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ChasingBlueSky

LOTR Supports GWB.

By ChasingBlueSky, in The Bonfire

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ChasingBlueSky    0

ChasingBlueSky
;)

http://www.scrappleface.com/MT/archives/001443.html

Albright: 'Rings' Sequel Timed to Benefit Bush
(2003-12-21) -- Former Secretary of State Madeleine Albright suggested today that the Bush administration influenced the timing of the release of the blockbuster movie 'The Return of the King' to boost the economy before the 2004 elections.

"In the first five days that movie has raked in $125 million," said Ms. Albright. "And that doesn't include popcorn, beverages and Sno-Caps. This is a major shot in the arm for the economy, and I find the timing suspicious. All three of these movies have been released during the Bush administration, and this one may create the economic tsunami that carries Bush to his second term."

In related news, Democrat presidential candidate Dick Gephardt, who is boycotting 'The Return of the King,' said the film was a 'miserable failure' which sent high-paying American jobs to New Zealand.

Senator John F. Kerry, also rumored to be considering a White House bid, said, "This is a great day for America. Of course, I was one of the early supporters of adventure movies. And while George Bush can get the vicarious rush of watching a filmed battle sequence, I actually left some blood on the battlefield."

Rival Wesley Clark said, "I support this movie, and recommend that people go to see it, but they should leave the theater as quickly as possible."

Candidate Dennis Kucinich said, "I told you Bush was false. I told you he was tricksy."
_________________________________________
you can burn the land and boil the sea, but you can't take the sky from me....
I WILL fly again.....

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SkydiverRick    0

SkydiverRick
Quote

;)


Albright: 'Rings' Sequel Timed to Benefit Bush
(2003-12-21) -- Former Secretary of State Madeleine Albright suggested today that the Bush administration influenced the timing of the release of the blockbuster movie 'The Return of the King' to boost the economy before the 2004 elections.

"In the first five days that movie has raked in $125 million," said Ms. Albright. "And that doesn't include popcorn, beverages and Sno-Caps. This is a major shot in the arm for the economy, and I find the timing suspicious. All three of these movies have been released during the Bush administration, and this one may create the economic tsunami that carries Bush to his second term."

In related news, Democrat presidential candidate Dick Gephardt, who is boycotting 'The Return of the King,' said the film was a 'miserable failure' which sent high-paying American jobs to New Zealand.

Senator John F. Kerry, also rumored to be considering a White House bid, said, "This is a great day for America. Of course, I was one of the early supporters of adventure movies. And while George Bush can get the vicarious rush of watching a filmed battle sequence, I actually left some blood on the battlefield."

Rival Wesley Clark said, "I support this movie, and recommend that people go to see it, but they should leave the theater as quickly as possible."

Candidate Dennis Kucinich said, "I told you Bush was false. I told you he was tricksy."



The libs can find conspiracy anywhere. :D:D



never pull low......unless you are

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ChasingBlueSky    0

ChasingBlueSky
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Do you -really- need to go to Snopes on this one?

Get serious.



I knew it was a joke from the beginning - I was just trying to preface it with a good trolling line....decided to edit it.
_________________________________________
you can burn the land and boil the sea, but you can't take the sky from me....
I WILL fly again.....

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quade    4

quade
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Even the moderators are getting slightly touchy.



Not touchy. Ya just had to read his original preface for the joke. It sort of made him sound a bit naive. I just wanted him to think about it for a second.
quade -
The World's Most Boring Skydiver

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billvon    3,107

billvon
Some good news for a change! From The Onion:

CHRISTMAS BROUGHT TO IRAQ BY FORCE

BAGHDAD, IRAQ—On almost every corner in Iraq's capital city, carolers are singing, trees are being trimmed, and shoppers are rushing home with their packages—all under the watchful eye of U.S. troops dedicated to bringing the magic of Christmas to Iraq by force.

"It's important that life in liberated Iraq get back to normal as soon as possible," said Deputy Defense Secretary Paul Wolfowitz at a press conference Monday. "That's why we're making sure that Iraqis have the best Christmas ever—something they certainly wouldn't have had under Saddam Hussein's regime."

To that end, 25,000 troops from the 3rd Armored Cavalry Regiment and 82nd Airborne Division have been deployed. Their missions include the distribution of cookies and eggnog at major Iraqi city centers, the conscription of bell-ringers from among the Iraqi citizenry, and the enforcement of a new policy in which every man, woman, and child in Baghdad pays at least one visit to 'Twas The Night... On Ice.

Immediately following the press conference, high-altitude bombers began to string Christmas lights throughout the greater-Baghdad area, and Wild Weasel electronic-warfare fighter jets initiated 24-hour air patrols to broadcast Bing Crosby's "White Christmas" over the nation. Armored columns struck out from all major allied firebases to erect a Christmas tree in the town square of every city, while foot soldiers placed fully lit, heavily guarded nativity scenes in front of every Iraqi mosque.

