Great Truths of the world .....

[SkydiveMonkey 0]

GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:

1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.



GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:

1) Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.




GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD

1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
6) Time may be a great healer, ! but it's a lousy beautician.
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.




THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:

1) You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus.
4) You look like Santa Claus.



SUCCESS:

At age 4 success is . . . not peeing in your pants.
At age 12 success is . . . having friends.
At age 16 success is . . . having a drivers license.
At age 20 success is . . . going all the way.
At age 35 success is . . . having money.
At age 50 success is . . . having money.
At age 60 success is . . . going all the way.
At age 70 success is . . . having a drivers license.
At age 75 success is . . . having friends.
At age 80 success is . . . not peeing in your pants.

____________________
Say no to subliminal messages

[n2skdvn 0]

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3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts.

i like that one

if my calculations are correct SLINKY + ESCULATOR = EVERLASTING FUN
my site

[ACMESkydiver 0]

Great post!!

~Jaye
Do not believe that possibly you can escape the reward of your action.

[CrazyIvan 0]

WTF is this man?

Same guy...unreal.

__________________________________________
Blue Skies and May the Force be with you.

[ACMESkydiver 0]

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WTF is this man?

Same guy...unreal.

You reposted your own post??? Oh, I am SOO disenchanted...

~Jaye
Do not believe that possibly you can escape the reward of your action.

[Antithesis 0]

Like clockwork.. I knew Ivan was comming

I travel the land, Work in the ocean, Play in the sky

[souleh 0]

Thanks, a post that made me smile. Now back to my project due in 48 hours with tons left to do..

'buttplugs? where?' - geno

[gremlin 0]

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You reposted your own post??? Oh, I am SOO disenchanted...

Quick... get one of the greenies to dock one of his posts off his score - or even better bust him back to newbie status for cheating.

I'm drunk, you're drunk, lets go back to mine....

[jlmiracle 7]

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WTF is this man?

Same guy...unreal.

but does it count if its the same person to repost? Too many safety meetings for skydivemonkey maybe.

Judy

Be kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.

[Paige 0]

All too true and all really funny.

Thanks for the laugh. I needed one with all of the grey/overcast skies in Ohio

Tunnel Pink Mafia Delegate
www.TunnelPinkMafia.com

[billvon 3,111]

And always remember - it's the early bird that gets the worm, but it's the second mouse that gets the cheese.

[lurch 0]

The early worm has a death wish

Live and learn... or die, and teach by example.