Sebazz1 2 #1 December 3, 2003 A woman driver is pulled over by a policeman: Woman: Is there a problem, Officer? Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding. Woman: Oh, I see. Officer: May I see your license please? Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one. Officer: Don't have one? Woman: Lost it for driving drunk four times. Officer: I see...May I see your vehicle registration papers please? Woman: I can't do that. Officer: Why not? Woman: I stole this car. Officer: Stole it? Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner. Officer: You what? Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see. The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A police sergeant slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun. sergeant: Ma'am, would you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle. Woman: Is there a problem sir? Sergeant: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner. Woman: Murdered the owner? Sergeant: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car please? The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk. Sergeant: Is this your car, ma'am? Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers. The first officer is quite stunned. Sergeant: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license. The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the second officer. The sergeant snaps open the clutch purse and examines the license. He looks quite puzzled. Sergeant: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner. Woman: I'll bet the lying bastard told you I was speeding too! The Moral of the Story: Women. Don't mess with them. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sebazz1 2 #2 December 3, 2003 Snow Globe Fun <------ Safe for work... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Sheenster303 0 #3 December 3, 2003 That's one of my favorite jokes. I wonder if anybody has been that clever to actually do it. They would have some serious balls.I'm so funny I crack my head open! P.M.S. #102 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites lizzieb 0 #4 December 3, 2003 that is a good one... some women have a way with cops...they almost always believe us...even if someone has spilled beer all over us to make us reek of alcohol, they think we are the sober ones and force us to drive other sober people into parking lots, right seb??? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Sebazz1 2 #5 December 3, 2003 Did anyone click on the snow globe site? http://ww12.e-tractions.com/snowglobe/globe.htm Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites lizzieb 0 #6 December 3, 2003 i clicked... i like how the ice skater dude keeps falling on his butt Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites kris12 0 #7 December 3, 2003 I like the way the people scream in enjoyment in the snow globe as you shake it. Very entertaining... kristen kristen swooo #3 MB #3587 P.M.S. #66 "so let go, jump in...what're you waiting for? it's all right 'cause there's beauty in the breakdown" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites RevJim 0 #8 December 3, 2003 BWAHAHAHA The man eating snowman is hilarious!It's your life, live it! Karma RB#684 "Corcho", ASK#60, Muff#3520, NCB#398, NHDZ#4, C-33989, DG#1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites sunshine 2 #9 December 3, 2003 Yay, seb is back. You snuck out of the closet again eh? ___________________________________________ meow I get a Mike hug! I get a Mike hug! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites kai2k1 0 #10 December 3, 2003 That one's funny!! There's no truer sense of flying than sky diving," Scott Cowan Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Lee03 0 #11 December 3, 2003 Thanks for posting these. I've had a somewhat less than good day. Needed something to cheer me up... make me laugh. Thanks -------- To put your life in danger from time to time ... breeds a saneness in dealing with day-to-day trivialities. --Nevil Shute, Slide Rule Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites DJatLarge 0 #12 December 3, 2003 I"ll be sending that to my Mom later kinda like all the elf bowling games!!! fun times!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites crapflinger2000 1 #13 December 3, 2003 The joke and the snowglobe both suck ass! __________________________________________________ What would Vic Mackey do? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites DJatLarge 0 #14 December 3, 2003 I still like the snowglobe!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites pop 0 #15 December 3, 2003 QuoteDid anyone click on the snow globe site? http://ww12.e-tractions.com/snowglobe/globe.htm this is hilarious7 ounce wonders, music and dogs that are not into beer Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Sebazz1 2 #16 December 3, 2003 gee gork is being really mean to me? I wonder what I could have done to piss him off? Maybe when I told him his swoop sucked ass a couple of weeks ago... maybe he took that personally? Or all the seagulls and seals have migrated south for the winter and he has nothing else to torment? Oh well... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites crapflinger2000 1 #17 December 3, 2003 ummm... you did see the at the bottom, right? I was just playin, in you are not just playin (I see your )! I don't care about my swoops so much. I figure if I can't be 100% with straight ins, I better tone it down. Remember a few weeks back when hook turns were banned for a day? Every landing I was like, "Shit, I am gonna hit the fence and I am not even hookin it!" __________________________________________________ What would Vic Mackey do? