Nightingale 0 #1 April 15, 2004 Rear admiral When I was a student at the Freie Universität Berlin (Germany) in 1983, I faithfully attended the weekly lecture on Gerichtsmedizin (forensic medicine) that was based on the grim harvest of the West Berlin police department. Apart from the gruesome, the horrifying (child abuse!) and the plain morbid, there were a few candidates who'd undoubtedly qualify for a Darwin Award. One that sticks out in my mind was the lamentable case of a middle-aged West Berliner whose autoerotic proclivities and aspirations as an amateur electrician provided a spark of levity for the permanently nauseous audience. This gentleman had -- presumably by a process of trial and error that I leave others to speculate about -- arrived at the conclusion that ramming a "candle"-shaped lightbulb up his rectum was a pretty darn pleasant experience, especially when practised in combination with a small leather harness attached to his procreative equipment. Unfortunately, he must have felt uncomfortable by the initial chill emanating from the cold glass of the lightbulb. But necessity is the mother of invention: He detached socket, switch, and power cord from an ordinary table lamp and adapted them to his specific purpose, put the harness on his little friend, and proceded to amuse himself with the now instantly heatable lightbulb in his rear end. Tragically, his skills as an electrician were vastly inferior to his inventiveness. While happily playing with his new toy, his shoddy workmanship sent 240V through his body, electrocuting him in flagranti. A slide of his contraption... pluss harness... and his inspirational story were part of the standard lecture on Gerichtsmedizin (forensic medicine) at the Freie Universität Berlin back in the summer semester of 1983... and presumably longer. from www.darwinawards.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
chuteless 1 #2 April 15, 2004 you must be getting desparate for topics. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nightingale 0 #3 April 15, 2004 I'm sitting at work bored out of my mind! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lawrocket 3 #4 April 15, 2004 Chack out the Ignobel Prize website for other fun items, like this: 1994 IgNobel Prize in Medicine This prize is awarded in two parts. First, to Patient X, formerly of the US Marine Corps, valiant victim of a venomous bite from his pet rattlesnake, for his determined use of electroshock therapy -- at his own insistence, automobile sparkplug wires were attached to his lip, and the car engine revved to 3000 rpm for five minutes. Second, to Dr. Richard C. Dart of the Rocky Mountain Poison Center and Dr. Richard A. Gustafson of The University of Arizona Health Sciences Center, for their well-grounded Medical report: "Failure of Electric Shock Treatment for Rattlesnake Envenomation." [Published in "Annals of Emergency Medicine," vol. 20, no. 6, June 1991, pp. 659-61.] Or this one in 1993 for James F. Nolan, Thomas J. Stillwell, and John P. Sands, Jr., medical men of mercy, for their painstaking research report, "Acute Management of the Zipper-Entrapped Penis." [Published in Journal of Emergency Medicine, vol. 8, no. 3, May/June 1990, pp. 305-7.] My wife is hotter than your wife. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nightingale 0 #5 April 15, 2004 Firecracker Chainsaw Massacre 2002 Darwin Award Nominee (January 2002, Croatia) A Croatian was killed while trying to open a hand grenade with a chainsaw. He wanted to retrieve the explosive to make firecrackers for the New Year’s holiday. Loch Ness Monster 1999 Honorable Mention (June 1999, California) Last summer down on Lake Isabella, in the high desert east of Bakersfield, a woman was having trouble with her boat. No matter how she tried, she just couldn't get her new 22-foot Bayliner to perform. It was sluggish in every maneuver, regardless of the power applied. She tried for an hour to make her boat go, but finally gave up and putted over to a nearby Marina for help. A topside check revealed that everything was in perfect working order. The engine ran fine, the outboard motor pivoted up and down, and the prop was the correct size and pitch. One of the Marina guys jumped in the water to check beneath the boat. He came up almost choking on water, he was laughing so hard. Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer. Shed Protection 2002 Honorable Mention (August 2002, Netherlands) A 66-year-old Margraten resident wanted to protect his garden shed against burglars. The best way to do this, he decided, was to construct a booby trap. He cobbled together some ropes and a shotgun aimed at the door. Proud of his ingenuity, he demonstrated the effectiveness of the device to two friends by shooting himself in the abdomen and lower arm. An emergency operation prevented him from winning a Darwin Award. Police searched his home, and confiscated firearms and ammo, along with 15 full-grown marijuana plants that perhaps helped him formulate this painful lesson in safety. Budget Hangliding 2004 Reader Submission KATU 2 News - Portland, Oregon www.katu.com Man dies from 36-foot fall off fire escape March 29, 2004 CORVALLIS - Corvallis police say a 43-year-old man died after jumping from a fire escape on a downtown building. Police say Michael Gurwell intentionally jumped from the fifth floor fire escape Saturday night while holding a neon kite with an 8-foot wingspan. He was wearing protective knee pads and a bicycle helmet. Gurwell fell 36 feet to land on the roof of the second floor. He was taken to Good Samaritan hospital, where he died about 40 minutes later. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
