Sex

[bshl 0]

A version of this was posted here a couple of years ago. I just thought of it again and thought it worth a repeat. It's pretty doggone funny!

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My choice in naming my dog Sex has been very embarrassing. When I went to City Hall to renew his dog license, I told the clerk I would like to have a license for Sex. He said, "I'd like to have one, too." Then I said, "But she is a dog!" He said he didn't care what she looked like. Then I said, "But you don't understand, I need Sex, and to have Sex at home I need to get a license for Sex." I then told him that I have had Sex since I was nine years old. He said I must have been mature for my age. I said, oh yeah. My mom was tired of me always playing with myself, so she got me sex for my birthday. He asked me if she explained what exactly Sex was, and how to properly handle it and I told him that I had seen lots of movies and read lots of books ... since the age of 5 or so. He didn't look too well.

When I decided to get married, I told the minister that I would like to have Sex at the wedding. He told me to wait until after the wedding was over. I said, "But Sex has played a big part in my life and my whole world revolves around Sex." He said he didn't want to hear about my personal life and would not marry us in his church. I told him everyone would enjoy having Sex at the wedding. The next day we were married at the Justice of the Peace. My family was barred from the church from then on.

After the wedding we went on our honeymoon and I took the dog with me. I told the motel clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and me and a special room for Sex. He said every room in the place was for sex. I said, "You don't understand. Sex keeps me awake at night!" The clerk said, "Me too." I told him that the noises that Sex makes are unnerving and that she can keep it up all night. He just told me I was a very lucky man.

One day I entered Sex in a contest, but before the competition began, she ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just standing there looking around. I told him I had planned to have Sex in the contest. He told me I should have sold my own tickets. "But you don't understand," I said, "I had hoped to have Sex on TV." He called me a show-off. I asked him if he wanted to see the Blue Ribbon that we won at the last competition. That's where I got this black eye.

When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight custody of the dog. I said, "Your honor, I had Sex before I was married." The judge said, "Me too." Then I told him that after I was married, Sex left me. He said, "Me too." I told him that my wife doesn't really want Sex, or like Sex for that matter, but she is just using Sex as a way to get even with me. He asked me why I though I was so special and should have any different type of marriage than any other couple. I asked him if he knew how much Sex really meant to me, and that I would just die without Sex. He told me I was just overreacting and that I would just have to learn to enjoy my own company because he could not force her to give me Sex.

Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking around town for him. A cop came over to me and asked, "What are you doing in this alley at 4:00 in the morning?" I said, "I'm looking for Sex." My case comes up Friday.

Blue skies and happy landings!

[skydiverbc 0]

that one never tires me from laughing hard

[ACMESkydiver 0]

That was funny....

~Jaye
Do not believe that possibly you can escape the reward of your action.

[DaGimp 0]

Quote

My choice in naming my dog Sex has been very embarrassing. When I went to City Hall to renew his dog license, I told the clerk I would like to have a license for Sex. He said, "I'd like to have one, too." Then I said, "But she is a dog!"

very good but they should have made the dog either male or female.

"Professor of Pimpology"~~~Bolas