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites TheAnvil 0 #18 December 3, 2003 A woman is pulled over by a State Policeman: State Policeman: May I see your license and registration please, ma'am? Chick: I'd wager you need those to sell me a ticket to the State Policeman's Ball, right? State Policeman: State Policemen don't have balls ma'am. Chick smiles sweetly. State Policeman gets in car and drives off. Vinny the Anvil Post Traumatic Didn't Make The Lakers Syndrome is REAL JACKASS POWER!!!!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites crapflinger2000 1 #19 December 3, 2003 that one sucked ass too! bah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 __________________________________________________ What would Vic Mackey do? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Sebazz1 2 #20 December 3, 2003 question: What did the bra say to the hat? answer: You go on ahead I'll give these two a lift... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Yoshi 0 #21 December 3, 2003 what? ohh what did the bra ever say?_________________________________________ this space for rent. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Join the conversation You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account. Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible. 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Sheenster303 0 #3 December 3, 2003 That's one of my favorite jokes. I wonder if anybody has been that clever to actually do it. They would have some serious balls.I'm so funny I crack my head open! P.M.S. #102 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lizzieb 0 #4 December 3, 2003 that is a good one... some women have a way with cops...they almost always believe us...even if someone has spilled beer all over us to make us reek of alcohol, they think we are the sober ones and force us to drive other sober people into parking lots, right seb??? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sebazz1 2 #5 December 3, 2003 Did anyone click on the snow globe site? http://ww12.e-tractions.com/snowglobe/globe.htm Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites lizzieb 0 #6 December 3, 2003 i clicked... i like how the ice skater dude keeps falling on his butt Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites kris12 0 #7 December 3, 2003 I like the way the people scream in enjoyment in the snow globe as you shake it. Very entertaining... kristen kristen swooo #3 MB #3587 P.M.S. #66 "so let go, jump in...what're you waiting for? it's all right 'cause there's beauty in the breakdown" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites RevJim 0 #8 December 3, 2003 BWAHAHAHA The man eating snowman is hilarious!It's your life, live it! Karma RB#684 "Corcho", ASK#60, Muff#3520, NCB#398, NHDZ#4, C-33989, DG#1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites sunshine 2 #9 December 3, 2003 Yay, seb is back. You snuck out of the closet again eh? ___________________________________________ meow I get a Mike hug! I get a Mike hug! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites kai2k1 0 #10 December 3, 2003 That one's funny!! There's no truer sense of flying than sky diving," Scott Cowan Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Lee03 0 #11 December 3, 2003 Thanks for posting these. I've had a somewhat less than good day. Needed something to cheer me up... make me laugh. Thanks -------- To put your life in danger from time to time ... breeds a saneness in dealing with day-to-day trivialities. --Nevil Shute, Slide Rule Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites DJatLarge 0 #12 December 3, 2003 I"ll be sending that to my Mom later kinda like all the elf bowling games!!! fun times!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites crapflinger2000 1 #13 December 3, 2003 The joke and the snowglobe both suck ass! __________________________________________________ What would Vic Mackey do? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites DJatLarge 0 #14 December 3, 2003 I still like the snowglobe!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites pop 0 #15 December 3, 2003 QuoteDid anyone click on the snow globe site? http://ww12.e-tractions.com/snowglobe/globe.htm this is hilarious7 ounce wonders, music and dogs that are not into beer Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Sebazz1 2 #16 December 3, 2003 gee gork is being really mean to me? I wonder what I could have done to piss him off? Maybe when I told him his swoop sucked ass a couple of weeks ago... maybe he took that personally? Or all the seagulls and seals have migrated south for the winter and he has nothing else to torment? Oh well... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites crapflinger2000 1 #17 December 3, 2003 ummm... you did see the at the bottom, right? I was just playin, in you are not just playin (I see your )! I don't care about my swoops so much. I figure if I can't be 100% with straight ins, I better tone it down. Remember a few weeks back when hook turns were banned for a day? Every landing I was like, "Shit, I am gonna hit the fence and I am not even hookin it!" __________________________________________________ What would Vic Mackey do? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites TheAnvil 0 #18 December 3, 2003 A woman is pulled over by a State Policeman: State Policeman: May I see your license and registration please, ma'am? Chick: I'd wager you need those to sell me a ticket to the State Policeman's Ball, right? State Policeman: State Policemen don't have balls ma'am. Chick smiles sweetly. State Policeman gets in car and drives off. Vinny the Anvil Post Traumatic Didn't Make The Lakers Syndrome is REAL JACKASS POWER!!!!