where are all the jokes?

[CrazyThomas 0]

Seriously, I know this ain't no damn democracy, but killing all the joke threads?

wassup wit dat?

yes, most jokes I tell are offensive. As are many other jokes told by many other posters.
Has Sangiro given the order to kill the offensive jokes, or are the greenies striking out on their own path?
Yes, I realize you can't question the Greenies'

[cartman voice] AUTHORITY [/cartman voice],

but seriously, is this place cleaning up so much that "offensive to some groups" jokes are no longer allowed?

Like, can I tell this?

What does a woman do when she gets out of the battered women's shelter?
The dishes if the bitch knows what's good for her.

Or should I just go ahead and say

IBR


Thomas

[freeflygoddess 0]

you mean IBL?

[Nightingale 0]

whats IBR or IBL???

[lawrocket 3]

Nope. the rule has ALWAYS been the same regarding jokes or references to pedophilia. That thread had a joke about it.

I believe that's why it was deleted.

My wife is hotter than your wife.

[CrazyThomas 0]

Quote

you mean IBL?

no no no. It would be IBTL

I meant IBR

as in......In Before Removal

Like the "Tasteless Jokes Thread"


It's a new spin on the same old shit.


Thomas

[freeflygoddess 0]

oh yeah...lol... that is what i meant...ibtl....lol..

[CrazyThomas 0]

Sweet. I caught that, and that's fair. But what about all of Clay's jokes? They were funny as hell, and seem to have dissappeared.


Thomas

[tunaplanet 0]

Jokes are no good. They would rather you post repetitive political threads that turn into arguments and name calling as opposed to threads about jokes where no one argues, just laughs and haves fun.

Forty-two

[karenmeal 0]

So no dead baby jokes then?

"Life is a temporary victory over the causes which induce death." - Sylvester Graham

[skybytch 273]

Quote

Nope. the rule has ALWAYS been the same regarding jokes or references to pedophilia. That thread had a joke about it.

I believe that's why it was deleted.

You're a smart man.

Surgery was not an option on that thread as too many ppl had replied to the "joke" that busted #2. So the whole thing went away.

Start a new thread. Keep the kid sex and racist "jokes" out of it and it won't disappear.

Pretty simple.

[skybytch 273]

Quote

Jokes are no good. They would rather you post repetitive political threads that turn into arguments and name calling as opposed to threads about jokes where no one argues, just laughs and haves fun.

You're assuming that a greenie who gives a rats ass about politics deleted it.

You are assuming incorrectly.

Don't assume.

[CrazyThomas 0]

Quote

Surgery was not an option on that thread as too many ppl had replied to the "joke" that busted #2. So the whole thing went away.

Start a new thread. Keep the kid sex and racist "jokes" out of it and it won't disappear.

Pretty simple.

WHAT? when the hell did the no racist jokes take effect?
If you want no racist jokes, you should say no gender jokes. And then no sexual orientation jokes. and that leaves us with physics jokes.

For example, take the classic Physics Joke.

Two Hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. The first says to the second one.
" I think I lost my electron."
The second asks "Are you sure?"
And the first atom replies
"Yes, I'm positive." [cheesy face]


Thomas

[stuffit 0]

That wasnt the point.

[skybytch 273]

Quote

That wasnt the point

Wouldn't be the first time I'm missed the point.

[tunaplanet 0]

Quote

So no dead baby jokes then?

Nope. No jokes at all. Only acceptable threads are the following.....

- Threads asking for vibes for the 925,717 time.

- Threads whose entire purpose is to allow posters to brag about themselves.

- Threads sucking up to the mods.

- Political/religeous/gun control threads.

- Threads that ask advice and basic, simple questions that any person with an IQ of over 10 could answer or figure out.

- Threads that are started by people to ask for congratulations and other self-serving actions.

And coming soon...no laughing, smiling or having fun.

Forty-two

[airtwardo 7]

The Top 15 Advertising Slogans for Delta Air Lines...



