Paige 0 #1 April 13, 2004 I didn't want to just post this in the women's forum because someone out there has a female friend, wife, s/o, etc. that could be affected. This was a real study done in California. My aunt sent it to me and thought I would pass it on. It is really interesting and most of it you may have heard before but it never hurts. Be safe out there! ::Through A Rapist's Eyes:: A group of rapists and date rapists in prison were interviewed on what they look for in a potential victim and here are some interesting facts: 1) The first thing men look for in a potential victim is hairstyle. They are most likely to go after a woman with a ponytail, bun, braid or other hairstyle that can easily be grabbed. They are also likely to go after a woman with long hair. Women with short hair are not common targets. 2) The second thing men look for is clothing. They will look for women who's clothing is easy to remove quickly. Many of them carry scissors around to cut clothing. 3) They also look for women on their cell phone, searching through their purse or doing other activities while walking because they are off guard and can be easily overpowered. 4) The time of day men are most likely to attack and rape a woman is in the early morning, between 5 and 8:30 a.m. 5) The number one place women are abducted from/attacked at is grocery store parking lots. Number two is office parking lots/garages. Number three is public restrooms. 6) The thing about these men is that they are looking to grab a woman and quickly move her to a second location where they don't have to worry about getting caught. 7) Only 2% said they carried weapons because rape carries a 3-5 year sentence but rape with a weapon is 15-20 years. 8) If you put up any kind of a fight at all, they get discouraged because it only takes a minute or two for them to realize that going after you isn't worth it because it will be time-consuming. 9) These men said they would not pick on women who have umbrellas, or other similar objects that can be used from a distance, in their hands. Keys are not a deterrent because you have to get really close to the attacker to use them as a weapon. So, the idea is to convince these guys you're not worth it. 10) Several defense mechanisms he taught us are: If someone is following behind you on a street or in a garage or with you in an elevator or stairwell, look them in the face and ask them a question, like what time is it, or make general small talk, I can't believe it is so cold out here, we're in for a bad winter. Now you've seen their face and could identify them in a line-up, you lose appeal as a target. 11) If someone is coming toward you, hold out your hands in front of you and yell Stop or Stay back! Most of the rapists this man talked to said they'd leave a woman alone if she yelled or showed that she would not be afraid to fight back. Again, they are looking for an EASY target. 12) If you carry pepper spray (this instructor was a huge advocate of it and carries it with him wherever he goes), yelling I HAVE PEPPER SPRAY and holding it out will be a deterrent. 13) If someone grabs you, you can't beat them with strength but you can by outsmarting them. If you are grabbed around the waist from behind, pinch the attacker either under the arm between the elbow and armpit or in the upper inner thigh -- HARD. One woman in a class this guy taught told him she used the underarm pinch on a guy who was trying to date rape her and was so upset she broke through the skin and tore out muscle strands - the guy needed stitches. Try pinching yourself in those places as hard as you can stand it; it hurts. 14) After the initial hit, always go for the groin.. I know from a particularly unfortunate experience that if you slap a guy's parts it is extremely painful. You might think that you'll anger the guy and make him want to hurt you more, but the thing these rapists told our instructor is that they want a woman who will not cause a lot of trouble. Start causing trouble, and he's out of there. 15) When the guy puts his hands up to you, grab his first two fingers and bend them back as far as possible with as much pressure pushing down on them as possible.. The instructor did it to me without using much pressure, and I ended up on my knees and both knuckles cracked audibly. 16) Of course the things we always hear still apply. Always be aware of your surroundings, take someone with you if you can and if you see any odd behavior, don't dismiss it, go with your instincts. You may feel a little silly at the time, but you'd feel much worse if the guy really was trouble.Tunnel Pink Mafia Delegate www.TunnelPinkMafia.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bobsled92 0 #2 April 13, 2004 ***KNOWN FACT: Rapist are cowards. (my hate for cowards is a deep and gory one.)_______________________________ If I could be a Super Hero, I chose to be: "GRANT-A-CLAUS". and work 365 days a Year. http://www.hangout.no/speednews/ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PhillyKev 0 #3 April 13, 2004 My suggestion......find a Krav Maga class. I only took a few classes, want to take it again, but it's really really good for women. It's the Israeli military martial arts/hand to hand combat. What's unique about it is it's built around your natural reactions. Instead of memorizing moves like other martial arts, it takes your natural reflexes and builds on them. For instance, someone puts you in a choke hold from behind, your natural reaction is to reach up and grab their arm with your hands. You probably won't be able to do much that way. But Krav Maga trains you to follow up that motion with an elbow to their solar plexus, or keep reaching further and gouge their eyes. There's no sparring in Krav Maga because every move is designed to disable or mortally wound your attacker as quickly as possible. No macho sparrin matches or katas or anything like that. Just good old fashioned, street brawling, self defense. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Darius11 12 #4 April 13, 2004 Good points. I think everyone should take some sort of self defense. It does help and it will save you. Guys or Girls. Specially for the girl learn pursuer points. There is lots of them. You can take down some one twice your size or inflict enough pain that they will run. Just another point about this study. This just reinforces my belief that rapist should have there balls removed. How can you sit there and plane things like oh she has long hair she will be easier to rape. Fucking sick.I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not." - Kurt Cobain Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gmanpilot 0 #5 April 13, 2004 QuoteI think everyone should take some sort of self defense. I agree. Forget pinching arms, groins or solerplexes. Go for the eyes, drive your fingers (thumbs especially) deep into the orbits. They can't rape or fight if they can't see._________________________________________ -There's always free cheese in a mouse trap. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Paige 0 #6 April 13, 2004 Agreed! Anyone that preys on others in a sexual way or any other is a coward in my book. Let's stay safe and keep the women in our world alive and kickin.Tunnel Pink Mafia Delegate www.TunnelPinkMafia.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest #7 April 13, 2004 Aside from not sending signals that you're easy prey, the best defense is not to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Please see Marc "Animal" Mac Young's "No-Nonsense Self-Defense" website. mh edit to correct clicky (thx clay) ."The mouse does not know life until it is in the mouth of the cat." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freeflir29 0 #8 April 13, 2004 Clicky that works..... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
FrogNog 1 #9 April 13, 2004 Quote4) The time of day men are most likely to attack and rape a woman is in the early morning, between 5 and 8:30 a.m. Damn that morning wood! -=-=-=-=- Pull. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
VanillaSkyGirl 6 #10 April 13, 2004 I was brutally raped several years ago when I was young and innocent. Even back then, I was always very careful about where I went and with whom. I took self-defense classes when I was as young as 13 and was cautioned about rape and attackers throughout my teens. It saddens me that despite my efforts to protect myself, this could have happened to me. Recently, I was almost raped again in Orlando, as many of you know. It is pretty devastating to know that this could have happened, yet again. I still feel stupid for walking back to my hotel from the tunnel by myself, even though everyone (men and women) told me that they all did it all the time by themselves at all hours. I didn't want for anyone to think that I was a prima donna, so I walked back by myself. When this man attacked me, he was choking me from behind and groping me, while restraining both my arms. He was easily twice my weight...a bear of a man. I tried everything that I could to get free. I used my whole body, my legs, my good sense of balance, anything that I could. I truly believe that the fact that I didn't give up was why I got away from him. My advice to women is that if you find yourself in this situation...already in the process of the beginning of a rape or attack of some sort, please do not give up. No matter how long that it goes on (my struggle went on for a VERY long time); please keep fighting for your life. Fight the attacker until the very end. It could mean the difference between life and death/or rape. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
VanillaSkyGirl 6 #11 April 14, 2004 I almost forgot, if you can make noise...do it! When my attacker's choke hold lessened on my neck, I screamed as loudly as I could. People on the busy main street heard my screams for help. They saw this man assaulting me, stopped the car and leaped out to help. Do not stop screaming for assistance until you are safe. Be as loud as humanly possible... Thanks, Paige, for this post. ((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
scottjaco 0 #12 April 14, 2004 QuoteI didn't want to just post this in the women's forum I know you are trying to help but I wish you had only posted this in the womens forum. I feel that this is more of a "talk back" style forum. While I can appreciate your tips...they have a certain anti male undertone that would do better in the "womens forum". thank you. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Remster 30 #13 April 14, 2004 Quotethey have a certain anti male undertone ?????? I certainly didnt feel pointed at by the tips!Remster Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Paige 0 #14 April 14, 2004 Couldn't agree more. Women should know how to take care of themselves. Any martial arts training would def. increase the odds of making it through a situation like this unscaved or even avoidin it in the first place.Tunnel Pink Mafia Delegate www.TunnelPinkMafia.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Paige 0 #15 April 14, 2004 QuoteQuote4) The time of day men are most likely to attack and rape a woman is in the early morning, between 5 and 8:30 a.m. Damn that morning wood! Ahhh, funny but probably a factor in their sexual drive and ill intentions. That would be a cool/funny study to conduct.Tunnel Pink Mafia Delegate www.TunnelPinkMafia.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Paige 0 #16 April 14, 2004 I'm so sorry to hear about your experiences. I'm sure you prepared and did all you could; that goes to show you always have to be on your guard no matter how much you have trained/prepared. I hope you never have to experience this again. I wonder what the odds are that this would happen to someone twice?Tunnel Pink Mafia Delegate www.TunnelPinkMafia.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
