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Brodes

Tell or not to tell parents

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HEy people! My parents know that i want to skydive, but im wondering if i should tell them the exact weekend i do my AFF1, or just tell them afterwards...i really dont think that theyll think ill go through with it. I think it would be cool to go home one weekend and say 'i skydived last weekend' hehe

should i tell them in case 'something goes wrong'?

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My mother came out and watched me make my first jump. Her heart was in her throat, but I was an adult at the time (20 and completely self-supporting), so it was completely a choice.

I'd say tell them unless they'll try to guilt you and take up space in your brain to get you to stop. But maybe they'll come out, take pictures, and end up making a jump themselves.

Wendy W.
There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown)

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I really think it's a good idea to tell them you plan on doing a jump. You've got to have someone on your emergency call list. So to forwarn them in the event of a tragic accident would be smart.

***VIBES**** my lil skydiving brother!! Nothing shall go wrong :)



"Find out just what any people will quietly submit to and you have found out the exact measure of injustice and wrong which will be imposed upon them."

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Do what one of our jumpers did. Wait till she had about 50 jumps to tell her folks. She's been on her own for a while, is married with a child, but the parents still flipped, that's why she waited so long to tell them.
--"When I die, may I be surrounded by scattered chrome and burning gasoline."

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All depends on how you expect them to react and how much you care how they react. I have one friend that was ready to jump in college. He signed up for AFF and everything. Then he told his mom and she threatened to stop paying his college tuition. His jumping career ended before it started.

On the other hand, I doubt his mom would have really cut off his tuition, so if he didn't mind pissing her off, he could have gone anyway. And if he did go anyway, I think his mom would have been much more pissed if he went without telling her beforehand.

I took another friend for a tandem jump once. Her parents weren't thrilled, but they weren't going to stop her. They did buy her life insurance beforehand though! (not even kidding)

Dave

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Nah, ive been riding too-fast sportbikes since i was 16 my mum is used to be toying around with death they donbt mind the idea of me jumping, they jkust think ill be too shit scared to go through with it, i cant wait to see the look on their faces hehe :)

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Do what one of our jumpers did. Wait till she had about 50 jumps to tell her folks. She's been on her own for a while, is married with a child, but the parents still flipped, that's why she waited so long to tell them.



i would also flip if my kids didnt tell>:(

hey why hide? just tell them as it is.. you want to do this,tell them why,they might dont understand but they sure will respect your choise more than if youll try to hide it..

examble:

IF(and lets hope not) that you are injuryed while skydiving,how will you then explain???

go be honnest it will last longest..;)

Stay safe
Stefan Faber

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I wrote this a while back. While it's about BASE jumping (rather than skydiving), many of the same general principles apply. There have been several (I can think of four in the last three years) very nasty cases of family legal action (or threatened legal action) following fatalities of low time BASE jumpers.

My advice (which is obvious from the following): TELL THEM NOW. And do it in as mature a manner as possible.


Quote


A Question of Ethics: Death in the Family

It seems like every time one of us goes in, the community faces criticism and anger from the world at large.

Worse, though, is the criticism leveled at us by the family and friends of our fallen companion. At exactly the same time that we are mourning the death of our jumping partner and friend, we have to deal with the accusations and rage of our partner’s friends.

How could we avoid this “second strike”?

I believe that responsibility dictates that each of us explain ourselves, our sport and our motivations to our families. We owe this to the sport, and to our jumping mates.

This is obviously an extremely difficult proposition. Facing your family with your decision to engage in a life-threatening activity cannot be easy. But the rewards of having this discussion with them are huge, both for yourself and for the sport of BASE jumping.

First, an honest, open discussion with your loved ones will make them feel more included in your decisions. They will generally be more impressed with the maturity and thought that has gone into your decision to jump. This can help avoid the arguments, tantrums, and guilt trips that might otherwise be thrown at you by family and friends who don’t understand.

Second, a frank explanation could convert some of your family and friends into allies of the BASE community at large. Motivating our family and friends to understand and appreciate BASE may not lead to legal changes, but it is certainly a step in the right direction.

And third, an explanation, by you, that you understand and accept the risks involved, will help prevent your family from attacking other members of the BASE community in the event of your injury or death.

I believe that it is the responsibility of every BASE jumper to explain BASE to their family, to make sure that their family understands the risks inherent in the sport, and to tell their family that they have chosen to take those risks of their own free will.



Sorry to inject a perhaps overly serious note here, but I do believe communicating with your family is a very serious topic.
-- Tom Aiello

Tom@SnakeRiverBASE.com
SnakeRiverBASE.com

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tell before,and take the name BASE out and put in Skydive;)on the text Tom just posted..

Í agree whith Tom that its a top priority to tell you loved once that THIS action is one YOU has desided to do becours what ever reason you have.And that you explain how you feel about it..

by the way i dunno about US but in DK its more dangerus to drive a moterbike than make a skydive,so if you explain about the safty instead of telling how dangerus it is they will understand;)

My Family knows what im up to,they know the risk,they do NOT agree but they has acsepted that thats the way i has desided to live..hope it helps..

