Bubba Claus

[bodypilot90 0]

Merry Christmas!



Memo from Santa Claus

I regret to inform you that, effective immediately, I will
no longer serve the States of Georgia, Florida, Virginia,
North and South Carolina,
Tennessee, Mississippi, Alabama, Louisiana, Texas,Kentucky
and Arkansas on Christmas Eve.

Due to the overwhelming current population of the earth,
my contract was renegotiated by North American Fairies and
Elves Local 209. As part of the new and better contract, I
also get longer breaks for milk and cookies so keep that
in mind.

However, I'm certain that your children will be in good
hands with your
local replacement, who happens to be my third cousin,
Bubba Claus.

His side of the family is from the South Pole. He shares
my goal of
delivering toys to all the good boys and girls; however,
there are a few
differences between us.

Differences such as:
1. There is no danger of the Grinch stealing your presents
from Bubba
Claus. He has a gun rack on his sleigh and a bumper
sticker that reads: "These toys insured by Smith and
Wesson."

2. Instead of milk and cookies, Bubba Claus prefers that
children leave an RC cola and pork rinds (or a moon pie)
on the fireplace. And Bubba doesn't smoke a pipe. He dips
a little snuff, so please have an empty spit can handy.

3. Bubba Claus' sleigh is pulled by floppy-eared, flyin'
coon dogs instead of reindeer. I made the mistake of
loaning him a couple of my reindeer one time, and
Blitzen's head now overlooks Bubba's fireplace.

4. You won't hear "On Comet, on Cupid, on Donner, and
Blitzen..." when Bubba Claus arrives. Instead, you'll
hear, "On Earnhardt, on Andretti, on Elliott and Petty."

5. "Ho, Ho, Ho" has been replaced by "Yee Haw!"

6. As required by Southern highway laws, Bubba Claus'
sleigh does have a Yosemite Sam safety triangle on the
back with the words "Back Off."

7. The usual Christmas movie classics such as "Miracle on
34th Street" and "It's a Wonderful Life" will not be shown
in your negotiated viewing area. Instead, you'll see
"Boss Hogg Saves Christmas" and "Smokey and the Bandit IV"
featuring Burt Reynolds as Bubba Claus and dozens of
flying coon dogs crashing into each other .

And Finally,
8. Bubba Claus doesn't wear a belt. If I were you, I'd
make sure you, the wife, and the kids turn the other way
when he bends over to put presents under the tree.

Sincerely Yours,
Santa Claus

[TheRus 0]

LMFAO!!!!!!

Yeah, it's fine, we'll walk down the line. Leave our rain, a cold trade for warm sunshine
You my friend, I will defend... and if we change, well, I love you anyway

[souleh 0]

LOL

'buttplugs? where?' - geno

[MikeMcLean 0]

You are under arrest

It wouldn't hurt you to think like a fucking serial killer every once in a while - just for the sake of prevention

[CrazyIvan 0]

  Quote

You are under arrest

Good job

__________________________________________
Blue Skies and May the Force be with you.