Ooooh-Yeeeeah! I think I just might have to use that asprin-powdered dick-trick sometime. Hehehe that was funny. My Karma ran over my Dogma!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
selbbub78 0 #7 November 5, 2003 That's funny. A good way to make today a semi alright day at work. "Women fake orgasms - men fake whole relationships" – Sharon Stone "The world is my dropzone" (wise crewdog quote) "The light dims, until full darkness pierces into the world."-KDM Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KolibrieLinda 0 #8 November 5, 2003 QuoteA WIFE'S NEEDS Just before they slam into the wall at 80 mph, the wife turns to him and smiles. "The airbag." Yeah girlpower!!! But I wish you hadn't told about the powdered d#k, because now I can never use that excuse anymore...... Wait I've never used it actually. Isn't there any way we can do the same for the guys? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ReLLiK75 0 #9 November 5, 2003 Damn! That was a good one! __________________________________________ Have you Got Flare? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites