Michele 1 #1 February 6, 2004 Morning comes fast. Why is it that when you can't sleep, night is endless, but when you have to do something distasteful first thing in the morning, morning comes so very fast? Sparky comes right on time and far too early to pick me up for surgery....I give him the nickel tour, and realize I haven't taken the trash out. That is vitally important, you see. Vitally. And because Sparky can see my brain racing in circles, and perhaps has noticed the smoke coming out of my ears, he grabs the trash and takes it out. It is at that moment I realize I am in wonderful hands, and that surgery is happening, regardless of if I'm prepared or not. Into the car, and away we go. Yikes. Sparky has The Eagles playing, and we both sing along. I want to be anywhere but there. The sky is blue, can we go jump instead? Can we go to the park? Can I just pretend nothing is wrong, and I'll even go to the office with a smile. No? Bafooey. Somehow despite leaden feet and a clinging bottom, I manage to get out of the car, and walk into the surgery center. Sparky is right there, no escape possible. I have no doubt that if I tried to turn around, he'd grab me by my hair and get me inside, so somehow I manage. We are sitting there not three minutes, and my name is called....and I gasp "already??" but no, it's just the financial person wanting money. I write enormous checks out, misspell my own name on my signature, start over, and hand them off. Sigh. Go back out to the waiting room, and tap my toes, twiddle my hair, and discuss skydiving with Sparky. Bounce in my chair, wiggle around, and think "I could make a run for it. I could just dash out and run. I'd be home in about 12 hours....I could do that." Sparky sees me crawling out of my skin, and picks up my hand. "You will be fine, Lady," he says. And I see his confidence, and decide to borrow it for a while. And then Lucy comes and gets me. She takes me to the "locker room", and hands me a hospital gown. It's one of those chinese puzzles to tie it. I am bending all around, trying to get it fastened, but don't manage to. I have the skirt like a wraparound, and tied it on my hip, and manage to get the neck tied. I then don the blue hair thing - not a hat, not a net, but a thing - and realize that this really isn't a good look for me. Stumble out, wearing socks and a hospital gown all funky, and find Lucy. She gets me onto a gurney, spreads out warm blankets, and takes my vital signs. And then sticks something resembling a barcode on my head. This sticker is, ostensibly, to keep an eye on my temperature, but I entertain thoughts of biochips, Big Brother, and Logan's run. I sit there, contemplating my navel. And then when I get bored with that, I try to do the Prana Bindu exercises in Dune...move only one muscle at a time. During this, I hear the charge nurse charging around, getting all these people prepped. The man to my left is high already, and I listen to him try to talk to the nurse...and the man on my right is so nervous, he can't remember his name. I listen to the nurses go through their spiel "you'll feel a tiny prick and a little sting", over and over until I can - and do, when it's my turn - repeat it with them. I tuck wisps of hair under my cap. The blankets have cooled, but I am still toasty. I am crawling out of my skin, feeling more alone and isolated and invisible than ever before, tucked away behind curtains. I call out to the nurse "can I have some of the good stuff now before I wet my pants, please?" and she informs me that I have to talk with the anesthesiologist first. I understand this, but still. I am holding on to my determination to stay here and not leave with both hands. Linda, the other nurse, brings me over "People" mag - and, as she says, it's fluff and not substance, but I read it and look at the pictures and realize just how far from this world celebrities are. One of the last stories is about a lady who has died after 8 days in a coma. She went in for surgery, and had an allergic reaction to the sedative, and fucking died. OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOkaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay, like I need this right now.....I toss the mag to the ground, and when the nurse comes over, I point the story out to her, and suggest that maybe this isn't the best mag to hand people waiting for sedatives...... About 12 seconds after that, the anesthesiologist comes over. Rosa got the cute one, I get a guy who barely looks at me. He's wearing lots of gold, though, so he's gotta be good. He's very interested in the fact that I am allergic to lidocaine, which is of course the numbing agent he uses for the IV anesthesia. He apologizes to the file, mumbling something like he will "put me down" (wtf, put me down????? Sparky, where are you???????????????????????????) without lidocaine, but it will hurt a lot, and to just keep breathing. Logan's Run...man, I can't do this. I'm praying as hard as I can "God, please be with me, help me hold on, please, I can't do this, I wanna go home..." And then I hear my doctor's laugh, and hear his voice. And as he comes through the curtain, bringing with him a peace, he looks at me. "Hi, Michele ma belle. You're not sedated yet, are you?" as I say hi to my Dr., he calls over his shoulder "why is she not sedated yet? Now, please", and within 10 seconds, the nurse is there, injecting my IV with stuff and then the stuff she put in whacks me and I start talking to the Dr. about why he's not standing still, and asking if we're having an earthquake. He pats my hand, tells me he'll see me in about 5 minutes, and poof, he's gone. And that stuff works because the next thing I know I am in the OR, moving from the gurney to the table. I look up, and see the straps they will be putting my legs through, and say "oh looky, torture devices..." and the Dr is standing there, stroking my forehead, smiling, saying "night, Michele, see you in a bit" and then my left arm is burning inside it, I can feel the muscles freezing and cramping and I start screaming and then it's dark. