flygirl03 0 #51 January 25, 2004 QuoteI have a "which is worse" scenario for you. I was married for 10 years, the last 5 of which were pretty unhappy, and the last 3 were down right crappy. I did not cheat on my wife, and she did not cheat on me, as far as I know. So I guess you could say that our mutual loyalty destroyed us for at least those last 3 years. Let's say one of us had cheated, and we got a divorce two years earlier and embarked upon our paths toward happiness two years earlier, and avoided two years of mysery. Which would be the greater harm?? You see, I did not get angry about my divorce until I started experiencing some happiness afterward. "Look at what I have been missing, I should have done this years ago". So which is worse?? Wow, change the numbers (neither cheated, married 25 years, unhappy last 15, last 3 downright crappy) and this is my story... While I really didn't get angry about my divorce, I DID realize, I should have bailed a long time ago...both of us would have been much happier ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ earthbound misfit Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LuvToFly 0 #52 January 25, 2004 QuoteDogs, dogs can't cheat on you either. Thier loyal, always look like they love you no matter how much you vent to them. They make me remember that I am human and make mistakes but they love me reguardless. Men, I like men too. I just can't figure them out like I can dogs. Im sure many men feel the same way. Heather Now wait a minute there... us men are definitely not like dogs! For instance - dogs will fart while you are watching TV, very silently, and you don't realize it until it's too late! Then they deny doing it...... er...... ...okay, bad example... "The helicopter approaches closer than any other to fulfillment of mankind's ancient dreams of a magic carpet" - Igor Sikorsky Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bigwallmaster 0 #53 January 27, 2004 Thank you!!!! I am so glad that you posted this Dagny. I really appreciate that someone out there feels the same as I do regarding this issue and I really hope everyone pays particular attention to this post cause Dagny is so right on with this. I know we have all heard stories over the years, but now I am living this whole experience and I just feel like I have to tell you guys about it in support of the good advice Dagny gives here. I have recently been cheated on and completely mislead by someone that I was crazy about. I had been with this person a little over a year (I know you are saying "A year?? C'mon!") But either way it still hurts. I can honestly say that this has been and is the most difficult thing I have ever dealt with up until now. I can't imagine how it must feel after you have been with someone for multiple years. I have no shame in admitting that I am a 27 yr. old male who is looking to meet "that girl" who has similar interests as I, to start a family and live happily ever after and all that. And I was convinced that I had finally found the right match for me in my ex-girlfriend. I was obviously wrong. The reason I so strongly support the comments Dagny has made here, is due to the fact that I am currently living proof of the harsh emotional impacts that she refers to. Finding out that the person I loved was having sex with someone else, and very cold heartedly putting my health and mental well being in jeopardy has created serious depression and anxiety in my life. This whole thing has created what seems like unbearable grief for me at times. It has not only made me so afraid to try and meet someone else, but has also created alot self-doubt for me. And it shouldn't because I know I am a good guy who has alot of positive things to offer this world. The worst thing about cheating is that it breeds negative, irrational thinking. Even though I know this isn't the right way to think of women, there have been times thru this whole thing when I have characterized all women as being like the same cold- hearted beings as my ex. I know that's not right, and I am working on it. But I can't help but feel as if this won't happen to me again. And it's this train of thought that creates all these illogical stereotypical responses we hear about. The only thing I can say is that I so did not deserve any of this. I was always loyal and resectful of my ex. Anyone who knows me can attest to the fact that I thought the world of this girl and would never do anything to hurt her. The fact of the matter is (Just as Dagny touched on!!!) that if she would have just been honest with me and told me that she just couldn't give me what I was looking for, it would have been better. Instead she almost methodically tried to keep me on the "back burner" while she did these things. It's just horrible. And right now I just find myself wondering when I will feel like my same old self again; I am afraid that this down and depressed state that I am in will never go away. I think my experience in a nutshell may summarize some of the reasons Dagny wrote her post. Alright enought sniveling and whining for tonight. . . . . .there's cold beer to go cry in. . . somewhere! Bigwall Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