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites crapflinger2000 1 #19 December 3, 2003 that one sucked ass too! bah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 __________________________________________________ What would Vic Mackey do? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Sebazz1 2 #20 December 3, 2003 question: What did the bra say to the hat? answer: You go on ahead I'll give these two a lift... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Yoshi 0 #21 December 3, 2003 what? ohh what did the bra ever say?_________________________________________ this space for rent. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Join the conversation You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account. Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible. Reply to this topic... × Pasted as rich text. Paste as plain text instead Only 75 emoji are allowed. × Your link has been automatically embedded. Display as a link instead × Your previous content has been restored. Clear editor × You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL. Insert image from URL × Desktop Tablet Phone Submit Reply 0
lizzieb 0 #6 December 3, 2003 i clicked... i like how the ice skater dude keeps falling on his butt Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kris12 0 #7 December 3, 2003 I like the way the people scream in enjoyment in the snow globe as you shake it. Very entertaining... kristen kristen swooo #3 MB #3587 P.M.S. #66 "so let go, jump in...what're you waiting for? it's all right 'cause there's beauty in the breakdown" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RevJim 0 #8 December 3, 2003 BWAHAHAHA The man eating snowman is hilarious!It's your life, live it! Karma RB#684 "Corcho", ASK#60, Muff#3520, NCB#398, NHDZ#4, C-33989, DG#1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sunshine 2 #9 December 3, 2003 Yay, seb is back. You snuck out of the closet again eh? ___________________________________________ meow I get a Mike hug! I get a Mike hug! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kai2k1 0 #10 December 3, 2003 That one's funny!! There's no truer sense of flying than sky diving," Scott Cowan Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lee03 0 #11 December 3, 2003 Thanks for posting these. I've had a somewhat less than good day. Needed something to cheer me up... make me laugh. Thanks -------- To put your life in danger from time to time ... breeds a saneness in dealing with day-to-day trivialities. --Nevil Shute, Slide Rule Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DJatLarge 0 #12 December 3, 2003 I"ll be sending that to my Mom later kinda like all the elf bowling games!!! fun times!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
crapflinger2000 1 #13 December 3, 2003 The joke and the snowglobe both suck ass! __________________________________________________ What would Vic Mackey do? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DJatLarge 0 #14 December 3, 2003 I still like the snowglobe!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pop 0 #15 December 3, 2003 QuoteDid anyone click on the snow globe site? http://ww12.e-tractions.com/snowglobe/globe.htm this is hilarious7 ounce wonders, music and dogs that are not into beer Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sebazz1 2 #16 December 3, 2003 gee gork is being really mean to me? I wonder what I could have done to piss him off? Maybe when I told him his swoop sucked ass a couple of weeks ago... maybe he took that personally? Or all the seagulls and seals have migrated south for the winter and he has nothing else to torment? Oh well... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
crapflinger2000 1 #17 December 3, 2003 ummm... you did see the at the bottom, right? I was just playin, in you are not just playin (I see your )! I don't care about my swoops so much. I figure if I can't be 100% with straight ins, I better tone it down. Remember a few weeks back when hook turns were banned for a day? Every landing I was like, "Shit, I am gonna hit the fence and I am not even hookin it!" __________________________________________________ What would Vic Mackey do? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TheAnvil 0 #18 December 3, 2003 A woman is pulled over by a State Policeman: State Policeman: May I see your license and registration please, ma'am? Chick: I'd wager you need those to sell me a ticket to the State Policeman's Ball, right? State Policeman: State Policemen don't have balls ma'am. Chick smiles sweetly. State Policeman gets in car and drives off. Vinny the Anvil Post Traumatic Didn't Make The Lakers Syndrome is REAL JACKASS POWER!!!!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
crapflinger2000 1 #19 December 3, 2003 that one sucked ass too! bah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 __________________________________________________ What would Vic Mackey do? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sebazz1 2 #20 December 3, 2003 question: What did the bra say to the hat? answer: You go on ahead I'll give these two a lift... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Yoshi 0 #21 December 3, 2003 what? ohh what did the bra ever say?_________________________________________ this space for rent. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