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ And now I'm crying and moaning and fighting and pulling the mask off my face and I don't know where I am and I can't breathe and help me, please, someone - please, there's hands holding me down and there are bars keeping me here and I can't move them I can't breathe I am choking and pleasepleasepleaseplease oh God help me it hurts so much! And I hear voices and feel hands holding mine and someone is stroking my forehead and someone else has clamped down on my legs and I start to remember where I am. I have a nurse at each hand, one holding the oxygen mask in place, and a male nurse at my legs holding them down....voices are reassuring me and calming me and wrapping me with love. And the lady in the curtained bed next to me is frantically asking if I'm all right and starts rattling off the Hail Mary as fast as she can several times over. And then the nurse says "I know it hurts, sweetie, I'm putting more (something) into you. Breathe, relax. You're all right, sweetie. You're all right, you've had surgery and you're at Holy Cross and you are all right sweetheart" and someone else is crooning a song and it still hurts horribly but now I've stopped fighting and I'm just holding the nurses' hands, and I'm not kicking the guy anymore (I nailed him on the chin but good - I saw him with an icepack later...and I have a bruise on the top of my foot...) but still I cry and can't breathe right and she gives me even more (something) and my arms flop down and now I can't move if I wanted to and I still can't breathe so I ask the nurse to please take off the mask, I can't breathe, and then she realizes it's because my nose is stuffed because of the tears and because I've bitten my tongue so badly it's swollen and she helps me blow my nose and gives me ice to suck for my tongue, and then I can tolerate the O2 mask again. And still I am writhing, silent now, from the pain and she gives me more (something). She gets the Dr. to authorize even more (something) and is injecting it and now Michael is coming, I see him crossing the room, and I reach out my hand and Michael takes it and says "Hi, Lady", and I am safe again. I don't recall getting dressed, but somehow I am, and in a wheelchair, and now into Michael's car; and now we're on the freeway, The Eagles playing, and he hands me the phone, and it's Mary, and we talk but I don't know what about, and then we're home, and I'm stretching out in my lavendar scented sheets and I can hear Michael in the living room, and I curl up with my kitties and blankets and sleep. And wake, and walk a bit, and then back to bed. I hear the phone ringing, and Michael talking, and feel the weight of my kitties and I am all right and I sleep again. And about 5ish, RippedCord stops by with dinner for 83 and a friend of his who's visiting from New York (hi, Ralph!) who's allergic to cats and Mary calls and I talk to her and then she talks to Keith and I manage to eat a burger and a soft taco and drink a vanilla shake, and Michael hands me the phone and I ask who I'm talking to and it's Bill Cole and I just love Bill's voice and he is such a blessed man, and then Keith and Ralph leave and I lay on the sofa and take more pills, and I am feeling bad but better, and about 8ish Michael makes sure I know how to call 911 and then he takes his leave. Without Michael, I would not have managed to make it through, and so I thank him from the bottom of my heart. For all the pm's and love sent my way, I thank you all so very much. I sure felt the love yesterday, and it was vitally necessary. And for Mary's voice in my ear, well, the miles may have been there, but you were with me in my heart....and I love you, girl. Hugs to all. And please don't kick the nurses. Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
flyangel2 2 #2 February 6, 2004 Quote. And for Mary's voice in my ear, well, the miles may have been there, but you were with me in my heart....and I love you, girl. Damn it girl. You promised not to make me cry any more.May your trails be crooked, winding, lonesome, dangerous, leading to the most amazing view. May your mountains rise into and above the clouds. - Edward Abbey Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ZoneRat 0 #3 February 6, 2004 You have an amazing talent for writting. I actually got a little teary eyed during parts of that. You should submit it to somewhere. Glad you're doin' ok. Attagirl for facing the fear and following through. and... thank you for that magnificent post!“There are more things in Heaven and Earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophies.” Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hooked 0 #4 February 6, 2004 You have a way of writing..........that takes us to your experience. I am glad you are home, you are on the mend and let's hope this will make you all better. Thank God for good friends, huh? Hugs, Jan -------------------------------------- Sometimes we're just being Humans.....But we're always Human Beings. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wingnut 0 #5 February 6, 2004 michele, remind me to have you write my acdemy award aceptance speech okay!!!! glad you are home and feeling better i hope.... you got to come play with me next time i go down to cali.. maybe ome tunel time??? ______________________________________ "i have no reader's digest version" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SkydivingNurse 0 #6 February 6, 2004 The headline caught my attention, the article made me see what you experienced through your words. I'm glad everything turned out ok. Damn, but you have a way with words. QuoteI sit there, contemplating my navel. And then when I get bored with that, I try to do the Prana Bindu exercises in Dune...move only one muscle at a time. What, no Litany Against Fear? Some Bene Gesserit you'd make! Heal fast, little sister. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites jceman 1 #7 February 6, 2004 Ya did it again, sweetie. Glad you made it through your ordeal and look forward to hearing more from you. And you're right, it's not nice to kick the nurses! Faster horses, younger women, older whiskey, more money. Why do they call it "Tourist Season" if we can't shoot them? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites TheAnvil 0 #8 February 6, 2004 Hurry up and get well!Vinny the Anvil Post Traumatic Didn't Make The Lakers Syndrome is REAL JACKASS POWER!!!!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites flygirl03 0 #9 February 6, 2004 First of all, SO happy to see that you are well enough to write novels again Sounds like you are well on your way to a speedy recovery LOTS of prayers have been answered. About your writing talent...... QuoteAnd now I'm crying and moaning and fighting and pulling the mask off my face and I don't know where I am and I can't breathe and help me, please, someone - please, there's hands holding me down and there are bars keeping me here and I can't move them I can't breathe I am choking and pleasepleasepleaseplease oh God help me it hurts so much! ............ And then the nurse says "I know it hurts, sweetie, I'm putting more (something) into you. Breathe, relax Reading this brought back every PAINFUL memory of when I awoke from the only surgery I ever had. I remember Screaming, "No one told me it would hurt this bad!!" I had just given birth to a 9lb.15oz girl but that didn't hurt NEAR as much as the Tubal!!! Freakin inch long incision and I thought I was dying!! Speedy recovery girl!! (((HUGS)))) C ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ earthbound misfit Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Muenkel 0 #10 February 6, 2004 Michele, I can personally relate to everything you wrote. It was not until the 11th hour that I got my good news. Good to see you writing. It assures me that you are mending. I'm with ya sweetie.Heal fast, Chris _________________________________________ Chris Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites RoadRash 0 #11 February 6, 2004 QuoteHurry up and get well! I agree, and I feel your pain...surgery sucks......get better so that when I meet you we can jump!!!!! ~R+R~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Fly the friendly skies...^_^...})ii({...^_~... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites eeneR 3 #12 February 6, 2004 Im glad everything is ok... The pre-op is the worst on your nerves waiting, and frightened alone...just the nurses....and post op is scary as hell, you wake up not know where you are and what is going on..... and normally in pain...Been on the table twice....and it is just plain scary... {{{{{HUGS}}}}} *whiping away tears*She is not a "Dumb Blonde" - She is a "Light-Haired Detour Off The Information Superhighway." eeneR TF#72, FB#4130, Incauto Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites bbarnhouse 0 #13 February 6, 2004 We've been after Miche for quite some time now to write a book...I am anxiously waiting. Maybe when she is feeling a bit better, we can all quit encouraging her and start hounding her until she does! Sending you warmth and love from the desert Miche. B2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Nightingale 0 #14 February 6, 2004 Glad to hear you're doing better, sweetie! Call if you need anything. -K- Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites skymama 37 #15 February 6, 2004 Wow, I didn't think you'd be up and writing so soon. Then again, I shouldn't be surprised by your resilience at all anymore. Glad you're doing well. She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man, because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites chuteless 1 #16 February 6, 2004 Michele....you are not only a good jumper ( I still watch the video) but you are a very talented