Smart Ass Answers.......

[rhino 0]

>Smart-ass Answer #1
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>A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check
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>tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and
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>he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat...she
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>said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub."
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>Smart-ass Answer #2
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>A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery
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>store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a
>stock boy,
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>"Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am,
>they're
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>dead."
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>Smart-ass Answer #3
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>The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for
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>speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day,"
>the cop
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>said. The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When
>the
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>cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a
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>ticket.
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>Smart-ass Answer #4
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>A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up
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>that reads, Low bridge ahead'. Before he knows it, the bridge is right
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>ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for
>miles.
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>Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and
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>walks around to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says,
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>"Got stuck, huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this
>bridge
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>and ran out of gas."
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>and finally Smart-ass #5,
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>THE TEACHER Smart-ass Answer OF THE YEAR
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>A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam.
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>"Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here
>tomorrow. I
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>might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness,
>or a
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>death in your immediate family but that's it, no other excuses
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>whatsoever!" A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his
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>hand and asks, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering
>from
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>complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class does its best to
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>stifle their laughter and snickering. When silence is restored,
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>the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head, and
>sweetly
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>says, Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."

[Casch 0]

#3 and #5 are my favs hehe

[ACMESkydiver 0]

~Jaye
Do not believe that possibly you can escape the reward of your action.

[Malfunction 0]

I may disagree with what you have to say, but I shall defend to the death your right to say it.
- Voltaire