Jayruss 0 #1 April 25, 2004 Perfect... Marty wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table. He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. Marty looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotless, clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping. Love you." So he goes to the kitchen and sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. Marty asks, "Son, what happened last night?" His son says, "Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and delirious. Broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled into the door." Confused, Marty asks, "So, why is everything in order and so clean, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?" His son replies, "Oh that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you said, "Lady, leave me alone, I'm married!" A self-induced hangover - $100.00 Broken furniture - $200.00 Breakfast - $10.00 Saying the right thing - priceless __________________________________________________ "Beware how you take away hope from another human being." -Oliver Wendell Holmes Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freeflir29 0 #2 April 25, 2004 QuoteMom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you said, "Lady, leave me alone, I'm married!" Dammitt.............maybe that's what I did wrong. I think I said something like "Hey...I thought your friend was coming with us?" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lawrocket 3 #3 April 25, 2004 True story: An NCO showed up at my unit a few years back. A great NCO, he was. He had a bandage on his head. Apparently, he woke up in the middle of the night around 2:30 a couple of nights before after a similar night of drinking. He asked, "What time is it?" His wife told him, and he said, "Shit! I gotta go home! My wife will kill me." Apparently, the lamp left quite a wound on the guy's head. My wife is hotter than your wife. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RoadRash 0 #4 April 25, 2004 QuoteTrue story: An NCO showed up at my unit a few years back. A great NCO, he was. He had a bandage on his head. Apparently, he woke up in the middle of the night around 2:30 a couple of nights before after a similar night of drinking. He asked, "What time is it?" His wife told him, and he said, "Shit! I gotta go home! My wife will kill me." Apparently, the lamp left quite a wound on the guy's head. ROFLAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Talk about a royal f*ck up! OMG...that made me laugh soooo hard I almost cried... ~R+R~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Fly the friendly skies...^_^...})ii({...^_~... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freeflir29 0 #5 April 25, 2004 QuoteApparently, the lamp left quite a wound on the guy's head. Why do women never laugh at things like that? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nightingale 0 #6 April 26, 2004 LOL!!! I was laughing my ass off! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gremlin 0 #7 April 26, 2004 Friend of mine got very drunk in a nightclub once and at the end of the evening was exchanging phone numbers with the young lady met in there and had been dancing with all night. Unfortunately he gave her his girlfriends phone number by mistake. The subsequent phone calls were interesting I'm drunk, you're drunk, lets go back to mine.... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