"Thus far, Operation Desert Santa has gone off without a hitch," said Gen. Stanley Kimmet, commander of U.S. armed reconnaissance-and-mistletoe operations in the volatile Tikrit region of central Iraq. "There has been sporadic house-to-house fighting during our door-to-door caroling, but that's to be expected in a Christmas season of this magnitude."

According to Lt. Gen. Ricardo Sanchez, the top American military commander in Iraq, every precaution is being taken to ensure the peaceful enforcement of the Christmas season in occupied Iraq.

"All American military personnel have been instructed that the observation of Christmas should be carried out efficiently and tastefully, with minimal emphasis on the season's commercial aspects," said Sanchez, who addressed reporters while a decorations division strung wreaths and garlands outside his headquarters. "We must keep in mind that the reason for the season-oriented campaign is for Iraq to celebrate the birth of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ."

An aide for Sanchez later explained that, in order to ensure a meaningful holiday season for all Iraqis, provisions were made for those Iraqis who elected to observe Hanukkah.

Like many U.S. operations in Iraq, Operation Desert Santa has met with some resistance. A convoy transporting fruitcake and gingerbread came under rocket attack Sunday night just outside Checkpoint Noël in Basra, and unidentified bands of Iraqis exchanged gunfire with Marines operating an armored Humvee simulated sleigh ride in a Baghdad suburb. In spite of these troubles, regional commanders report progress, with only eight U.S. casualties resulting from the operation.

Still, Iraqis report that they are unable to get into the Christmas spirit.

"Why am I supposed to feel joy for the world?" said 34-year-old Baghdad mechanic Hassan al-Ajili as he stood in line for his mandatory visit with Santa. "My country is still at war. I need an American identification card to get anywhere in my own city. Now, for some reason, men with machine guns have placed two rows of jingling antlered pigs on the roof of our house. This is insane."

Bush, speaking from his Crawford ranch, praised the brave men and women of Operation Desert Santa and asked for the understanding of all Americans.

"We must be patient with the Iraqis," said Bush, seated before a Christmas tree dotted with Scottish terrier ornaments. "The holidays can be a very stressful time, especially for people not yet used to the customs. I'm sure Iraq will enjoy the happiest of holiday seasons if we show resolve and commit to making sure that they do."

President Bush then called for 30,000 new troops to be deployed in the next week to ensure an effective and precise enforcement of Christmas throughout the region. Salvation and Eighth Army detachments will be stationed on every corner by Christmas Eve to make sure that every last Iraqi citizen spends the holiday at home, with family.

Sanchez said he is confident that he can meet that deadline.

"A merry Christmas in Iraq means peace in the Middle East has finally been achieved," Sanchez said. "God bless us, every one."

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DShiznit    0

DShiznit
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Some people truly must not have a sense of humour......



???

I have a GREAT sense of humor, but as I stated above, do you really think that this couldn't happen? We live in an age when people cry to the media or sue over anything these days. That is all I was eluding to.

:S

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happythoughts    0

happythoughts
I'll bet they have everything calmer by Easter. ;)

Every year, someone gives me a fruitcake. I give it to someone else who gives it to someone else. After the 12th hand change, it has the consistency of mudbrick.

I say that we should donate the fruitcakes to aid in the rebuilding of Iraq. Bill, do you have a PO box that we could send them to? :ph34r:

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lawrocket    3

lawrocket
Actually, former VP Gore had a news conference today about his son. One of the reporters asked him about the LOTR timing and effect on the economy.

He replied,

"As you know, I thought Love Story was about Tipper and me. I was wrong in that, of course. Nevertheless, the Lord of the Rings trilogy was based upon my life story as a humble young man growing up in rural Tennessee trying to save the world."

Reporter: "What do you mean?"

Gore: "The Earth in the Balance" shares numerous similarities with LOTR. Mainly, how a couple of people can change the world. I said in my book, "One of our greatest hopes is young people, those who will inherit the earth and the challenge of restoring its balance - the ones who will live long enough to know surely whether this peaceful battle for the planet is finally being won." Is this not, fundamentally, the plot fo the entire trilogy?

Reporter: "Are you suggesting you created Lord of the Rings?"

Gore: "Our challenge now, which requires the education of us all and the raising of our collective awareness on a global basis, is to restore and save the earth even as we add still more members to the human family. This will not be easy or simple; there will be setbacks, and fierce resistance from those who profit from pollution. Of course, this pollution includes Republican politics. If we could have a society like LOTR, where a couple of small people can make a big difference in the saving of the world, what is wrong with that?"

"And I add, my fellow Americans, that it is a shame that Republicans benefit from my creation and ideas in such a shameless way."


My wife is hotter than your wife.

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rehmwa    2

rehmwa
I haven't been to Scrappleface in a while, but this is very funny making fun of Albright and her "conspiracies":P:S

ScapFace is pretty good about mocking everyone, not just the left.

...
Driving is a one dimensional activity - a monkey can do it - being proud of your driving abilities is like being proud of being able to put on pants

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