Stop cheating, already!!!

[Dagny 0]

I have talked to too many people who have been cheated on. I'm over it. Stop cheating, people. Is it too much to ask that you are sincere to the person you claim to love? How can you love someone, "commit" to them, and string them along, let them love you back, while your heart (or your body) is lost in someone else?

It's not fair. And I'm tired of seeing people, damn good people, ruined by the heartless cheating that destroyed their previous relationships. Starting a new relationship is supposed to be about learning each other, testing the compatibility, not working through the past and trying to overcome doubt and lack of trust.

I have seen good men and women ruined by having their hearts broken by cheating. They don't trust, they can't, because always there is this memory of the past which eats at them. I say they were ruined because they have great personalities, they are giving, they are loving, romantic, and yet...they may encounter the perfect person, someone who will be true to them. But, they are blind to it, their vision blocked by memory.

I've been cheated on, I know that pain. I hate it. I struggle to keep the faith in people, to stay true to myself. I believe there are good people out there, faithful, honest, trustworthy people. Surely, I'm right? And if you've found one...well, by all means, hold on tight. Because I've been talking to a lot of people who have been adversely affected by cheating and it makes me sad to see these people give up on finding love, give up on the possibility.

So, my rant is over, public service announcement finished. Personal request? Please stop hurting each other out there. Be honest, be true. If you can't love the person you're with, let them go. Before you move on to someone else. Thank you.

Take me, I am the drug; take me, I am hallucinogenic.
-Salvador Dali

[caress 0]

Great post Dagny. I completely agree. I wish that the world would heed such a request. I do not like to see my friends and good persons hurt by mates with no ethics in their hearts. It is very hard, especially when you are the one that they are crying with about it, and you just wish you could make them all better,and you can't. In some cases not even time can repair them. My heart goes out to them, and actually, I remember people with broken hearts in my prayers at night because I've been there too, and I feel since I got thru my hard stuff, I should send out vibes in prayer to the current hearts that are broken.-Just my thoughts-Caress

I've learned.... That being kind is more important than being
right.

[kelel01 1]

Dagny,

I can't believe you just posted that! I was going to post something exactly like it a couple of days ago, but I decided not to get on my soapbox at that moment. Now that you're on yours, though, I'll join you.
I think before people act on something as serious as committing infidelity, they need to stop and think long and hard. If it's worth being unfaithful to someone, it's worth breaking up over. Sac up and be a man (or woman) and tell your SO how you feel.

NOTHING in this world frightens me more than the thought of being cheated on by someone I love. If I put my trust in someone, I need that trust to be deserved. Nothing would break my heart more than finding out I was being cheated on.

Just wanted to add my thoughts.

Kelly

[tunaplanet 0]

Wasn't going to reply to this thread, but I have on my flame-resistent suit so here goes.

All women cheat. You can't have a serious relationship with them. They all lie and cheat. You have no choice but to be suspicious and question their every move. If you take the number of serious relationships I have been in and divide it by the number of times that person cheated on me...it comes out to 1. That's right, every serious relationship I have been in has ended with the person cheating. So why take it serious anymore?

I've found that physical relationships are pretty much the only thing useful these days. If you must go into a serious relationship, go into it with the attitude of, "This person will eventually cheat, so enjoy it while it lasts and know it will end bad." That usually helps in the end.

The thing that gets me is that I am a decent looking man in good shape and always treated women like gold. I could have easily cheated on the women I was with while I was in the Navy. Did I? No way. Never would. And this is how I get repayed? Fuck that. The little pink house and white-picket fence thing is a pipe dream. And those who think your relationship is going great and that you have the perfect girlfriend/wife? You just haven't caught her yet.

I know, I know...I fully expect every female dz.commer to reply with, "I have never cheated so you're wrong!!!!!" If this was true the infidelity rate in this country would not be so high. You'll see plenty of people reply to this claiming to have never cheated, and NONE admitting they have, yet the % of people who cheat is astronomical in this country.

So be weary when you see 88 posts saying "You are wrong, Tuna, I never cheat," and none saying, "Yeah, I cheated. I regret it but I did it."

I know this comes off as extremely bitter, and I truly do not mean to offend any of the female dz.commers. Most of you all seem like very nice people (especially the middle-aged red-heads ), but had to vent and rant for a bit.

Hope I didn't come off too bitter? Ok, time to drink now. Best form of medication.

Forty-two

[freefallfreak 0]

<---------- Slowly backs away from thread...

FFF

"Upon seeing the shadow of a pigeon, one must resist the urge to look up."

[sunshine 2]

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Slowly backs away from thread...