1. Delta: We're Amtrak with wings.

2. Join our frequent near-miss program.

3. Ask about our out-of-court settlements.

4. Noisy engines? We'll turn 'em off!

5. Complimentary champagne in free-fall.

6. Enjoy the in-flight movie in the plane next to you.

7. The kids will love our inflatable slides.

8. You think it's so easy, get your own damn plane!

9. Delta: Our pilots are terminally ill and have nothing to lose.

10. Delta: We might be landing on your street!

11. Delta: Terrorists are afraid to fly with us.

12. Bring a bathing suit.

13. So that's what these buttons do!

14. Delta: A real man lands where he wants to.

15. Delta: We never make the same mistake three times.

~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~

[tunaplanet 0]

Quote

and racist "jokes" out of it and it

Yeah. So let me see if I have this correct. Jokes making fun of a gender are ok, but jokes against a race are not. Ok, I think I follow

Jokes are not philosophy, beliefs nor actions...they're freakin jokes.

Forty-two

[karenmeal 0]

Here is a joke that I like:

Why is Helen Keller such a bad driver?

Because she is a woman!

"Life is a temporary victory over the causes which induce death." - Sylvester Graham

[tunaplanet 0]

ROFL. That Delta joke was hillarious. Saving that one. Thanks.

Forty-two

[airtwardo 7]

Delta...

D on't
E ven
L eave
T he
A irport






ALTERNATE AIRPORT: The area directly beyond the active runway when the engine quits on take off

ALTIMETER SETTING: The place where the altimeter sets. Usually hidden by the control column during a near-minimums instrument approach.

BANK: The folks who hold the mortgage on your aircraft.

BI-PLANE: What you'll say to your bird if flying costs keep going up

CARBURETOR ICE: Phrase used by pilots when explaining accident caused by fuel exhaustion.

"CLEAR": Warning shouted two seconds after hitting the starter button.

CONTROL TOWER: A small shack on stilts inhabited by government pensioners who can't hear. When they become blind, they are sent to centres.

CRITICAL ALTITUDE: Minus six feet.

CRITICAL ENGINE: That part of your airplane which used to be under the cowl, but is now in intensive care at the maintenance shop.

DEAD RECKONING: You reckon correctly, or you are.

DE-ICER: A device designed to operate under all weather conditions, except icing.

ENGINE FAILURE: A condition which occurs when all fuel tanks become filled with air.

FIREWALL: Section of aircraft especially designed to allow all engine heat and smoke to fill the cockpit.

GLIDING DISTANCE: Half the distance from your present position to the nearest decent landing area at the time of complete power failure.

GROSS WEIGHT: Maximum permissible take off weight, plus an extra suitcase, a case of bourbon, rifle, ammo, golf bag, bowling ball, and diving weights.

HOLDING PATTERN: The term applied to the dogfight in progress over any radio facility serving a terminal airport.

RANGE: Five miles beyond the point where all fuel tanks have become filled with air.

WALKAROUND: What you do when waiting for weather to clear.

LANDING FLAP: A 4000' roll out on a 3000' runway.

~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~

[tunaplanet 0]

LOL!

Forty-two

[skybytch 273]

Quote

Jokes making fun of a gender are ok, but jokes against a race are not.

In my opinion racist jokes are right up there with political bullshit threads - guaranteed to piss someone off and start yet another flame war.

This has been discussed before. I'm too lazy to dig up the thread(s) though.

[Conundrum 1]

A grasshopper walks into a bar... sits down and orders a drink. Bartender looks at the grasshopper and says: " Hey! We have a drink named after you! " The grasshopper, with a puzzled look on his face, looks at the bartender and says " You have a drink named Steve?"

[airtwardo 7]

The Average Skydiver...

Despite the sometimes
swaggering exterior,

Is very much capable of such feelings
as Love, Affection, Intimacy
and Caring



These feeling just don't involve
anyone else!

~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~

[karenmeal 0]

I love that one Conundrum! Right up my alley.. here is another one.

So this guy hears a teeny tiny knock on his door one day and goes to answer it. He looks around and sees nobody, he looks down and sees a tiny little snail. He picks the snail up and hucks it off into his yard.
Three years later, he hears the same little knock! He goes to answer and sees nobody there, he looks down and spots this little snail.
The snail looks up at him and says, "HEY! What the fuck was that all about?!!!"

"Life is a temporary victory over the causes which induce death." - Sylvester Graham