writer. Maybe you should write a good skydiving story and submit it Parachutist. ....or a fictional book....maybe a skydiving mystery. Take good care and heal fast. Your birthday on May 3rd....I hope you tell me you made your 100th jump Love and best wishes Bill Cole D-41 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites flygirl03 0 #17 February 6, 2004 Michele could write a book about YOU ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ earthbound misfit Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Lee03 0 #18 February 6, 2004 Glad to hear your better -------- To put your life in danger from time to time ... breeds a saneness in dealing with day-to-day trivialities. --Nevil Shute, Slide Rule Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Snowbird 0 #19 February 6, 2004 Michele, oh my you had me right there through that post. And now you've got me right here wishing I could give you this gentle (((HUG))) in person. You'll be well, how couldn't someone with your strength? (And don't tell us you aren't strong - strength isn't always something you feel it's something you do) Can't wait to read your post about your next jump when you're healed up. Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. -Robert A. Heinlein Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites VanillaSkyGirl 6 #20 February 6, 2004 QuoteHe's very interested in the fact that I am allergic to lidocaine, which is of course the numbing agent he uses for the IV anesthesia. ...without lidocaine, but it will hurt a lot, and to just keep breathing. Oh, I'm so sorry about that sweetie, but I am also totally allergic to lidocaine (epinephrine, penicillan and sulfa, too) I guess that I am a veteran to surgery, though, having gone under over 10 times myself. Quoteand then my left arm is burning inside it, I can feel the muscles freezing and cramping and I start screaming and then it's dark. Ok, I didn't share that in my prior surgery post, but that is so true. It fucking burns, Michele. It does. Beginning in the hand or arm creeping up like a scary silent poison to the shoulder, then ...dark. The reaction to anesthesia can vary greatly with each surgery for each person. You can never fully tell what will happen. I am so sorry that it went that way for you, my sweet friend. Hugs to you for getting through it. Quoteand I can't move them I can't breathe I am choking and pleasepleasepleaseplease oh God help me it hurts so much! Oh no! I'm so sorry that you had to go through this excruciatingly frightening and painful experience. Shit. You are awesome for hanging in there, my sweet friend. I'm so proud of you. Quoteand now Michael is coming, I see him crossing the room, and I reach out my hand and Michael takes it and says "Hi, Lady", and I am safe again. Michael is an angel. thank God that you had him there to comfort you. I'm so very, very glad. You know what? You made it through, Michele. that is all that matters. You did it. It's over. I'm still amazed and proud of you for your strength through all this. You may not think so, but I think that you are inspiring...especially to share this with us all. Your new "please don't kick the nurses" line will be my new slogan the next time that I have to have surgery. Loving you so much, ROSA Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Michele 1 #21 February 6, 2004 Mary stop crying already. You're soggier than I am! Andrea, I'm not resiliant, just stubborn...I wrote it up in between pills, so Deucy couldn't make fun of my grammar and syntax and spelling. LOL!!!! My tongue is still numb, but most of it works, so that's all good. Makes my speech kinda funny, though. For those of you who think I'm strong, maybe I am, maybe not. I do what needs doing, regardless of how I feel about it. Dunno if that's strength or stubbornness, however. LOL, I'm really just a weakling masquerading as a strong chick. That Hail Mary as accompaniment to my crying is an interesting memory, though.... Thanks for all the support. It's made a difference. And Rosa, you are right, I am indeed very lucky to have had MJOsparky there for me, from beginning to end. I am slowly getting the pm's answered, please be patient with me. I write for as long as I can sit, and then I go lay down again... And I'll be back in the sky in the balmy California spring, hopefully in time to see the poppies spreading across the hills of Elsinore. Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Muenkel 0 #22 February 7, 2004 QuoteFor those of you who think I'm strong, maybe I am, maybe not. Is this the same lady who picked me up and swung me around in the airport? You're stronger than you think.Chris _________________________________________ Chris Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites ZoneRat 0 #23 February 7, 2004 >>I do what needs doing, regardless of how I feel about it.<< Sounds like strength to me.“There are more things in Heaven and Earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophies.” Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites flyangel2 2 #24 February 7, 2004 Quote.Dunno if that's strength or stubbornness, It's a fine line between strenght and being stubbon. Let me know when you figure it out and please, pass that knowledge on to me.May your trails be crooked, winding, lonesome, dangerous, leading to the most amazing view. May your mountains rise into and above the clouds. - Edward Abbey Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Muenkel 0 #25 February 7, 2004 QuotePlease Don't Kick The Nurses A footnote to all this. This is very good advice, but if a particular nurse is into this, I think you should oblige. That goes along with spankings also. Chris _________________________________________ Chris Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Prev 1 2 Next Page 1 of 2 Join the conversation You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account. Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible. Reply to this topic... × Pasted as rich text. Paste as plain text instead Only 75 emoji are allowed. × Your link has been automatically embedded. Display as a link instead × Your previous content has been restored. Clear editor × You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL. Insert image from URL × Desktop Tablet Phone Submit Reply 0
jceman 1 #7 February 6, 2004 Ya did it again, sweetie. Glad you made it through your ordeal and look forward to hearing more from you. And you're right, it's not nice to kick the nurses! Faster horses, younger women, older whiskey, more money. Why do they call it "Tourist Season" if we can't shoot them? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TheAnvil 0 #8 February 6, 2004 Hurry up and get well!Vinny the Anvil Post Traumatic Didn't Make The Lakers Syndrome is REAL JACKASS POWER!!!!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
flygirl03 0 #9 February 6, 2004 First of all, SO happy to see that you are well enough to write novels again Sounds like you are well on your way to a speedy recovery LOTS of prayers have been answered. About your writing talent...... QuoteAnd now I'm crying and moaning and fighting and pulling the mask off my face and I don't know where I am and I can't breathe and help me, please, someone - please, there's hands holding me down and there are bars keeping me here and I can't move them I can't breathe I am choking and pleasepleasepleaseplease oh God help me it hurts so much! ............ And then the nurse says "I know it hurts, sweetie, I'm putting more (something) into you. Breathe, relax Reading this brought back every PAINFUL memory of when I awoke from the only surgery I ever had. I remember Screaming, "No one told me it would hurt this bad!!" I had just given birth to a 9lb.15oz girl but that didn't hurt NEAR as much as the Tubal!!! Freakin inch long incision and I thought I was dying!! Speedy recovery girl!! (((HUGS)))) C ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ earthbound misfit Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Muenkel 0 #10 February 6, 2004 Michele, I can personally relate to everything you wrote. It was not until the 11th hour that I got my good news. Good to see you writing. It assures me that you are mending. I'm with ya sweetie.Heal fast, Chris _________________________________________ Chris Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RoadRash 0 #11 February 6, 2004 QuoteHurry up and get well! I agree, and I feel your pain...surgery sucks......get better so that when I meet you we can jump!!!!! ~R+R~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Fly the friendly skies...^_^...})ii({...^_~... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
eeneR 3 #12 February 6, 2004 Im glad everything is ok... The pre-op is the worst on your nerves waiting, and frightened alone...just the nurses....and post op is scary as hell, you wake up not know where you are and what is going on..... and normally in pain...Been on the table twice....and it is just plain scary... {{{{{HUGS}}}}} *whiping away tears*She is not a "Dumb Blonde" - She is a "Light-Haired Detour Off The Information Superhighway." eeneR TF#72, FB#4130, Incauto Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bbarnhouse 0 #13 February 6, 2004 We've been after Miche for quite some time now to write a book...I am anxiously waiting. Maybe when she is feeling a bit better, we can all quit encouraging her and start hounding her until she does! Sending you warmth and love from the desert Miche. B2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nightingale 0 #14 February 6, 2004 Glad to hear you're doing better, sweetie! Call if you need anything. -K- Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skymama 37 #15 February 6, 2004 Wow, I didn't think you'd be up and writing so soon. Then again, I shouldn't be surprised by your resilience at all anymore. Glad you're doing well. She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man, because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
chuteless 1 #16 February 6, 2004 Michele....you are not only a good jumper ( I still watch the video) but you are a very talented writer. Maybe you should write a good skydiving story and submit it Parachutist. ....or a fictional book....maybe a skydiving mystery. Take good care and heal fast. Your birthday on May 3rd....I hope you tell me you made your 100th jump Love and best wishes Bill Cole D-41 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