billvon 3,107 #17 April 14, 2004 >Any martial arts training would def. increase the odds of making it > through a situation like this unscaved . . . Agreed. >or even avoidin it in the first place. ?? Huh? The wisdom to avoid such situations doesn't come from a dojo. It comes from real-life experience, in knowing who to avoid, what situations to not get in (i.e. drunk with strangers) or what not to do (i.e. getting rides home from strangers.) Indeed, if your martial arts training makes you confident enough to do more risky things, it may just increase rather than decrease your chances of avoiding situations such as the one described. If you really want to avoid such situations, plain old common sense is your best weapon, followed closely by the speed you can run and the volume of noise you can make. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
themitchyone 0 #18 April 14, 2004 Paige, Thank you for posting this. -Michele"If the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn't, it's that girls should stick to girl's sports such as hot oil wrestling and foxy boxing." - Homer Simpson Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Paige 0 #19 April 14, 2004 QuoteI almost forgot, if you can make noise...do it! When my attacker's choke hold lessened on my neck, I screamed as loudly as I could. People on the busy main street heard my screams for help. They saw this man assaulting me, stopped the car and leaped out to help. Do not stop screaming for assistance until you are safe. Be as loud as humanly possible... Thanks, Paige, for this post. ((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))) Yes! Scream, yell, cause a comotion. Even if no one helps immedately, maybe someone will hear and be able to help you in the aftermath. Better late than never, esp. if you are seriously hurt. Gettin to the ER right away is very important, even if people can't help stop the event, I'm sure they would be more than willing to drive to the ER to help someone in need. I think you deserve all the (((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))) babe! I'll give ya all that I got. Thanks for sharing with us the events that happend. I've also been there and it sucks (not twice however); hard to recall at times but always easier when others can learn. Keep fightin girlie, you're a stronger woman than I!Tunnel Pink Mafia Delegate www.TunnelPinkMafia.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Paige 0 #20 April 14, 2004 So you don't know any females that could benefit from this? I think your comments are stranger that posting this in talk back. There aren't anti male tones in this. It's just facts, cold hard facts of guys who have committed these offenses. If there were a problem with women raping men or men raping men, I would have posted that as well.Tunnel Pink Mafia Delegate www.TunnelPinkMafia.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Paige 0 #21 April 14, 2004 QuoteQuotethey have a certain anti male undertone ?????? I certainly didnt feel pointed at by the tips! Thanks for taking it in the light it was intended. To help everyone. I know that if I were a guy and this happened to one of my female friends, I would be terribly upset. Esp. if I saw this and said nothing because I thought it was biased towards men. Fact is most rapes are committed by men. It's not opinion, just fact.Tunnel Pink Mafia Delegate www.TunnelPinkMafia.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Paige 0 #22 April 14, 2004 My pleasure. Glad I could help aid in the safety and awareness of all. It's not just a female problem. I wonder how guys would react if their g/f, s/o, wife came home and said they were raped?!?!?Tunnel Pink Mafia Delegate www.TunnelPinkMafia.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
VanillaSkyGirl 6 #23 April 14, 2004 QuoteI hope you never have to experience this again. I wonder what the odds are that this would happen to someone twice? Thank you, Paige. I don't know why this happened or almost happened more than once. I agree with Bill about not putting ourselves in certain situations, which is why the first time doesn't make sense. I have never gotten drunk with strangers or put myself in strange situations. It's funny, but it seems that women that walk around half naked, drunk and alone at night don't get hurt. It's people trying to be safe that seem to stick out to them as a challenge. Well, I blame myself for trying to walk back to my hotel in Orlando from the tunnel by myself at night. Acutally, other females, including Eliana, did the same thing at all hours. We were all in different hotels. I was the one attacked, though. Hmmm...I do have long hair...lol. I was carrying something heavy in a plastic bag that I could swing...I had my keys in my other hand. I was alert and kept looking around and walking swiftly. I covered my body with a heavy coat and tried to look strong. Let's face it, I still must have done many things wrong...I could question myself and my actions forever. I am trying to let it go and learn from it. I will never walk to my car or anywhere alone at night, again. Oh Paige, you are a sweetheart, and I admire you for posting this here. I admire you for your strength and for caring enough to bring this to our attention. Love ya lots! Scott, please don't be offended. This thread is not anti-men, it's anti-rapists. Think about how you would feel if this happened to a woman that you loved. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Greene 0 #24 April 14, 2004 Anti male? Not at all. Paige did a good job of posting information for everyone. In regards to this post, I personally think it should be posted in all fourms. Sorry, Sangrio I did not really mean to say that.Again, anti male, no. Males do commit violent rapes against women. This post is not anti male. Nice post Paige. Lee, not Jim Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Paige 0 #25 April 14, 2004 QuoteScott, please don't be offended. This thread is not anti-men, it's anti-rapists. Think about how you would feel if this happened to a woman that you loved. Could not agree more. No harm intended Scott. We love men but hate the rapists.Tunnel Pink Mafia Delegate www.TunnelPinkMafia.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
