TB99 0 #1 December 11, 2003 To All Concerned From Santa Claus: I regret to inform you that, effective immediately, I will no longer serve the States of Georgia, Florida, Virginia, North and South Carolina, Tennessee, Mississippi, Texas, and Arkansas on Christmas Eve. Due to the overwhelming current population of the earth, my contract was Renegotiated by North American Fairies and Elves Local 209. As part of the new and better contract I also get longer breaks for milk and cookies so keep that in mind. However, I'm certain that your children will be in good hands with your local replacement, who happens to be my Third cousin, Bubba Claus. His side of the family is from the South Pole. He shares my goal of delivering toys to all the good boys and girls; however, there are a few differences between us. Differences such as: 1. There is no danger of the Grinch stealing your presents from Bubba Claus. He has a gun rack on his sleigh and a bumper sticker that reads: "These toys insured by Smith and Wesson." 2. Instead of milk and cookies, Bubba Claus prefers that children leave an RC cola and pork rinds [or a moon pie] on the fireplace. And Bubba doesn't smoke a pipe. He dips a little snuff though, so please have an empty spit can handy. 3. Bubba Claus' sleigh is pulled by floppy-eared, flyin' coon dogs instead of reindeer. I made the mistake of loaning him a couple of my reindeer one time, and Blitzen's head now overlooks Bubba's fireplace. 4. You won't hear "On Comet, on Cupid, on Donner and Blitzen.." when Bubba Claus arrives. Instead, you'll hear, "On Earnhardt, on Andretti, on Elliott and Petty." 5. "Ho, Ho, Ho!" has been replaced by "Yee Haw!" and you also are likely to hear Bubba's elves respond, "I her'd dat!" 6. As required by Southern highway laws, Bubba Claus' sleigh does have a Yosemite Sam safety triangle on the back with the words "Back Off. " 7. The usual Christmas movie classics such as "Miracle on 34th Street" and "It's a Wonderful Life" will not be shown in your negotiated Viewing area. Instead, you'll see "Boss Hogg Saves Christmas" and "Smokey and the Bandit IV" featuring Burt Reynolds as Bubba Claus and dozens of state patrol cars crashing into each other. And Finally, 8. Bubba Claus doesn't wear a belt. If I were you, I'd make sure you, the wife, and the kids turn the other way when he bends over to put presents under the tree. Trailer 11/12 was the best. Thanks for the memories ... you guys rocked! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Casie 0 #2 December 11, 2003 OMG! That's hilarious!~Porn Kitty WARNING: Goldschlager causes extreme emotional outbursts! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CrazyIvan 0 #3 December 11, 2003 Merry Xmas!! __________________________________________ Blue Skies and May the Force be with you. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Slappie 9 #4 December 11, 2003 Hell ya!! Your only 2 years behind the times!! Go me.. "Find out just what any people will quietly submit to and you have found out the exact measure of injustice and wrong which will be imposed upon them." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TB99 0 #5 December 11, 2003 Wow ... only a day off. What a coincidence, eh? Ivan, do you sit and search every single post made to see if it's a repost?? Geez Trailer 11/12 was the best. Thanks for the memories ... you guys rocked! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Brains 2 #6 December 11, 2003 QuoteWow ... only a day off. What a coincidence, eh? Ivan, do you sit and search every single post made to see if it's a repost?? Geez Hey Tamer, i thought it was funny man. And after visiting TX, you probably understand most of the humor there. Never look down on someone, unless they are going down on you. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PhillyKev 0 #7 December 11, 2003 QuoteMerry Xmas!! My question is, do you remember things being posted before, and then go find them? Or do you just search for the text of every posts to see if you can catch someone? What's the statute of limitations? I'm willing to bet not many people would remember a post from 2 years ago and may appreciate seeing it for the first time. I know you're just joking with the constant repost postings. But, I also know there are people who won't post certain things anymore whether it's been posted before or not, because they don't want to get harped on. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
WrongWay 0 #8 December 11, 2003 Wow, he's good. Wrong Way D #27371 Mal Manera Rodriguez Cajun Chicken Ø Hellfish #451 The wiser wolf prevails. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TB99 0 #9 December 11, 2003 Well ... he wasn't registered in 2001, so unless he was just reading it as a guest back in the day, he couldn't have "remembered" this post. Trailer 11/12 was the best. Thanks for the memories ... you guys rocked! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