flygirl03 0 #17 February 6, 2004 Michele could write a book about YOU ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ earthbound misfit Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lee03 0 #18 February 6, 2004 Glad to hear your better -------- To put your life in danger from time to time ... breeds a saneness in dealing with day-to-day trivialities. --Nevil Shute, Slide Rule Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Snowbird 0 #19 February 6, 2004 Michele, oh my you had me right there through that post. And now you've got me right here wishing I could give you this gentle (((HUG))) in person. You'll be well, how couldn't someone with your strength? (And don't tell us you aren't strong - strength isn't always something you feel it's something you do) Can't wait to read your post about your next jump when you're healed up. Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. -Robert A. Heinlein Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
VanillaSkyGirl 6 #20 February 6, 2004 QuoteHe's very interested in the fact that I am allergic to lidocaine, which is of course the numbing agent he uses for the IV anesthesia. ...without lidocaine, but it will hurt a lot, and to just keep breathing. Oh, I'm so sorry about that sweetie, but I am also totally allergic to lidocaine (epinephrine, penicillan and sulfa, too) I guess that I am a veteran to surgery, though, having gone under over 10 times myself. Quoteand then my left arm is burning inside it, I can feel the muscles freezing and cramping and I start screaming and then it's dark. Ok, I didn't share that in my prior surgery post, but that is so true. It fucking burns, Michele. It does. Beginning in the hand or arm creeping up like a scary silent poison to the shoulder, then ...dark. The reaction to anesthesia can vary greatly with each surgery for each person. You can never fully tell what will happen. I am so sorry that it went that way for you, my sweet friend. Hugs to you for getting through it. Quoteand I can't move them I can't breathe I am choking and pleasepleasepleaseplease oh God help me it hurts so much! Oh no! I'm so sorry that you had to go through this excruciatingly frightening and painful experience. Shit. You are awesome for hanging in there, my sweet friend. I'm so proud of you. Quoteand now Michael is coming, I see him crossing the room, and I reach out my hand and Michael takes it and says "Hi, Lady", and I am safe again. Michael is an angel. thank God that you had him there to comfort you. I'm so very, very glad. You know what? You made it through, Michele. that is all that matters. You did it. It's over. I'm still amazed and proud of you for your strength through all this. You may not think so, but I think that you are inspiring...especially to share this with us all. Your new "please don't kick the nurses" line will be my new slogan the next time that I have to have surgery. Loving you so much, ROSA Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Michele 1 #21 February 6, 2004 Mary stop crying already. You're soggier than I am! Andrea, I'm not resiliant, just stubborn...I wrote it up in between pills, so Deucy couldn't make fun of my grammar and syntax and spelling. LOL!!!! My tongue is still numb, but most of it works, so that's all good. Makes my speech kinda funny, though. For those of you who think I'm strong, maybe I am, maybe not. I do what needs doing, regardless of how I feel about it. Dunno if that's strength or stubbornness, however. LOL, I'm really just a weakling masquerading as a strong chick. That Hail Mary as accompaniment to my crying is an interesting memory, though.... Thanks for all the support. It's made a difference. And Rosa, you are right, I am indeed very lucky to have had MJOsparky there for me, from beginning to end. I am slowly getting the pm's answered, please be patient with me. I write for as long as I can sit, and then I go lay down again... And I'll be back in the sky in the balmy California spring, hopefully in time to see the poppies spreading across the hills of Elsinore. Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Muenkel 0 #22 February 7, 2004 QuoteFor those of you who think I'm strong, maybe I am, maybe not. Is this the same lady who picked me up and swung me around in the airport? You're stronger than you think.Chris _________________________________________ Chris Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ZoneRat 0 #23 February 7, 2004 >>I do what needs doing, regardless of how I feel about it.<< Sounds like strength to me.“There are more things in Heaven and Earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophies.” Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
flyangel2 2 #24 February 7, 2004 Quote.Dunno if that's strength or stubbornness, It's a fine line between strenght and being stubbon. Let me know when you figure it out and please, pass that knowledge on to me.May your trails be crooked, winding, lonesome, dangerous, leading to the most amazing view. May your mountains rise into and above the clouds. - Edward Abbey Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Muenkel 0 #25 February 7, 2004 QuotePlease Don't Kick The Nurses A footnote to all this. This is very good advice, but if a particular nurse is into this, I think you should oblige. That goes along with spankings also. Chris _________________________________________ Chris Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