I'm gonna stick around. I needed some excitement tonight.

Wish i was taking a carriage ride in Atlanta...

___________________________________________
meow

I get a Mike hug! I get a Mike hug!

[benny 0]

I have to agree, having cheated (I was young and I'm still young) and been cheated on, it sucks. Mainly because you cheat and then think "oh shit, what was I thinking, that girl really rocked." But of course she's gone cause your dumbass cheated. Woe is me, hopefully I've learned my lesson. Not if only I can find another sucker to take me in....

Never go to a DZ strip show.

[Kris 0]

ummm....damn, tuna. Yeah, that did come off a bit bitter.

I have had two long-term relationships within the last 10 years and neither of them cheated on me. Nor was there any question at all as to the amount of trust and integrity in the relationship.

Both were absolutely wonderful women whom I loved dearly and trusted completely.

Sky, Muff Bro, Rodriguez Bro, and
Bastion of Purity and Innocence!™

[skydiveelis 0]

Ouch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you really touch me with your words, I'm going to be honest ! I did cheat on someone long time a go and I totally regretted it !!!!! I was stupid and young and didn't know what I had , learned a lot from that experience though , now I rather be honest and walk away from a relationship than hurt someone and I expect the same from that person , it was not fun when they did it to me and that made me change , I'm not a shame to admit it , but I'm not proud of what I did !! .sometimes we just like to learn the hard way !!!!!!! , we have to remember, RESPECT each other is the base of a good relationship.

________________________________________

[Antithesis 0]

I think that it all comes down to a need for better communication in a relationship. That's what a relationship is in the first place.. So many times I see relationships that are about sex, money, social status..how cool someone is to you.. But face it if there's no communication.. there's no solid foundation.

I've grown callous in my personal experiences in relationships.. If someone cheats on me.. then we shouldn't be together in the first place. I try not to be mad at them but I do hold a grudge and remove them from my life. No second chances.. That's it!

However, I don't rush into things and try to make something out of nothing and always try to take things for what they are. If a relationship is about sex.. Then it's about sex... if it's about money.. or whatever.. then it's about sex .... if it's about love then you know it and don't have to worry about your lover cheating on you if it's real.

Quote

I have seen good men and women ruined by having their hearts broken by cheating. They don't trust, they can't, because always there is this memory of the past which eats at them. I say they were ruined because they have great personalities, they are giving, they are loving, romantic,

All I can say about this to those women (because I meet them all the time) is..GET OVER IT!! Why stop living for one second and become a victim because someone took advantage of your feelings?

I travel the land, Work in the ocean, Play in the sky

[Guest]

Perhaps it's time to rethink the whole paradigm.

mh

"The mouse does not know life until it is in the mouth of the cat."

[KawiZX900 0]

no shit. Brava!

Accelerate hard to get them looking, then slam on the fronts and rollright beside the car, hanging the back wheel at eye level for a few seconds. Guaranteed reaction- Dave Sonsky

[skymama 37]

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All women cheat. You can't have a serious relationship with them. They all lie and cheat. You have no choice but to be suspicious and question their every move.

Wowie, Tuna, that's a bold statement. Did you ever think it might have less to do with all women, and more to do with what type of woman you are choosing?

Quote

The thing that gets me is that I am a decent looking man in good shape and always treated women like gold.

It would be interesting to hear the women's side of the story. I've never heard of someone cheating who was perfectly happy in the way they were being treated in their relationship.

She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man,
because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon

[flyangel2 2]

Well Andrea, from one middle-aged red head to another, I don't think I could have said it better.

Tuna, you make some good points, but if you're keeping the woman in you life happy, she's not going to go out and look for it else where.

Where are you meeting these women that have cheated on you? Did these women cheat in past relationships before hooking up with you?

Now, I'm going to make some pop corn and sit back and watch the fire works.

May your trails be crooked, winding, lonesome, dangerous, leading to the most amazing view. May your mountains rise into and above the clouds. - Edward Abbey

[Jimbo 0]

$20.00 only goes so far, huh?

-
Jim

"Like" - The modern day comma
Good bye, my friends. You are missed.

[Viking 0]

that was so uncalled for. even IF it was a joke.

I swear you must have footprints on the back of your helmet - chicagoskydiver
My God has a bigger dick than your god -George Carlin

[freefallfreak 0]

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$20.00 only goes so far, huh?

BWAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!

FFF

"Upon seeing the shadow of a pigeon, one must resist the urge to look up."

[freefallfreak 0]

Quote

if you're keeping the woman in you life happy, she's not going to go out and look for it else where.

