Retirement Wose?

[jumperconway 0]

Six retired Floridians were playing poker in the condo clubhouse when Meyerwitz loses $500 on a single hand, clutches his chest and drops dead at the table. Showing respect for their fallen comrade, the other five continue playing standing up. Finkelstein looks around and asks, "So, who's gonna' tell his wife?" They draw straws. Goldberg picks the short one. They tell him to be discreet, be gentle, don't make a bad situation any worse. "Discreet? I'm the most discreet person you'll ever meet. Discretion is my middle name, leave it to me." Goldberg goes over to the Meyerwitz apartment, knocks on the door. The wife answers and asks what he wants. Goldberg declares : "Your husband just lost $500, and is afraid to come home." "Tell him to drop dead!" says the wife. "I'll go tell him." says Goldberg.

[EdC 0]

That's funny.
Here's one for you.

An atheist professor was teaching a college class and he told the
class that he was going to prove that there is no God. He said,"God, if
you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I'll give
you 15 minutes!"

Ten minutes went by. He kept taunting God, saying, "Here I am God.
I'm still waiting."

He got down to the last couple of minutes and a Marine, just
released from active duty, and newly registered in the class, walked up to
the professor, hit him full force in the face, and sent him flying from
the platform.

The professor struggled up, obviously shaken and yelled, "What's the
matter with you? Why did you do that?"

The Marine replied, "God was busy; He sent me."

Big Ed

[kallend 2,201]

Quote

Six retired Floridians were playing poker in the condo clubhouse when Meyerwitz loses $500 on a single hand, clutches his chest and drops dead at the table. Showing respect for their fallen comrade, the other five continue playing standing up. Finkelstein looks around and asks, "So, who's gonna' tell his wife?" They draw straws. Goldberg picks the short one. They tell him to be discreet, be gentle, don't make a bad situation any worse. "Discreet? I'm the most discreet person you'll ever meet. Discretion is my middle name, leave it to me." Goldberg goes over to the Meyerwitz apartment, knocks on the door. The wife answers and asks what he wants. Goldberg declares : "Your husband just lost $500, and is afraid to come home." "Tell him to drop dead!" says the wife. "I'll go tell him." says Goldberg.

THIS IS A TRUE STORY:

One of my colleagues at work is a tyical Chicago neighborhood guy who has kept up with his Catholic High School/Parish friends (Leo H.S., for any Chicagoans) all his life (he is now 68). Some of the friends retired, and one couple had moved to Florida. The group and spouses still had a dinner together when the Florida couple were in town to visit family.

Anyway, in 1997 one of the guys had a heart attack during the meal, and fell face forward into his dinner. The others did CPR or whatever and he spent a few days in the hospital.

The following year the group met again, and during the dinner, the topic of this guy's heart attack came up. They were joking about it, and he said something to the effect of how embarrassing it was to fall face first into his dinner. He immediately did it again.

They all though he was joking. He had dropped dead.

...

The only sure way to survive a canopy collision is not to have one.