tunaplanet 0 #1 December 22, 2003 A drunk is driving through the city and his car is weaving violently all over the road. A cop pulls him over. "So," says the cop to the driver, "where have you been?" "I've been to the pub," slurs the drunk. "Well," says the cop, "it looks like you've had quite a few. " "I did all right," the drunk says with a smile. "Did you know," says the cop, standing straight and folding his arms, "that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?" "Oh, thank heavens," sighs the drunk. "For a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf." Forty-two Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tunaplanet 0 #2 December 22, 2003 And yet another classic..... One night a police officer was staking out a particularly rowdy bar for possible violators of the driving-under-the-influence laws. At closing time, he saw a fellow stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb and try his keys on five different cars before he found his. He then sat in the front seat fumbling around with his keys for several minutes. Everyone left the bar and drove off. Finally he started his engine and began to pull away. The police officer was waiting for him. He stopped the driver, read him his rights and administered the Breathalyzer test. The results showed a reading of 0.0. The puzzled officer demanded to know how that could be. The driver replied, "tonight, I'm the designated decoy". Forty-two Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sdgregory 0 #3 December 22, 2003 A cop pulls over a woman. He walks to her car and she opens her window a a bunch of bugs start buzzing the cop's head. He starts swatting at them and they only get more aggressive. "What the hell are these things?" he says. "Those are shoo flies officer'" says the woman. "What's a shoofly" he asks swatting away. "Why they hang around a horse's ass" she says. "Are you insinuating I am a horse's ass?" he asks angrily. "No" she says "but them flies ain't never been wrong." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sdgregory 0 #4 December 22, 2003 A man says to his blonde co-worker. "I think I am gonna go home early today." The co-worker says "how you gonna do that?" The man climbs up to the rafters and hangs upside down. When the foreman walks up he says to the man "What the hell are you doing?" The man replies "I'm a light bulb." Boss says "You have been working too hard go home." The blonde then begins packing up her stuff and the boss says "where are you going?" The blonde says "You don't expect em to work in the dark do you?" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skyyhi 0 #5 December 22, 2003 Too funny guys. . .needed a laugh today. . .and with that I think I will drink that really nice bottle of microbrew pale ale in the fridge. . .________________________________________ Take risks not to escape life… but to prevent life from escaping. ~ A bumper sticker at the DZ FGF #6 Darcy Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