Stay safe
Stefan Faber

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Hmm i need to clarify. My parents know i want to jump really badly, im just wondering if i should tell them the exact date of my AFF1, or suprise them with the fact that i have jumped soon afterwards :)

There was an accident at our DZ a couple years ago. There was a tandem coming in for landing upon impact the tandem didn't have his legs in the right place and broke his ankle. Badly enough to have Life Flight come out and rush him to the hospital because they couldn't get a pulse in his foot. Could have meant loosing his foot over it. Well this guy didn't tell anyone, mainly his wife he was going to go make a skydive. Try to put yourself in this guys wifes position. Would you want to get a phone call like that?


Now think about this. If something was to happen to you. How would your parents and loved ones feel if something like this was to happen. Show some respect for your parents and tell them the specifics. Let them know your going on such n such weekend to make your first AFF jump. This way if something does happen they're not completely in the dark as to what you were doing. Invite them to the DZ if that's possible, that way your including them in your desires. It is just more mature this way I think.

IMHO only...



"Find out just what any people will quietly submit to and you have found out the exact measure of injustice and wrong which will be imposed upon them."

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How 'bout a leading question like " you know I'm evantually gonna jump. would you rather have the chance to be there or just get to see the video someday".

Be there ... best tell them. Video only? The big issue is past.

I showed up at the family cottage after my FJC with the wide ass-est shit eating grin you could imagine. I also had a welt acrtoss my forehead from where I'd run into the back of the mockup :o:o (yes, I was that hyper that day).

"What did you do to your forehead Dave?", Mom asks...

"Skydiving accident", I reply. [looks of shock and horror]

"You did what"? ... and on it went. Me, blithering at related Whuffos. They, listening intently to my stories of bliss and freedom. They were never keen on my sports car racing career but this was something else again. They were happy that I'd found something I liked so much, but a bit concerned until I was finished training. I don't even know if I ever showed them the video.

My first (and only, so far) cutaway was another great moment in parent/kid relationships. Opening weekend of full season #1 , jump #20. It was only a couple of weekends later that they showed up on DZ for the first time. They arrived to see two soaking wet, muddy, white faced skydivers - it was the result of our first tandem mal in DZ history. They haven't been back but have no undue fear of the sport anymore. They're still glad I'm not sportscar racing anymore and even more glad that I've not ever spoken of buying another motorcycle (shhhhhhh.....;))

You'll be fine. Let them decide for themselves.

Dave


Life is very short and there's no time for fussing and fighting my friend (Lennon/McCartney)

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Hmm i need to clarify. My parents know i want to jump really badly, im just wondering if i should tell them the exact date of my AFF1, or suprise them with the fact that i have jumped soon afterwards :)

There was an accident at our DZ a couple years ago. There was a tandem coming in for landing upon impact the tandem didn't have his legs in the right place and broke his ankle. Badly enough to have Life Flight come out and rush him to the hospital because they couldn't get a pulse in his foot. Could have meant loosing his foot over it. Well this guy didn't tell anyone, mainly his wife he was going to go make a skydive. Try to put yourself in this guys wifes position. Would you want to get a phone call like that?


Now think about this. If something was to happen to you. How would your parents and loved ones feel if something like this was to happen. Show some respect for your parents and tell them the specifics. Let them know your going on such n such weekend to make your first AFF jump. This way if something does happen they're not completely in the dark as to what you were doing. Invite them to the DZ if that's possible, that way your including them in your desires. It is just more mature this way I think.

IMHO only...



Yeah this is along the lines why i think i will tell them specifics. My last medical i had, the Dr couldnt find a pulce in one of my feet, but he didnt worry about it! ...dodgy if you ask me ;)

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It sounds like you have a good relationship with your parents. As a mother that has a good relationship with both my sons, I would be hurt to find out that they went and did something without telling me. You have nothing to hide from them. Tell them, they may want to come out and watch.
May your trails be crooked, winding, lonesome, dangerous, leading to the most amazing view. May your mountains rise into and above the clouds. - Edward Abbey

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I didn't tell anyone beforehand because I do a lot of stuff and don't feel the need. Of course, I am older. I was scuba diving and skydiving a while before I mentioned it. It just came up in a conversation. For younger folks, I recommend telling the parents. If a SO is involved, tell him/her.

Even though my dad has done a skydive, he is not overly cool with my continued participation in the sport. He has seen my videos and watched me jump. My stepmom wanted to do a tandem, but couldn't for health reasons. She did a whitewater raft trip with me at the age of 70. B|

My sisters vary in their reaction. One loves it, one tolerates it (and hopes I'll quit), one won't watch my videos (she feels it "encourages me").

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The first question from my parents every time we talk on the phone is "did ya' jump this weekend?" They would never do it, nor would my two older siblings, but they all think it's pretty cool. I'll be in Atlanta for Turkey Day to see them and plan on having the rig with me. Figure they should experience it (the DZ energy). Probably go to Skydive Marion for any of the locals out there. (And I have a 10 year old nephew that will probably be interested in a few years, might as well get my sister used to it!)

I told them from the start and now they want to know everything.

"Never waste a heartbeat."

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