CrazyThomas 0 #1 December 8, 2003 What do a bungee jump and a Hooker have in common? They're both cheap, fast, and if the rubber breaks, you're dead. There was this couple who had been married for 50 years. They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the old gentleman said to his wife, "Just think, honey, we've been married for 50 years." "Yeah," she replied, "Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together." "I know," the old man said, "We were probably sitting here naked as jaybirds fifty years ago." "Well," Granny snickered, "What do you say...should we get naked?" Where upon the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table. "You know, honey," the little old lady breathlessly replied, "My nipples are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago." "I wouldn't be surprised," replied Gramps. "One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal!!!! Thomas Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CrazyThomas 0 #2 December 8, 2003 An Irish man walks into a pub. The bartender asks him, "What'll you have?" The man says, "Give me three pints of Guinness please. So the bartender brings him three pints and the man proceeds to alternately sip one, then the other, then the third until they're gone. He then orders three more. The bartender says, "Sir, I know you like them cold. You don't have to order three at a time. I can keep an eye on it and when you get low I'll bring you a fresh cold one." The man says, "You don't understand. I have two brothers, one in Australia and one in the States. We made a vow to each other that every Saturday night we'd still drink together. So right now, my brothers have three Guinness Stouts too, and we're drinking together. The bartender thought that was a wonderful tradition. Every week the man came in and ordered three beers. Then one week he came in and ordered only two. He drank them and then ordered two more. The bartender said to him, "I know what your tradition is, and I'd just like to say that I'm sorry that one of your brothers died." The man said, "Oh, me brothers are fine----I just quit drinking." Thomas Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Chute 0 #3 December 8, 2003 Why do you not go down on a woman first thing in the morning. Have you ever tried to peal apart a grilled cheese sandwich. ------------------------Bottomless Beers and Blue Skies! * Brother_Brian * D.S.W.F.S.B. #2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tunaplanet 0 #4 December 8, 2003 QuoteWhy do you not go down on a woman first thing in the morning. Have you ever tried to peal apart a grilled cheese sandwich. Lol, I actually heard that in boot camp...and believe it or not it was from our DI, lol. Great man. Forty-two Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CrazyThomas 0 #5 December 16, 2003 One day an old man was going on the toll road and he had sum viagra in his pocket. He had to pay the toll and when he grabbed for his money he accidently grabbed his viagra and through it in the pay toll slot and the thing went up and never went down! They tried everything to get it down but nothing would work Thomas Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jsaxton 0 #6 December 16, 2003 A man is sitting at the kitchen table at 3 am weeping softly. His wife comes downstairs and says "Honey, what's the matter?". The man says "Remember 20 years ago when I was 18 and you were 16 and your dad caught us fooling around in the back seat of his car?". His wife say "Yes honey I do" and sits down. The man says "Remember when your dad said that if I didn't marry you he'd make sure I spent the next 20 years in prison?". His wife says "Of course I do darling". The man, still softly weeping says "I would have gotten out tomorrow." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
