ladyskydiver 0 #1 April 29, 2004 Marriage (Part I) Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules: "I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want-and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you that I won't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any comments?" His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex here at seven o'clock every night... whether you're here or not." ( SHE'S GOOD!) ********************** Marriage (Part II) Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary! The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads, 'Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever.' "Yeah?" she replies. "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads, "Here Lies My Husband Stiff At Last.'" (HE ASKED FOR IT!) ************************* Marriage (Part III) Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table. Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no good in bed either," and storms out of the house. After sometime he realizes he was nasty and decides to make amends and rings her up. She comes to the phone after many rings, and the irritated husband says, "what took you so long to answer the phone?" She says, "I was in bed." "In bed this early, doing what?" "Getting a second opinion!" (YEP, HE HAD THAT COMING, TOO!) ********************************* Marriage (Part IV) A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife," Mother of Six" in spite of her objections. One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it's time to go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home 'Mother of six?" His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion shouts right back, "Anytime you're ready, Father of Four." (RIGHT ON, LADY!) God may have created man before woman but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.Life is short! Break the rules! Forgive quickly! Kiss slowly! Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably. And never regret anything that made you smile. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nacmacfeegle 0 #2 April 29, 2004 Not bad for an imposter. Thought you might this....-------------------- He who receives an idea from me, receives instruction himself without lessening mine; as he who lights his taper at mine, receives light without darkening me. Thomas Jefferson Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #3 April 29, 2004 True story. When people are discussing something in a quiet and tense way, you know something is going on. A couple near me in a bar was talking like that one time. The guy said "Well if I can't get it from you, then I'll just get it somewhere else." The woman replied, "Go ahead. Just remember, in one night I can give away more than you'll get in a month." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
weegegirl 2 #4 April 29, 2004 QuoteNot bad for an imposter. Thought you might this.... hahahahhahahaha! that's really funny! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ladyskydiver 0 #5 April 29, 2004 Life is short! Break the rules! Forgive quickly! Kiss slowly! Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably. And never regret anything that made you smile. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
