0
tunaplanet

WOMEN DO NOT READ THIS

By tunaplanet, in The Bonfire

Recommended Posts

tunaplanet    0

tunaplanet
A kid comes home from school and says to his mom, "Mom I've got a problem".
She Says "Tell me". He tells her that the boys at school are using 2 words he doesn't understand. She asks him what are they.
He says "well, pussy and bitch".
She says "Oh that's no big deal, pussy is a cat like our little Mittens, and bitch is a female dog like our Sandy". He thanks her and goes to visit dad in the workshop in the basement.
He says to his dad, "Dad the boys at school are using words I don't know, and I asked mom and I don't think she told me the exact meaning.
Dad says "son, I told you never to go to mom with these matters, she can't handle them. What are the words?" He tells him...pussy and bitch. Dad say's "OK" and pulls a Playboy down from the shelf, takes a marker, circles the pubic area of the centrefold and says, "son, everything inside this circle, is pussy".
"OK dad, so what's a bitch?"
"Son" he says, "everything outside that circle."



You know your wife/girlfriend is ugly when.....

- She looks out the window and gets arrested for indecent exposure.
- As a baby, she had to be breast-fed by the family dog.
- Even mosquito's stay away from her.
- She startles the animals at the zoo.
- On Halloween, she has to trick or treat over the phone.
- She makes onions cry.
- Her ass looks like two pigs fighting over a box of chocs
- Her armpits look like she has Don King in a headlock.
- The plastic surgeon wanted to add a tail.
- When she was born, the doctor slapped her mother.



A group of men are sitting together at a football game. During the game they noticed there was a woman there that seemd to know a lot about the game and they're really impressed. After the game they ask her "how is it that you know so much about football?"
She says, "Well, I used to be a man and got a sex change."
The men are amazed, but very curious about the process. "What was the most painful part of the process? Was it when they cut off your penis?"
"That was very painful, but was not the most painful part."
"Was it when they cut off your balls?"
"That was very painful, but was not the most painful part."
"What was the most painful part?"
"The part where they stuck that needle in my head and sucked out half my brain...THAT FUCKING HURT!!!!!"



Yesterday scientists revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones. To prove their theory the scientists fed 100 men 12 pints of beer each and observed that 100% of them gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became emotional, couldn't drive and refused to apologise when wrong. No further testing is planned.





Forty-two

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

benny    0

benny
Quote

Quote

- Her armpits look like she has Don King in a headlock.



That's not fair, what if she is French? ;)



Yeah, like Julie Delpy or however the hell her name is spelled from An American Wherewolf in Paris, she definitely had some hair on the pits, but she is definitely hot. Just gotta tell her to shave that shit.

Never go to a DZ strip show.

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
0
Go To Topic Listing