I was cheated on once...she claimed I couldn't find her G-spot...I searched everywhere...even logged on to Mapquest...oh well...

FFF

"Upon seeing the shadow of a pigeon, one must resist the urge to look up."

[flyangel2 2]

Did she tell you where it was at? You mean she cheated cause you couldn't make her "come"?

Enough said

Edit cause I can't spell, as you'll see by freefallfreak's post

May your trails be crooked, winding, lonesome, dangerous, leading to the most amazing view. May your mountains rise into and above the clouds. - Edward Abbey

[freefallfreak 0]

Quote

Do she tell you where it was at? You mean she cheated cause you couldn't make her "come"?

Enough said

Naa, I just couldn't find her G-spot...I was perfectly capable of making her speak Chinese for most of the night...but that G-spot evaded me...and Mapquest couldn't help...lol.

FFF

"Upon seeing the shadow of a pigeon, one must resist the urge to look up."

[dzdiva 7]

Quote

I know, I know...I fully expect every female dz.commer to reply with, "I have never cheated so you're wrong!!!!!" If this was true the infidelity rate in this country would not be so high. You'll see plenty of people reply to this claiming to have never cheated, and NONE admitting they have, yet the % of people who cheat is astronomical in this country.

And you're saying that all or most of these people cheating are women? I'm not going to get in a pissing contest, but I think that is an unfair statement.

Like the others said, maybe it is the women you are choosing. Some people just can't keep their pecker or pussy in their pants. It's in their nature to do this.

Yes, I'm saying, I don't cheat! I've been cheated on and it was one of the worst things I've ever experienced. I would not put another person through the pain that I felt.

I was in a long distance relationship last year for about 8 months. He was 3,000 miles away. Never even thought about cheating. We had trust. Without trust, you have nothing.

I'm sorry for the things that have happened to you, but to make the statement that all women cheat is just plain wrong.

"It's not just a daydream if you choose to make it your life..."

[ACMESkydiver 0]

Ridiculous, Tuna. Just lost the respect I thought I had for you.

~Jaye
Do not believe that possibly you can escape the reward of your action.

[mjosparky 4]

Quote

Quote

Slowly backs away from thread...

I'm gonna stick around. I needed some excitement tonight.

Wish i was taking a carriage ride in Atlanta...

Don't stick around too close, you could get your ass dusted.
Sparky

My idea of a fair fight is clubbing baby seals

[Michele 1]

Poor Tuna. I really feel for you. Oh well....here's the deal. You've gotten honest responses, and you've been talked to by some who I'd listen carefully to if I were you. So I'll not add my .02.

As for cheating, I have had two serious, long term relationships. Both have cheated on me, both did not break up prior to it, both of them I discovered, and both would have continued it had I not confronted them - and then left.

Both have scarred me. Both have created serious issues with trust - intimate, deep, real trust - and both have contributed to a significantly low self esteem. The effects are lasting - not because I want them to, but because that what happens.

I have given up on relationships. I have dreams that someday I will find the man who thinks I'm worth being with, someone who finds value in me, loves me more than all others, and who chooses to be with me. But they are just that - dreams.

I've worked through the majority of issues that were created by the cheating, when I can. On those issues that I can't, I just sit with the scars. I have come to the conclusion that I do not know how to choose a good man, so I stopped choosing...and simply dream...and wish. I haven't had a date in months, and to have a real, deep, intimate relationship (not just sexual, but spiritual and emotional) seems out of the plan for me. Sigh..

Depressing topic. I think I would rather have it out with someone in the political threads.

Ciels-
Michele

~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek
While our hearts lie bleeding?~

[skyyhi 0]

Tuna, my friend. . .I am afraid that you have a very bitter attitude about relationships. . .I can say with ALL honesty that I have NEVER cheated on a guy I was going out with. . .it is not my style to cheat.

If I am interested in going out with someone, I let them know and make myself available. I may be an old broad, but I live today. I would never meet guys close to my age if I didn't get out there and open myself up to the possibility of getting hurt. It's a part of dating. . .you learn from each experience and move on. . .

Tuna and Michele. . .both of you are FAR TOO YOUNG to give up all hope of a lasting relationship with someone you really love and trust. . .I have been cheated on before. . .I have also been married three times. . .I do not necessarily make wise and sound choices for myself. . .but that doesn't make me lose hope. . .I just keep finding ways to better myself so I can continue living for today. . .I have met some really nice people along the way and I will continue to meet others. . .

Never give up hope. . .

________________________________________
Take risks not to escape life… but to prevent life from escaping. ~ A bumper sticker at the DZ
FGF #6
Darcy